Refusing to visit DH's B & SIL ever again???

[Twinkie1]

Finally went round their house this weekend after putting it off because I don't like her (she has an allergy and literally it is all she ever talks about - she is just me me me me me) and because MIL said her house wasn't very clean (and MIL never says anything bad about anyone!!) - well it was like something from Kim & Aggie's programme!!

They have a bush by the front door that the cats sleep in!! You can imagine the smell - I didn't even want to walk into the house let alone have to stand waiting for them to open the door smelling cat piss!! Then when we went in it was appalling - I have to say that I have only seen houses quite so dirty on How Clean is Your House!!

The other side fo the door smelt as bad as outside - they had a cat scratching post and numerous other cat things just insode the door and after that I really couldn't tell you what was in each room or what each room was used for because I literally had to wade through dirty clothes, cat paraphanalia and papers and boxes everywhere. They have lived in the house for over 6 months and was blaming the filth on the previous owners - but really it was the dirtiest house I have ever ever in my life been into - I said to DH if we were viewing houses I would have taken one look at the outside and walked off without going in asnd if I had gone in I wouldn't have got past the hallway!!

Now I have said to DH that I will not be going back - I am a bit funny about cleaning anyway - I do it too much!! but they have said that they are planning a big celebration round there at Xmas for DHs mums B'day - I cannot even imagine what must be lurking in the refridgerator let alone on their cutlery and crockery - DH thinks I am being a bit over dramatic and says that I should make an effort and maybe just not eat anything that isn't pre packed (what like the stuff I take in my lunch box!!) and if I take some anti histamines I should be fine.

I feel like crying - I have only just stopped scratching after Saturday and now I have to psyche myself up to go through it all again in another 6 months!!

god i know EXACTLY what you mean! i don't think you are being unreasonable, you admit your own standards are high but im sure if it was just a little messy/untidy you would'nt be bothered. its the smells and obvious filth that turn your stomach is'nt it? my mil lives like this and i feel sad to say i never visit her, if i do i don't go inside the house! also, my sil is going the same way as her, its weird. it all boils down to the fact that to these people, housework is unimportant in the grandscheme of things.in a way, i suppose they're right,but when it comes to bringing kids up in a nice home enviroment, you've got to have the basics..clean clothes and sheets on the beds, clean bathroomand toilet areas and clean kitchen/cooking areas. i ca'nt imagine what sort of person would be happy to eat their lunchtime butties next to a cat litter tray full of stinking cat sh#t,but these people exist don't they!

Twink, you need to develop a cat allergy - fast.

And talk about it a lot.

Twink, almost all of my in-laws live in filth, I do my upmost not to have to go in their houses, (easy now DH1 and i are separated).
I think your DH will have to except that you will not go back.
When my DC got back from a visit to MIL last year i had to wash every thing twice to get the cat pee smell off. I have cats and my home does not smell, there s no excuse apart from being lazy. When DH1 family ate a meal they used to put the plate on the floor for the dogs and cats to lick (vomit emotioncon)

There is no way I would go back, I can't bear dirty houses, hotels or anything like that. I would refuse to go. And there is no way I would let DC's go. I can't bear to go to Hotels because they thought of walking in the room and it being dirty freaks me out. EWW and to sleep in a bed where hundreds of other have been ahhggg. We go camping - my sleeping bag my pillow and my airbed! But then I may be on the extreme end of the scale.!

From the antihistamine reference I am wondering if it is in fact infested with fleas?
I am far from houseproud myself but if there are fleas I don't think you're being unreasonable.

How can you all have messy but clean houses? If my house is messy it is dirty too. How can you clean under the mess? maybe I am odd, but my house is usually tidier than it is clean.

Bozza - we deep clean from time to time but most days there are lots of books and papers scattered about.
Some people never leave dirty clothes on the floor [impressed emoticon]

I hardly ever deep clean. But surface clean regularly.

I guess if you surface clean regularly enough you will greatly reduce the amount of deep cleaning needed

I used to find that if I hoovered twice a week I didn't need to dust. That was a short-lived phase though.

My mil took a cat off of the kitchen table then put bread on it to butter to make my children sandwiches, needless to say we left and brought them some lunch on the way home.

Ditto Bozza

I have never understood the 'clean but messy' line. To clean I have to tidy, but I don't have to clean the place in order to tidy it- hence my flat is often tidyish but not really clean.

Lazycow - a clean but messy person might, for instance, throw everything from the floor onto the sofa to hoover and move the sofa and clean behind and under it, then when the floor's clean, throw everything back onto the floor again.
Whereas a tidy but dirty person would put everything away properly rather than throw it onto the sofa, but might not bother moving the sofa to clean behind it.

To be honest though when some of us say we are clean but messy we are just making excuses and are in fact not that clean really

That makes me a tidy but dirty person then.

I do sympathise because I have had to clean up a few houses after stable girls have vacated them, and could not believe the filth. The house we currently live in was previously occupied by 3 stable girls, two dogs and a cat and was so nasty that I cried when I looked around it, knowing I was going to have to move in there (and I am no softie or neat freak).

I know what you mean when you describe how you feel the filth has permeated you - when you keep scratching, but sometimes you just have to grin and bear it -it's only a visit and you don't have to stay long. Besides, presumably it won't be in such a state if they do have a party there. You don't have to be houseproud to not want people to see how disgusting your house is, and surely she wouldn't invite people around in the state it is in currently? Don't stress about it though - at least you don't have to live there.

Oh, Kimi, you wouldn't like it in my house!

The cats have come to expect that they will get to lick all plates and snaffle any odd bits that we leave once we've finished. They are highly disgruntled if there's nothing left for them!

The plates then go straight into the dishwasher, which washes at 60-odd degrees so I don't see what the big deal is...

Lovecat I am with you there - my cats always lick the scraps off the plates

I am a messy but clean person - I tidy once a week before the cleaner comes but the next day the kids have got all their toys out again so it is untidy until I tidy again for the following week ...

BTW I do clean once a week - I am not that dirty.

I would think she would have to put a bit of an effort just so people can fit in the house, if it so untidy. And once it is tidied up a bit it should be easier to clean. I know a lot of you are saying that you are untidy but clean, but from twinkie's OP where she says it was so untidy you couldn't tell what each room was used for I think the house is just too badly messy to be able to clean.

oh I hate grubby houses too. I would still go but would perch on the edge of furniture

ZOMBIE THREAD. 15 YEARS OLD!

@xxAbbieC why are you resurrecting 15 year old threads, where are you finding them!?

@xxAbbieC This is at least 2 threads from 2007 that you have revived.
I guess you're having SIL issues and have searched and found these, but maybe check out the date before replying?

Poor @xxAbbieC is a confused time traveller from 2007. So much has changed love, I'd sit down if I were you..

I do sympathise because I have had to clean up a few houses after stable girls have vacated them, and could not believe the filth. The house we currently live in was previously occupied by 3 stable girls, two dogs and a cat and was so nasty that I cried when I looked around it

I know this is a zombie thread, but was very amused by this! What is it about ‘stable girls’, I wonder?

I don’t think your being dramatic, I’ve been in houses like this, a friends parents when I was younger, I couldn’t believe it her parents were all prim and proper, very “posh” would eat out most nights drinking fine wine and only eating the best food, but their house was absolutely vile. I remember my friend moving into a shared house and them making a big fuss about making sure the house was appropriate for their baby girl, we all just looked at each other thinking at least we know she will now be living somewhere clean.

Also had a family member like this, my DF and uncle had to put in a new bathroom for her, they actually vomited when replacing the toilet, they could not believe their sister lived like that given how they were brought up.

I would never go back, I don’t care what my DH says, the cat piss alone would be a no from me and I’m saying that as someone who is certainly not a clean freak, I like a clean house obviously but I’m happy to let a bit of dust and dirt accumulate before I feel the need to clean.