Train home

[CuppaTeaTeddy]

On the train home. It was busy and loads of people got on at my stop. All seats ended up taken and I was one of the last on.

I stood up in the carriage and walked up and down to see if there was anywhere spare for me to sit. There wasn't.

I then asked a young boy (about 17/18) who was sat In a single seat (with a sticker above which was about giving the seat up for pregnant/elderly) if he would mind standing. He stunk of weed and looked high, rather than have a disability. He asked where I was going to, which I told him, and he then said he wouldn't give up the seat because I was getting off at the next stop anyway so it's pointless.

I don't usually mind standing as my journey is only 15 mins but I was tired and had bags to carry. AIBU to expect him to move?

Hmm a tricky one, yes he had no reason to be there, but equally apart from being tired you didn't really have a reason to have the seat either, yes it might have been courteous but I don't think either of you were particularly entitled to it

...I walked off after he said this and went back to the door area to stand.

Are you pregnant, elderly or disabled?

maybe if you hadn't so many shopping bags you'd have been a bit quicker to one of the seats....are you pregnant or elderly?

Forgot to mention, I'm 29 weeks pregnant. Should have put that in the OP.

Oh I see, in that case yes he was unreasonable and you should have had the seat

In which case YANBU

Are you pregnant or elderly?

If not then he wasn't being U not to move, yes it would have been polite of him to do but nothing to make a fuss about.

I was going to say YWBU but obviously not now! Poor you - did you actually tell him you were pregnant though?

Sorry xpost, he was rude then.

Yes you were UR to expect him to move just because you asked unless you are obviously elderly or pregnant or disabled. If he was high then he may have been feeling ill or head spinney so better to sit.

Sorry for not explaining properly. Thought I put it in the OP until i re-read.

Didn't actually say to him I was pregnant but it's obvious. Have a big bump now and was wearing a tight top. Didn't want to make a fuss out of it, just thought it was off.

Oh xpost! He probably should have moved. But we also don't know what he had going on either.

What a little twerp. Let's hope he needs a seat badly one day and meets a fucker like him.

Was there a conductor you could ask? It doesn't sound like he has a disability as he used the excuse of your one stop journey to not give you the seat, rather than an explanation that he was disabled.

If it is obvious you are pregnant and he wasn't disabled (which you can't be sure about) he should have moved.

I think you should have asked a general question, not asked someone specific. You have no way to know if he needs a seat or not, weed or no weed.

I took the train back home with my DH one night, I was heavily and obviously pregnant. I stand up, he sat down. He got a few "tut" from other standing passengers, but he was recovering from surgery and being bounced around was excruciating for him, whilst I was absolutely fine. (no seated passengers offered me a seat either )

I don't like asking a specific person for a seat, you never know they might need it more than you do, or they might be rude and insult you according to various threads on this forum. Bus passengers seem awful!

YANBU. If he had an invisible disability he could have said so, but he made a crappy excuse. Did nobody else offer you a seat?

I'm not saying he definitely didn't have a disability, if he did then fair play to him for not moving. But it just seemed rude and his excuse was pathetic. I probably could have spoke to the conductor or someone but didn't seem the hassle as I was 'getting off at the next stop' haha

Happens a lot on the Tube. You do have to be firm. I'm sure if you'd insisted he would have eventually given it to you.

You have no idea whether or not he had a disability. Did you ask anyone else to move, or just the young person who smelled of weed?

You should have mentioned you are pregnant.

It might be obvious to you, but not necessarily to everyone else.

There was no reason for you not to point out you're pregnant and then politely point to the sign.

Of course he should have moved. No brainer. I regularly sit in priority seats (am actually in one now!) but always make sure I am aware of people getting on and off so that I can offer the seat of appropriate. It's part of the deal when you sit there.

I work in London and commute from the Home Counties. Despite the south east's reputation for unfriendliness, when I was pregnant I was offered a seat graciously every time I needed one. Maybe I was just lucky (or very big...!).

so do you offer the seat to anyone Sandsnake? How can you guess if someone has a hidden disability or not?

Let's not even mention pregnancy, I would never comment about a woman's pregnancy unless the head is popping out, it's too risky

Did you specifically say As I am pregnant can I please have this seat and point to the sticker because (whether he smoked weed or not) maybe he didn't realise you were pregnant or that he was in a designated seat?

I suspect you might not have otherwise someone else would have probably offered if he was still refusing in those circumstances.

Next time maybe just be a bit more clear and assertive.

No Salmon but would offer obviously pregnant / physical disabled people and would fret endlessly about whether or not to for an elderly person or whether it would be interpreted as rude... Of course if anyone asked me for a priority seat (or any seat for that matter) I'd be up in an instant!