DH is a massive football fan. The word fanatic describes him to a T. He has had a season ticket for his club, it was his and his now deceased dad's thing. His feelings are something I just don't comprehend. I didn't care about him going to the games before kids and when I was working full time. It was slightly irritating to plan around them, but I did it.
Fast forward 14 years and we now have 3 kids to plan around and I teach from home some evenings. One day a week, during term time only, I also go to an activity. I really enjoy it, and would love to do more, but we have 3 kids etc.
As anyone interested in the sodding premier league probably knows, the match schedule is always sodding changing, and makes it impossible to plan around.
I feel that when things clash during the week, especially my paid work, the regular timetable commitments come first, and that if he wants to go to these things, he has to sort out babysitters. He always throws it back saying that I am the one with the babysitting contacts (true, as I have been a sahm until starting teaching last year) and gets all huffy, saying I resent the football and I knew how passionate he was about it from the start. He also throws into the mix the cost of his season ticket and wasting money if he doesn't go. He sells the fanzine at the game, which covers the cost of his ticket, but takes him out for even longer. It's become a real bone of contention.
So tonight he's just come up and laughed, saying we're going to have an argument. He's now got a match on Wednesday, when I do my activity. I said we didn't have to harvest an argument, he could not go for a change, see if he could sell his ticket, so I can do my class. Or he could find a babysitter. He seems to think that neither of these options are possible, and we're back to the old "I resent his football" argument. The thing is, if it doesn't affect anything I don't mind him going. However, there are more and more times when it negatively affects the rest of the family, whether that's arranging holidays and social occasions around the ever changing schedule or trying to juggle the needs of our kids.
I am looking to go back to work, with a 2 hour commute either way, and therefore he's going to be the default parent as he will have a shorter working day. He's keen for me to do this, but I don't think he grasps that often I won't be home before 8 and he's just not going to be able to go.
I'm sick of arguments every time there is a clash, and I'm being made out as unreasonable, when I really don't think I am. Many people gave up their season ticket when kids came along, and just buy for the home matches they can attend. He won't even consider this.
So aibu and either way, has anyone else been in this situation and found a way forward that suits everyone