To refuse to fight this guy? (martial arts)

[BeWaterMyFriend]

I train in a martial art which involves occasional sparring.

I'm not terrible, but I'm average at best. Mid-range belt.

My problem is, one of the guys I train with is really good; fast, unbelievably strong, good technique. But though he's nearly a black belt, he has poor control. So every time we spar, he storms through my guard and punches me hard in the ribs/head/nose (often more than once). Not fun. And I'm getting fed up.

He's injured other people, got a reputation for brutal slaughter, been spoken to... No change.

WIBU to refuse to spar with him? And how the hell would I go about it? 'No offence, Jim, but I've had enough of being hurt by you, I'm too old for this shit and I have a family to look after'? I could speak to my sensei, who is lovely in many ways, but there's maybe 6 of us in the class so if he manipulates the pairings it'll be really obvious.

Any ideas?

It's not like it's totally unfair, randomuntrainedcuntowner (and I'd just like to say how much I appreciated your 'minutes' thread ) he's probably a similar height/weight to me (though much stronger). He could easily knock me out standing up ,although I'd have a fair chance against him on the ground.... but that's not how kickboxing sparring works.

I'm a black belt (Taekwondo) and also a middle aged woman, and NO WAY would I put up with that. In my classes it is made very clear that even with full sparring kit on it is LIGHT contact. ( Something I have to remind myself at times as I enjoy sparring). Anyone with that attitude would be pulled aside!

I did get my thumb dislocated last year (ouch) when a very powerful young chap did a flying side kick at the pad I was holding... and missed, taking my thumb to a horrible 90 degrees past where a thumb should be. Put me out of action for quite a while! (and the kicker is a policeman and was mortified at the damage he had caused!)

Just say no :)

I'm torn on this one, as I'm a former first dan karateka and have sparred with massive blokes who thought they were holding back, but it didn't feel like it to me. It bloody well hurt. I used to dread sparring with them, but at the same time it did serve to remind me that big blokes can hurt women, and no matter how many dan grades you achieve, the bigger, heavier one will usually win in a fight.

If you are attacked in the street, the guy isn't going to pull his punches so you have to have a realistic idea if how it will feel and how you can cope. Instead of trying to spar on an equal basis, I used to try clever techniques, e.g. catch the kick rather than block it, then manipulate him while he's on one leg, etc. You don't say which martial art you do, but I believe ju-jitsu is meant to be eaier for women, in that the techniques are better for people who are of unequal strength. You could also try small-circle ju-jitsu as an add-on to your present discipline. your sensei may not approve though.

Should also add, the one that hurt me most and did the most damage was another woman - she was a real demon and even the guys used to complan about her. Her fists felt like being hit by an iron bar! No broken bones but she ruptured my tendon and I couldn't move my arm for a fortnight.

Oh lord - mumsnet infamy- just what I hoped would never happen!

(Considers learning martial arts so I can knock the block off the next bloke who asks me to take minutes...🤔)