To think I do need to cover my scars *TW for self harm*

[PaperdollCartoon]

Backstory: I suffered severe mental health problems throughout my teens and early twenties, repeated hospitalisations etc etc. I spent some time living in supported housing, worked my butt off to get some qualifications (I didn't finish school) and ultimately a good degree from a top 10 uni. I now work in a professional role in a sector I love, a job I never dreamed I'd be able to do ten years ago. I consider myself in remission, it's been 5 years since I was last unwell. Go me.

But I have quite extensive self harm scars down one arm left over. They are all old and pale now, and luckily freckly skin hides the worst on the outside of my arm, but they are very clearly self inflicted and not just thin white scratch lines.

I'm at a place in my current company where I don't hide them now, I've proven myself a smart, capable person and I know no one thinks anything about them. If they do it's not mentioned and doesn't effect my work. I never cover them in my personal life.

I am currently in a process for a new job in the same sector, that would also be client facing (very important clients) and when discussing this with friends who work in the same sector earlier this week I made a comment about how I was going to have a fun summer back in long sleeves if I get the job. I'm always hot and will suffer! But I know I need to cover them for at least a few months internally while I establish myself and probably forever with clients. My friends were quick to jump in how I shouldn't have to cover them, they're obviously old, it shows growth and that I'm strong etc etc. I said I want to be taken seriously as a professional and, wrong or right, the scars definitely work against me.

I'm right aren't I? If you were my client you would certainly have second thoughts about me if you saw the scars? Perhaps no one should care and should take me at face value, but that ain't life. Sorry this is super long, but would appreciate thoughts. Anyone else with scars they do or don't cover at work?

I have self harm scars and have lost at least one job because of them. Now I always keep them covered up when I start a new job and then scope the place out to work out what the attitudes are. I also always cover them up for clients. It's just not worth the risk.

It shouldn't be this way, but it definitely is.

manicinsomniac I'm curious why you think it's 'irresponsible and innappropriate' to show them at all - that's quite a strong choice of words!

I cover mine around people I don't know well.

By wearing short sleeves you're basically just walking around with your medical records printed on your arm. I don't want that. It's revealing too much personal information for me.

Paperdoll - because you never know who is going to be affected or influenced by seeing them. Causing someone young or vulnerable to get ideas or become distressed due to seeing the state of my arms and legs is one of my biggest fears.

I know it's a strong choice of words but it's something I feel is very important. I hate all those 'my scars show how I strong I am' type memes that fly around. They don't show strength at all. They show the results of mental illness or emotional distress manifesting in a very negative and potentially dangerous way.

I hate all those 'my scars show how I strong I am' type memes that fly around. They don't show strength at all. They show the results of mental illness or emotional distress manifesting in a very negative and potentially dangerous way.

I do have to agree with this. I think my strength is the fact I have learned to deal with my illness. My scars are from when I was very sick and at my weakest.

I have lots of self harm scars which are about 20 years old now. I tend to cover them in situations where I'm trying to be presentable - like work, meetings, dealing with school. It's just as much to avoid potential questions as anything - people might not be prejudiced but they might be overly concerned and I'd just rather not have to discuss it. I don't find it a big deal to have to wear long sleeves - I tend to feel the cold so I rarely overheat, and there are lots of nice sheer cover ups available.

But I don't cover them up for the sake of not distressing other people though, I don't feel I should have to cover up my body just to suit others - I do so because it suits me but if I was happy to reveal them then I think that should be my right.

I agree with pp about the scars showing strength as well. I am not a self harmer any more but I am still mentally ill and in many ways in more debilitating (but less visible) ways. It is a huge leap to suppose that if you have scars then you're fully recovered or stronger than someone who was had severe mh issues but had other coping mechanisms that don't result in scarring.

I don't think my scars show strength or weakness, they just show illness.

But I also don't think I should police my body for others. I think saying I shouldn't show my scars in case it gives people the idea is like saying people shouldn't be thin in case it triggers someone's eating disorder. I'm not going to cover myself my whole life on the off chance someone else might feel triggered, anything can trigger anyone in the right circumstances.

Manic works with children. In a ideal world no child would be influenced to do unhealthy behaviour by a teacher. Fair enough to show to adults but I understand why manic feels covering is the responsible Choice in her profession.

manic in answer to your question not to my knowledge, I've never known it to be an issue for any one,

The infection control issue is with any fabric covering the arms, I can't imagine they would make any exceptions.

D'you know what?
I've seen people with obvious self-harm scars (fresh and faded),
I've always thought 'well, they must have gone through a tough time' and felt sorry that was the way their life was.
Judging doesn't come into it, humanity does.

Depends hugely on your industry but I would cover them. Same as tattoos, wouldn't show them in professional situation.

There are some lovely long sleeve sheer blouses around, they would be okay and not too hot with a cami under. And tbh in professional situation you normally have at least short sleeves so the difference is not much.

Scars are a lot more acceptable these days, like tattoos have become, there is scarification art, branding, tribal designs, and the emo motif. Obviously SH scars are less decorative, but there is less of a taboo surrounding them..hell, maybe they will become fashionable! IME you can have the most blatant scars, but only close friends will ask about them. Then, in a work setting, it might still be distracting or unprofessional to display them, depending on the job.

There is make up that can cover scars, maybe that is your solution during the warm weather? www.changingfaces.org.uk/skin-camouflage/products

Temporary I have quite freckly and pale skin so most make up would just show up really obviously. I've considered it but I'd have to cover literally my entire arm and I think it would be even more obvious unfortunately.

With children completely fair - I've volunteeed in a school and always covered them there. I don't cover them in front of children I know in my personal life, but if they ask about them I say 'I had an accident when I was young and got scars' rather than anything about them being self inflicted.