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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I wish someone would invent

53 replies

JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 07:06

A cord for an iron that doesn't get itself into a snakey mess no matter how carefully you store it. I store it carefully, but other family members do not and THIS is the reality for a lot of people, in my house it is the person with the vagina that gets to sort out the Gordian knot every fucking time. If more people with penises ironed on a regular basis, I reckon they would have invented a cord that looks like an old school telephone cord that you could take off the iron and put in a box separately or something, anything. AIBU? Or am I doing the storage wrong and some domestic goddess will come along and tell me that Dyson already do one or something and I should get out more or have a fucking biscuit or something.

I have to untwist the cord thing every time I use it, and if I can't be arsed to do that, I find myself standing about 1 foot from the plug with a nest of cord that catches on the iron holder and the ironing board so low down its as if a toddler were attempting to iron a shirt, if a toddler were capable of screaming MOTHERFUCKER! every time it happens.

It puts me in mind of that old Vic Reeves thing where the club owner has a key around his neck on a short chain and has to crouch down to unlock the door. That's me ironing.

OP posts:
JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 08:26

Oh man, the Faraway Tree was the best book ever. I wanted to live there with Moonface for all time.

OP posts:
Applebite · 26/04/2017 08:53

I know - but I bought it for my niece recently and howled in outrage. Jo, Bessie and fanny are now Joe, Beth and Frannie???

Which dickwipe of an editor thought that was a good idea? If Enid blyton had wanted to call them Joe, Beth and Frannie, she would have called them Joe, Beth and Frannie! argh.

phoenix1973 · 26/04/2017 08:56

The reason those with penii don't iron is because those with vaginas do it.
Stop doing it and let the penii owners figure it out.

dudsville · 26/04/2017 09:00

I think we've all learned something here. And the 1st 3 posts of this thread are the best I've read.

FlaviaAlbia · 26/04/2017 09:05

Chin up, now you have a DS you can make pointed remarks to your MIL about teaching him to take care of himself and do normal household tasks so he's not waiting helplessly for a wife to iron for him...

BusterGonad · 26/04/2017 09:19

Annie 😂 I wasn't sure! I don't iron at all but I'll look into the majestic shop steaming device!

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 26/04/2017 10:02

OP this has really made me laugh - it's so good when things have a really simple answer.

I also want wings - like the ones in Artemis Fowl, so you don't need to use your own energy.

JudeeLevinson · 26/04/2017 10:05

I don't do it for DH and he doesn't do it because he doesn't care and never has, but MIL doesn't see it that way, even though he has been like it for 4 decades. Put it this way, if a tree falls in a forest and there's nobody there to see it, is it still Judee's fault?

Yes, yes it is.

Joe, Beth and Frannie?
WTAF. Enid should come undiluted, with the lashings of racism and potholders, whatever they are.

OP posts:
caz323 · 26/04/2017 10:44

Judee this thread is a treat to read. And you have a wonderful way with words! Am def going to remember 'spawn of a thousand slags' - brilliant! Grin

Enjoy your new iron.

TheNoodlesIncident · 26/04/2017 11:06

I got my iron and ironing board out and both ds AND the cat recoiled in fear at the unknown

DS is eight Blush

I think I love you a bit OP

floraeasy · 26/04/2017 11:08

No-one ever irons in this household. Lazy lot, we are!

If I ever get other stuff knotted up - from necklaces to headphone cords - my DH fixes it. He has tough nails and lots of patience - qualities I don't possess!

Applebite · 26/04/2017 11:10

My friend has a saying: "if it needs ironing, it doesn't get worn"

NoCapes · 26/04/2017 11:13

Judee I think I love you Grin

B1rdonawire · 26/04/2017 11:13

I got the iron and ironing board out the other day.
DD: Oo, what's THAT mummy, what does it do?

She is 6. Based on her observed life experiences in this house, it was a reasonable question Grin

I only got it out to melt some hama beads for her. One day I'll explain it potentially also does clothes...

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 26/04/2017 11:23

I started sewing and have now found a use for my iron other than it's previous use as something that sat in the cupboard whilst hama beads went fucking everywhere unironed on my kitchen worktop.

My MIL is the same. My own mother is used to my slatternly ways but I'm fairly sure MIL doesn't think I'm looking after her son properly because I don't iron his underwear or the towels.

floraeasy · 26/04/2017 11:28

B1rdonawire Grin

silkpyjamasallday · 26/04/2017 11:30

I don't currently own an iron so I don't think it's you who needs to be embarrassed OP Blush now I know of the existence of cordless I will be making a purchase! I was worrying that DD would pull a cord and it would fall on her (couldn't happen as I watch her like a hawk 24/7 but doesn't stop me worrying) DP no longer works in a job that requires smart clothes so I left our shitty old iron in our old flat when we left. Most stuff comes out of the tumble drier uncreased so I just fold and put away immediately. But sometimes an iron would be useful I suppose Grin

Snotgobbler99 · 26/04/2017 12:03

Why do you think you need a penis to do any inventing?

I like to think I've been quite inventive with mine. I'm also pretty handy with an iron, but I try to avoid using both at the same time.

FizzyGreenWater · 26/04/2017 12:27

What an ace thread, you post and within literally minutes your life has been transformed Grin

A friend was about to scoff at me the other day re ironing:

Me - '...and hate that the ironing board has to go there and be in the way blah...'
F - 'You IRON? Pah! I don't even have one blah blah how utterly drudgey...'
Me - 'Hama beads.'
F - 'Oh I see.'

Grin
FizzyGreenWater · 26/04/2017 12:28

Apparently you can also get penises now that don't need to be plugged in.

Smile
ErrolTheDragon · 26/04/2017 12:47

Apparently you can also get penises now that don't need to be plugged in

Really? Whatever are they for?Confused oh, long walks for the weak of bladder, I suppose?

MatildaTheCat · 26/04/2017 12:53

I don't mind a bit of ironing.

I want a pause button on the radio. So annoying to listen to something interesting in the car and arrive before said item has finished.

Janeinthemiddle · 26/04/2017 12:59

Funny, I've never had my iron cord tangled.

Watch me I've just jinxed myself lol

WashBasketsAreUs · 26/04/2017 13:26

I got my ironing board out, only cos I've run out of work uniform, and was investigating this hole in the stand bit to drop the cord through? My ironing board is so bloody old it doesn't have said hole, is this a recent thing?
Before I had a uniform to iron, I used to count how many times I got the iron out in a year, best year was 3 times! I loaned my iron to my mum once, she had it 8 months before I needed it back.

Snotgobbler99 · 26/04/2017 13:29

Apparently you can also get penises now that don't need to be plugged in.

Yeah, yeah. It just wants to be your best friend...