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Original poster

How do you cope with adult DC nocturnal activities

80 replies

Crowdblundering · 23/04/2017 23:33

WAA!

DS1 (19) has started having his GF to stay as they have been together a while now.

She is lovely etc.

He has the room directly above mine and all so have been able to hear for the last hour is the bed banging WAAA!

Argh this is worse than walking in on my parents which was pretty bad - who do people cope?! 🙈😱Blush

OP posts:
StillMedusa · 24/04/2017 00:01

I share your pain... woken up last year by DS1 (24) and his girlfriend!
He was away in Oz for a year living at her place but she is coming here next month on a 2 year visa and I'm wondering if noise cancelling headphones will help (me!).

I suspect being blunt 'please shag quietly' might mortify them into being a but less enthusiastic Grin

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 24/04/2017 00:03

I would rather they were here than in a bush in the park or in a car or somewhere dodgy - they are in love and committed to each other exclusively - I don't even have an issue with him having a healthy sex life - I just don't need to hear it BlushGrin

OP posts:
Original poster
Crowdblundering · 24/04/2017 00:06

OH and I have to be quiet and NEVER have the house to ourselves do are always stifled and we own the gaff so why the hell should they feel the freedom to be loud?! 😂

OP posts:
StillMedusa · 24/04/2017 00:10

I have been half tempted to have LOUD sex back in revenge... Grin
However the reality is being very verrry quiet so as not to offend our delicate (adult) sons' ears. WHY!?

Original poster
Crowdblundering · 24/04/2017 00:12

I showed him how to put a condom on a cucumber once, he was horrified and has refused to eat cucumber since and always complains about how embarsssing I am - but this he is ok with me hearing?!

OP posts:
Goodasgoldilox · 24/04/2017 00:18

Revert to rules from earlier childhood - about not jumping on the bed?

Bash on the ceiling and shout up about only using the trampoline in the garden?

The French play loud classical music in places (like heated underground car-parks) that they want to keep mating teens away from. It might work at home too.

ComedyofTerrors · 24/04/2017 00:22

The cucumber has just made me laugh so much I woke the cats Grin.
I'd have loved a mother like you.

notangelinajolie · 24/04/2017 00:26

Talk to them both together and tell them that if they want a shag pad they should get one of their own. Hopefully she will be so mortified that they switch their shagging activities to her mum's house. I know they are adults and aren't doing anything wrong but I would have to draw the line if much younger siblings were in earshot. I don't know if you have other children but sex noises are not exactly what I'd want little ones to be hearing.

thequeenoftarts · 24/04/2017 00:29

Shout yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and encore very loudly, whilst clapping like a barking seal lol...That ought to do it!!!

Itsnotwhatitseems · 24/04/2017 00:38

this reminds me of a time I came home from work early and heard my 19 year old daughter screaming, I rushed into her room and wasn't prepared for what I saw....I assumed she was being murdered at the time! (she thought she had the place to herself as I was meant to be at work another 2 hours)!

BastardBloodAndSand · 24/04/2017 00:42

Bang on the ceiling with the sweeping brush.

MrsMcMoo · 24/04/2017 00:44

I agree with you that you don't want them doing it somewhere dodgy. I think best just to be upfront, and say to him that he needs to have respect for the fact that others don't want to hear it.

annandale · 24/04/2017 00:46

Banging away like an armed policeman for an hour??

Leave leaflets on tantric sex around.

The cucumber made me LOL too, thank you!

Isadora2007 · 24/04/2017 00:46

Honestly I'd leave it for tonight and then chat to him tomorrow and suggest moving the futon etc.

My son (18 at the time) once text me to say we had left the baby monitor on downstairs (his room was also downstairs) and he could hear us in our bed 🙈🙈🙈 The Shame!!!

Thepassionfruit · 24/04/2017 00:47

Joking apart I think your son (and his partner) is being really disrespectful.

shellhider · 24/04/2017 00:51

Record the noise and then play it over breakfast and ask them if they heard it as you are worried that there might be rats upstairs.

UserOP · 24/04/2017 01:11

This gives me horrific flashbacks of when I lived with my mum in a two up two down (shared a wall.) I was 19 and after weeks of me and my boyfriend thinking we were being quiet she said that she was sick of hearing us having sex Blush

we spent that evening dismantling the bed frame and our bed became a mattress on the floor! Oh.. and thus begun rapidly saving for a rent deposit!!

AlmostAJillSandwich · 24/04/2017 03:16

Seriously, what is so wrong about your child having sex in the home they live in if they and their partner are of legal age?
See it all the time "you can have sex but not under my roof!"
If they're 16+ and having safe sex, what is the big deal about them doing it in their home, where they live? It's absolutely hypocritical if you're having sex in the house, why can't they? It's their own room, they're not doing it on your sofa in front of you!

HolidayArmidillo · 24/04/2017 03:23

OP has said that she is happy for them to have sex. She doesn't want to be kept awake by it which I think is a normal reaction. Unless they want to start hearing OP and her husband have sex, who are adults and are entitled to have sex too.

LellyMcKelly · 24/04/2017 04:05

Get a broom handle and bang on the ceiling! You sound like a really cool mum. Maybe mention it and suggest he starts saving for a proper double bed (and some thick carpetGrin).

Epipgab · 24/04/2017 04:57

Oh no, don't embarrass them! How mortifying would it be to realise your boyfriend's mum, who you really wanted to impress and had only met a few times, was able to hear you, and was demanding this be corrected? You're obviously comfortable talking about the topic with your DS, but his GF's family might not be the same.

Perhaps you could leave it a week or so, and then brightly let your DS know you'll be "redecorating". Actually you will be picking some soft things for his room for soundproofing purposes. Squishy headboard, rug under the bed feet, etc.

ilovechoc1987 · 24/04/2017 05:18

Great that you can be so cool about it..but would you be as cool if it was some bloke blatantly shagging your daughter up there?

Counterpane · 24/04/2017 05:32

Tell him that all the Mumsnetters you have spoken to are impressed with his 1 hour staying power and we would like him to join up so we can congratulate him in person. Grin

claraschu · 24/04/2017 05:37

I agree with Epipgap. They probably aren't even aware of the bed moving and it being audible from other rooms. I would move the bed a bit and put some unnoticeable padding around it when they are out. Maybe that is all it needs.

FairytalesAreBullshit · 24/04/2017 05:44

Counter wants to be put on a reserve list should future DIL not make it past complimenting your cooking.

Recalling my earlier exploits, plus later ones Grin if the bed was creaking you knew about it. Once had my BF brother shout 'put a pillow behind it' we should he meant under me not the headboard.

You should praise the Lord future DIL was quiet too, I recall my Dad getting in with a takeaway, plonking it ready to eat, upstairs it sounded like someone was getting murdered. Didn't know to check if the girl was ok or finish my chip butty.