WIBU to lie about my due date?

[Fruu]

My first baby was 19 days overdue and eventually arrived via induction / EMCS.

For the last month and a half of pregnancy there were several members of mine and my partner's family who were phoning me once or twice a day every day to nag me for updates. I have anxiety issues anyway and it did not help at all having constant conversations about how many days overdue I was and whether I'd tried curry/pineapple/everything else under the sun. MIL and my dad were even nagging my partner and occasionally me from my due date about what date I would be going in for induction!

It got so bad I started preemptively emailing a daily "no news" update to both families and nosy friends because I was ending up in tears or having panic attacks after the phone calls, in the hope that they'd then not phone us. Not answering the phone is not really an option - some of the family would phone repeatedly, try landlines and work phones or turn up at our door / start phoning the neighbours or our friends and rope them into asking us to phone back.

I'm pregnant again and under no circumstances want to put up with that this time! I've told everyone the baby is due "halfway through X month" rather than the actual, earlier due date. I've also explained as tactfully and gently as possible how much stress I was put under last time and that it's nothing personal and nobody is being given the exact date.

MIL is livid that I won't give her the exact date and was ranting on the phone to my partner a couple of days ago and trying to get the information out of him. Yesterday she made plans for a big family get together (which I'd suggested in the first place) and deliberately excluded us. It's quite obviously not a coincidence.

My dad keeps asking when my last period started and when I'm going to have the dating ultrasound even though I've told him several times now that the most specific I'm willing to be is "halfway through X month". He doesn't seem to understand that I don't WANT to tell him.

All I really want to do is go NC with both our families for the next few months and hide in a cupboard where they can't harass me, but that's not really practical! I've already told my partner that he's fielding all relatives this time if they get difficult and it starts impacting on my mental health.

WIBU to make up a fake due date to shut them up? I'm a bit worried it could backfire when the truth comes out later!

[TheLegendOfBeans]

FOR GODS SAKE ADD THREE WEEKS TO YOUR DUE DATE

normally I'd have said two weeks but as

• your first was 19 days over
  
• your family sound borderline insane
  

you need to do what you can to stay sane.

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

Tell them you're due two months after you actually are. Say you got it wrong...Ooops!

That should give you 2 months breathing space....

Alternatively, turn off your phones. Get new phones with new sim cards and new phone numbers and don't give the new numbers to your family. That way you can stay in touch with the people you want to and they can't hassle you.

Congrats by the way, and good luck!

[justkeepswimmingg]

How awful OP. Yes make up a date! I'd say the date exactly two weeks later than the due date. Let them think they know so they stop the nagging, and hit them with the truth after baby has arrived!

[harderandharder2breathe]

They are batshit crazy!

Tell them a date a good month later than the real one, although I'd be tempted not to tell them at all and play offended if they comment but if your father is asking about your period (dear god he needs to learn some boundaries! Wtaf?!? Who except your husband and midwife need to know that?!) it sounds like it's too late

[Maxandrubyrubyandmax]

Tell them a date 3 weeks after your actual due date. After the birth send your dad a used tampon every month so he can keep track. He really needs to get a hang of boundaries!

[ollieplimsoles]

Added to that was it was a planned homebirth and people seemed desperate for me to go so far over that the home birth wouldn't be possible?

This was exactly my experience ! particularly mil made no effort to hide the fact she hoped a home birth wouldn't happen.
I lied about my due date, my actual date was close to mils birthday and I didn't want her hijacking it and making it all about her.

[Caterina99]

Just give them a fake date. You can always say it got changed at the most recent scan

[breadwidow]

Yes to giving a fake date if they are that insistent.

My eldest was 17 days overdue and though my family were not half as bad as totes friends were annoying. The constant text got my anxiety going. That and the hormones led to a massive melt down one day. At about 15 days over I sent out a mass text asking people to leave me alone!

Second time round friends were less interested and I was much more vague re the date.

Incidentally, the midwife who ran the ante natal classes I went to before the eldest was born strongly recommended giving a fake date around a fortnight post the real one to reduce to anxiety

[Jakeyboy1]

Wow can't believe you went 19 days over! Are you in Solihull? That is the only place I know that lets you go 3 weeks most places are two.

Don't get so stressed about it. People are just excited (and yes annoying) but just ignore them. Keep yourself busy and don't be so available to tell them.

[FataliePorkman]

I feel your pain OP. Ex MIL did this when I was expecting DTs. For last few weeks she must of texted me every hour on the hour.

When I was pregnant with DD I got ex P to have a word with her. She wasn't happy but I got some peace and quiet!

[Crunchymum]

In seen you had an emcs last time, will you have an elcs this time or try for vbac?

If it is the former then good luck hiding you section date from your family with no boundaries!!!