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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little bit proud of myself

32 replies

TellMeItsNotTrue · 25/04/2017 10:18

I had to be somewhere in London this morning and to make it in time involved getting on tube in rush hour. Normally I try to avoid the tube because I'm somewhat claustrophobic and I struggle with having to do quite a bit of walking to get down to the tube, today though I just wouldn't have been where I needed to be if I tried to get a taxi or a bus

So the tube arrives already full and more people get on, no point waiting for another because it's rush hour and the platform fills up as fast at the tubes can come, so I had to get on. I actually asked out loud, in a crowded carriage, if somebody could please let me sit down as I'm disabled Blush I know it sounds stupid but I feel quite proud of myself Blush I have no self confidence whatsoever so it was a huge deal for me and I struggled but I knew I wouldn't manage to stay standing so I went for it. Luckily 2 men both jumped up out of their seats, I don't know what I would have done if nobody stood up. It would be easier if I could have asked someone directly but you don't know who may need a seat, you wouldn't know from looking at me that I needed a seat.

I felt really self conscious asking and then after I sat down, but I also felt kind of good and pleased with myself. It's something I have never done before and is a really big deal for me.

Anyway, AIBU for feeling kind of a little bit proud of myself for doing it? I wanted to share with someone but I feel embarrassed, so I thought I would share on here instead. I know it's AIBU but please be gentle Grin

OP posts:
FanaticalFox · 25/04/2017 10:21

Good for you and good for those who got up for you. Nice to know even if rush hour there are nice people out there!

3boys3dogshelp · 25/04/2017 10:22

Well done! Sounds like you handled it perfectly. London gets such a bad rap as being unfriendly but there are such a lot of lovely people around when you need them.

ChocolateSherberts2017 · 25/04/2017 10:22

Star FlowersCake

My dc has ASC so I know how intimidating full carriages can be so well done you.

CainDinglesLeatherJacket · 25/04/2017 10:22

YANBU! Smile

Today you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone and that's a big step, so you should feel proud - hopefully, you'll remember today's success in future and feel able to repeat it if necessary. Well done!

BeyondUser24601 · 25/04/2017 10:22

Well done! I know how hard it is to ask Flowers

PeaFaceMcgee · 25/04/2017 10:24

Of course yanbu, well done! It's only doing such things that makes them easier (self-confidence wise). One of the simplest things some therapists do is ask their clients to try acting 'as if' - e.g. act as if you're a confident person. By trying it on for size, you gradually see that it's actually not as bad as you thought, and the new ways of 'being' become more natural for you. More power to your elbow!

MrsMozart · 25/04/2017 11:39

Very well done on both counts!

sonyaya · 25/04/2017 11:44

Well done! YANBU to be proud of yourself, the tube is intimidating at the best of times.

MrsJayy · 25/04/2017 11:47

Well done you i am also disabled and i would rather poke my eyes out than go on the tube

Graphista · 25/04/2017 11:49

Well done! That's a really hard thing to do. Hope your meeting went well.

London does get a bad rep for unfriendliness, I'm not a Londoner but have travelled through London several times and still remember one occasion over 20 years ago when I was struggling with a load of luggage and a businessman type and a punk rocker worked together to help me get on a train, it must have looked a bit odd to other people - a businessman, punk rocker and a tiny skinny girl getting all this luggage on Grin

Will always be grateful for them.

Trills · 25/04/2017 11:50

Well done :)

Trills · 25/04/2017 11:51

I agree that London gets unfairly characterised as unfriendly.

People are polite in the not-bothering-you kind of way, not polite in the being-outwardly-friendly kind of way, but if it's clear you need help you will generally get it.

MrsJayy · 25/04/2017 11:54

Im not a londoner but have visited (avoided the tube) a few times i like it people were not unfriendly ime just busy everybody i spoke to were friendly enough,

theymademejoin · 25/04/2017 12:04

Well done. Most people are really happy to do something nice for someone else so you actually did them a favour :-)

JustSpeakSense · 25/04/2017 12:08

Good for you and good for speaking up!

I'd be mortified at the thought of using a seat while someone disabled needed it, but as you said it's not immediately apparent so well done for asking! I'm sure they were happy to give you their seat.

VerySadInside · 25/04/2017 12:20

Most people on the tube are happy to give up a seat if you ask. It's just everyone has their heads down so don't notice when someone needs it unless they are direct. Also I think a lot of people don't want to offend if person is fat not pregnant or a looks old and isn't iyswim?

Well done OP.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/04/2017 12:20

Bloody well done! Result for everyone! Hope you got where you needed to in time Thanks

paddlingwhenishouldbeworking · 25/04/2017 12:22

Well done! Speaking up for yourself is such an empowering thing.

I think there's lots of nice people on the tube. Nearly everyone is head down now with phones as well as books & papers and not meaning to be ignorant of others.

Crapuccino · 25/04/2017 12:27

Star I can't abide asking for help (or really even speaking) to strangers so you have my admiration. Onwards and upwards!

ScrumpyBetty · 25/04/2017 12:30

Star Well done Star

SovietKitsch · 25/04/2017 12:34

Well done OP I feel vicariously proud of you too! I hate the tube at rush hour with a passion (but have to use it a couple of times a month) because it ignites all my social anxiety and fears of not being able to get off at the right stop etc, so I have real respect for you doing it. Well done!

Sleepdeprivedredhead · 25/04/2017 12:35

Well done. That can't be easy to do.

petitdonkey · 25/04/2017 12:39

Really well done. Also, as a PP said, the person who gave you their seat will have a nice glow about it - I find that at least 98% of the people in the world are kind and good and want positive interactions with the world around them.

Not the same at all but we were on a packed train home from London last week. DD is 8 so I told her to sit on my lap so someone could have her seat - the woman who took it was so appreciative and thanked DD again as we left. Warm glows all 'round!

Thumbcat · 25/04/2017 12:40

Well done! I don't consider myself particularly shy but I don't think I would have been brave enough to do that.

AlpacaPicnic · 25/04/2017 12:40

I'm glad you had a good experience, I think you went about it the right way as well, by not singling people out and giving a general request to the carriage. I don't think people mean to ignore people but they are sometimes afraid of causing accidental offence or sometimes just lost in their own world or book/phone!

My parents (both in their late sixties but very fit and active, both fitter than me!) went to London recently and were amused by how many people jumped up to give them seats as they got on the tube! My mum decided she must have looked particularly haggard that day...

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