to want a week where nothing goes wrong??

[AnAngelWithin]

i'm just fed up I guess and really need to vent. Things have been so hard the past 12 months. The only good thing to come out of this time is the birth of DD2. We have had 2 close family deaths, bankruptcy, redundancy, council screwing us over for housing benefit the reckoned we owed them from may LAST YEAR. Plus all the day to day stuff of shit being thrown at us. The kids are bloody hard work, I am scraping together money left right and centre for the bills. DH and I are on the verge of splitting up to the point we have contacted solicitors. He reckons we should go to counselling but apart from anything else I just don't have the energy. I have too much to do in the day and I just can't keep up with it all. I have no social life. If I go out for a day into town etc, I am paying for it the next day with the pile of washing etc I have neglected. DD2 just cries all day. DS2 will barely eat anything despite my best efforts. DD1 us a complete nightmare and just whinges all the time and screams and kicks everyone. DH has recently got a new job so we have got the hassle of sorting out all the benefits and tax credits out again. He works 6 days a week. When he is at home on a sunday, I just want to get out the house for an hour on my own but he can't see that. He thinks we need to spend every waking moment together if we are going to make our relationship work. No matter how long I spend cleaning etc, there is always something else to be done. I am tired beyond belief even though the children all go to bed at 7 and sleep through. DH will come home tonight and attempt to help but he doesn't really. His great aunty is now in hospital with a fractured hip and his aunty has got to go for a CT scan to find out what the mass is that they have found on her lung

I just want a week where nothing goes wrong. I'm not asking for the world am i?? I don't want a holiday or anything thrown in my lap, just a normal week, where I can get to the end of the week and think...'yep ok...that was an ok week'

AAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHH!!!

sorry

I think you need to see your GP and tell him/her all this. The relentless tiredness sounds to me (completely unqualified) like depression, and the sooner you deal with that the better. One thing, though - with all you've had to deal with (which sounds horrendous beyond belief), the cleanliness of the house and the washing does not have to be high on your list of priorities - as long as the house is not actually a health hazard, it's more important that you spend the time you do have trying to relax - either enjoying the kids, watching rubbish daytime TV, on MN or whatever. It sounds like the kids are a nightmare because you are so stressed, and dealing with that has to come first. And accept that there is never, ever going to be a normal week - but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. You sound like you're being very hard on yourself - you've had a shit time and if you're struggling to cope that's completely understandable.

have been to docs and been on ADs for a while now.

Then I don't know what to say - except that maybe they aren't working? I'll be thinking of you - I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away for you. Talk to DH - or show him your OP - he needs to realise how much you need a bit of time on your own. I'm sorry - I feel crap that I can't be more constructive.

you are n0ot asking for the world, but tbh why dont you focus on an ok day to start with, rather than a whole week.

Or even an ok hour??? Might help to make the rest of the day seem that bit better?

How old are the children?

poor you. You do sound very stressed.

i was going to go out today but i have so much to do at home. i would leave it but it would make me feel worse when i get back. my kids ages range from 1 to 8. I know in the grand scheme of things my days are nowhere near as bad as misdees or other MNers, but to me its bad enough.

sounds like you could do with a day just for you to relax - could you ask your dh for this on sunday?

for the cleaning could you have a day when the kids wear the same clothes as yesterday?

bump for angel

think i'm just going to crack on with the ironing today. Try and get that done. Thats my mission for today I guess! ds is sat watching the telly and dd is crawling round looking as though shes getting a bit tired so might put her in bed and crack on. The trouble is feeling as though I neglect kids to do housework. I don't know how people manage to have a tidy house and still manage to do fun things with the kids!

btw ds doesnt watch telly that often thats why he is glued to it! hes not a couch potato!

my house isn't pristine but it's old and the floors are wood & old tiles and don't show the dirt!! I keep the kitchen & bathroomsclean but don't clear up the kids rooms everyday - plus they wear the same clothes to cut down on the washing and ironing. Always admire mums with clean organized homes & kids who was their faces!

best wishes xxx

Hey Angel, how was your day today? What else did you do apart from the ironing?

I have to say I was a bit concerned you're planning to stay at home all day, given how stressed out you are. That would drive me mad in itself. Even if it's just an hour to the park with the baby - bit of fresh air and a change of scene - especially today - it's been gorgeous!

angel - was your day ok? I have to take my kids to & from school so have to be getting fresh air!

If it makes you feel any better AAW My life has been pants too! (not looking for sympathy btw, just stating you are not alone)I found out I had cancer when I was 5 months pregnant. My mil died of cancer not long after that. I have been going through reconstructive surgery for 2 years now (and counting)Cant leave the house because of it. My mum is going through a nervous break down, We rent, not entitled to benefits, Not entitled to council house, have awful credit rating, cant get a mortgage. Skint to the extent we had to scrape 5ps together the other day for milk and bread. Kitten got run over last week and had to be put to sleep. Forever cleaning the bloody house! I do have a well behaved daughter though (just 1 child) and a fab hubby so that helps me get through.
Your not on your own honey, life just sucks sometimes doesnt it! Can you not put your younger children into part time nursery to give you a couple of hours to be on your own and breath? I do that and it helps me a lot. Your hubby needs to put more of an effort in. Maybe arrange one eve a week to go round a mates house, have a glass or 2 of wine and a chin wag? Im sure your hubby could cope with that!?

hello!!! I managed to get all the ironing done. It took me 3 hours though. Have been up all night being sick now. I tried to ring MIL to take the children to school but she didn't answer so I have trudged down there. Have got really bad tummy cramps. Am having a lazy morning on the sofa with ds watching dvds while dd is asleep. Might go out to the bank later if I feel up to it. I prefer to stay in though. Its easier!

Up all night being sick??!!! Oh dear, you really are having a bad time. A lazy morning watching dvds sounds nice though. And tonnes better than 3 hours of ironing! (I don't iron ) Do come back if you need to let off steam again, or just have a chat.