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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to take in neighbour's packages!

72 replies

DisgruntledGoat · 26/04/2017 10:33

Neighbours moved in a few months ago. Since then I've taken in at least half a dozen packages for them because they seem to be rarely at home. I don't mind taking in neighbour's packages but these new neighbours are rubbish at collecting them. I've had the current one since Saturday morning. The previous one which was about 2 weeks ago also sat there for several days before it was collected. It's been the same since the start. With the first one that came shortly after they moved in I thought the delivery guy hadn't put a card through their door so when they didn't pick it up I kept going round but there was never anyone in. Eventually I saw him walking down the road while I was in my car and I'd just tried to deliver it again so I had it with me. I flagged him down by honking my horn and waving my arms like an idiot, rolled down window and handed it to him to which he said, "oh yeah, I meant to pick that up". I just feel it's a bit disrespectful to know your neighbour has taken in your deliveries but to not bother to pick them up until you can be arsed to. I know someone was home on Sunday as I drove past him as he was playing outside his house with his kids - he actually waved as i drove by to my house but he still didn't come and collect it! My AIBU is should I stop taking in their packages? Or is that really bitchy un-neighbourly?

OP posts:
DeleteOrDecay · 26/04/2017 11:03

Id be tempted to leave the parcels on their doorstep then feign ignorance if they ask you about it.

Or maybe put a sign on your door saying you won't accept deliveries on behalf of neighbours if you struggle to say no.

DeadGood · 26/04/2017 11:03

YABU for doing this and feeling hard done by. I actually dislike it when neighbours take parcels in for me. I'd rather the courier tried again for redelivery (to my address), or left a card so I can go to the sorting office myself.
I don't like feeling obligated to my neighbours, and I don't like my stuff being held by them so I have to follow their schedule so I can pick it up.
You feel like you are doing these people a favour, when actually it doesn't sound like they want this from you.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 26/04/2017 11:03

Nope.

Grow a backbone and stop doing it. You are not your neighbours sorting office. The occasional package is okay but regular ones are taking the piss.

IloveBanff · 26/04/2017 11:04

How ridiculous to write this thread and then take two more packages for them!

cdtaylornats · 26/04/2017 11:05

I take in parcels for several neighbours - because I am in most. It isn't a hassle and I like being a good neighbour.

knackeredinyorkshire · 26/04/2017 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DisgruntledGoat · 26/04/2017 11:07

I didn't take in 2 more Banff, just one more. Maybe you should have read the thread properly before commenting

OP posts:
2014newme · 26/04/2017 11:09

Banff point though op is that you are choosing to carry on taking in parcels. you could choose not to.

millifiori · 26/04/2017 11:10

Say no. We regularly take packages for neighbours across the road, who have made no effort to be polite or friendly and seem to think we're the staff. They just come and collect them. No thank yous or small talk just expectation that the servants will hand them over. One day I'll have the nerve to say no.

IloveBanff · 26/04/2017 11:11

One more is just as ridiculous. ANY more is ridiculous.

Original poster
DisgruntledGoat · 26/04/2017 11:11

My parcels rarely go to neighbours as I wfh so I'm around a lot. Think that's why delivery people come to me so much and also the shape of the road means my house is the next house that make sense even though they're not ndn.

I think that's it lornats. I want to be a good neighbour and it wasn't a problem til these new neighbour's moved in.

OP posts:
DeleteOrDecay · 26/04/2017 11:12

Refusing to take parcels doesn't make you a bad neighbour.

NeverDidit · 26/04/2017 11:15

🤷🏻‍♀️😂. Lol about starting this thread then taking in more parcels.

Kobieta · 26/04/2017 11:17

Why not tell them that you will not be taking any more parcels in for them as long as you have an uncollected one. Obviously if two (or more) in the same day, no problem, but they need to pick them up from you the same day (or the next at the very latest) - otherwise you'll just refuse to take any more until you have the space - i.e. when they've picked up the previous deliveries.

This makes perfect sense to me - hope you can see what I mean.

PaulDacresFeministConscience · 26/04/2017 11:19

My lovely neighbours often take stuff in for me, as I am in and out of the house at odd times - which makes booking deliveries difficult. However I am always very grateful, always say thank you and I have an agreement with them that they leave my stuff tucked away out of sight in their vestibule, so that I can go and pick it up myself without having to disturb them. If it's a large item then I either arrange to collect it in person or I'll book a day off to be at home.

If you have a cupboard or a garage, then stick the parcels in there so they aren't in your hallway annoying you - and simply wait for the neighbours to come and collect them. If they don't bother then I wouldn't chase them; it's up to them to come and get their stuff, you aren't a courier! It's taking the piss not being prompt in picking stuff up when someone has been kind enough to take your delivery in for you.

In the future if a courier says that it's for No. X then be polite and say "I'm sorry but I can't take the delivery because they never come and collect it from me and I don't have room to store their items indefinitely".

Original poster
DisgruntledGoat · 26/04/2017 11:20

There didn't seem much point in refusing to take another parcel when I already have one they have to collect?! If they're coming for one they might as well come here for both. I can use it as another reason to not take their parcels in anymore anyway.

OP posts:
Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 26/04/2017 11:20

When I moved house last year((separated and due to circumstances left with almost nothing)I had numerous parcels delivered.I was available for most but inevitably some were left with neighbours.
My neighbours were all lovely about it and we learnt each others names etc.I met about 6 neighbours this way and gavey immediate neighbour a bottle of wine.I don't think I annoyed them,they still speak and some even gave me cards.This was for the first month or so,,so I expect this will be temporary for you too.

user1493035447 · 26/04/2017 11:21

If you didn't sign for it I'd just keep it. If neighbour doesn't ask for it within a month, consider it yours to keep or sell on ebay.

nannybeach · 26/04/2017 11:24

Where we used to live, each side of the road had a different name, (we actually had a name for our house) but postmen delivery drivers would come to ME, I would point them at the correct address, stupidly, by Royal Mail it was only one house past being completely opposite, we used to walk round with the parcels, they would snatch them out of our hand and not even say thank you. So I started refusing, the drivers were really annoyed and thought i was very unreasonable, in the end I told them i didnt get on with these people.

pistachioandhoney · 26/04/2017 11:28

I order loads of stuff online and I was conscious of annoying my neighbours. I have put a large plastic box with a lid outside my front door with a note about leaving deliveries in it. Since then I haven't had anything delivered to my neighbours. Most Amazon packages (which is what they look like) don't need a signature.

Original poster
DisgruntledGoat · 26/04/2017 11:29

It's all a bit awkward as we live on a very small development so if I refuse to take their packages in and they get wind of it and then something of mine goes to their house I'll feel very awkward indeed!

OP posts:
Peanutbutterrules · 26/04/2017 11:34

I feel your pain OP - I'm going next door now to leave a note asking neighbours to pick up the rather large package I took in. For all I know they've missed the delivery note and are wondering where it is.

Round here we all take each others parcels but its only polite to pick them up quickly. I'd have a word along the lines of 'happy to take them in but please pick them up the same day'. If they don't, that's fine, you can be relaxed about refusing.

2014newme · 26/04/2017 11:36

If something of yours goes to their house they can say no. Same as you can. I wfh too. In a paid job not as an unpaid parcel deliverer. I say no to the deliverers. I used to say yes but an abundance of large parcels and the effort to pass them on, now I just say no.
It's not awkward as I hardly see my neighbour who has,all the parcels and I don't care what they think anyway.

Tobolsk · 26/04/2017 11:37

It's difficult in the UK I was always weary of taking parcels for neighbors.

Since we moved to the US we now live in a very safe area and never lock our door. Our postman will leave parcels on our kitchen table if we are out.

Easytobuild · 26/04/2017 11:39

I felt a bit like this the other week you say yes without thinking/asking "how big?" it wasnt until he got to the door did I realise how big the box was from the other angle lol it was a huge combi microwave in a box twice the size they didnt pick it up for 3 days I tried going round everyday (they were in and out thought all 3 days) because it was constantly in the way.

The depot here is a 30min round trip without traffic and there is always traffic, with no where to park and the queue is often out of the door so expect to be there for 20-30 mins on top of drive time so the whole thing can take way over an hour to collect a parcel. I hate the inconvenience myself and with kids it's an absolute nightmare.

So for that reason I say yes in the hope someone can return the favour. Redelivery usually says cannot be done within 48 hours after they have been the first time so its a pain if you need it fast.

Its sods law you wait in most of the day and it comes within the 10-20mins where you have to nip out!

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