Am I a total pillock?

[Agerbilatemycardigan]

I suspect that the answer to that would be yes.

Wanted to spray something gold yesterday, but the button on the top of the aerosol can was broken so I decided to remove it.

This is when I learned that using a Stanley knife on a spray can is a really bad idea. I ended up looking like a crappy Jackson Pollock version of the woman in Goldfinger and my kitchen now looks like King Midas has had a bout of explosive diarrhoea in it.

On the plus side, my wok now looks super shiny and my hair got free highlights

Please tell me I'm not beyond hope..

Yep. Total pillock!

Yes but to be fair this is also something I would do

I thought so ButtonBoo

Thanks for confirming it

I salute you for your honesty Rivers

But a shiny pillock

Could have been worse......green, grey or brown spots (mould, leprosy or shite). At least your rash looks shiny and you might start a new trend for 'gold-leaf look'.
Any turps or white spirit in the shed?

You're a Pollock, not a pillock

I'm a Pollock pillock flora A walking work of art.

I now smell of eau du turps Faded which explains why people would rather stand than sit next to me on the bus earlier