I have recently discovered my dh has changed a girls name to a mans name in his phone. We have had history of him speaking to females in the past but he never tells me about them. We dont have alot of friends and he is nearly always at home with us. So i feel i should know any female he knows, or at least any female that he has long, 40 mins or 1am conversations with. The messages i read seem quite harmless but he never tells me upfront that he has been messaging or speaking to an old female friend (as he says), or an old school friend. And also, these messages were received at 1am. It said something like, "im up. Are you still with them? This is my other number". . He said the message wasnt for him as it makes no sense. But he got in at 12am last night. He swears nothing is going on but why does he have to conceal their name in his phone? I can't help but think that the friendship is something more. The problem is, on this occasion, i saw no proof that he spoke to her or non-innocent messages. When i confront him he says he was scared to upset and lose me(???) Thats why he doesn't tell me - because of all the drama it has caused in the past.
This is the 3rd lie in a year. We got a 7 month old dc. I can't take the lies. I want to leave him but it seems an overreaction from a 1am missed call from 'john'. When is enough enough??