in expecting a thank you for presents I give

[mumtoaprincess]

My dd (3) went to 2 parties 2 weeks ago and I have yet to receive a thank you (neither written nor verbal) for the presents I gave. After my daughter's own party, the thank you's were written and sent within days. Is it wrong to expect the parents to write a short note on behalf of the child.

I don't expect thank yous for run of t' mill parties.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, but from years of experience of parties for young children, I think you're being unrealistic.
I think a thank you letter to family and close friends is one thing, but sending them out to dozens of people after a party is another.
I was always happy for my children to be given a verbal thank you from the birthday boy or girl when the present is given, TBH.

Perhaps they are lurking in the bottoms of schoolbags.

YES YOU ARE

Sorry, playgroup bags

hmm.....a verbal thank you is fine i think..

i send written thank yous to family and very close friends, verbal thanks for everyone else

I think it is good manners to write a thank you note if you've been given a present. If someone has gone to the time, effort and expense of buying a present, then they should be thanked.

I don't think you're being unreasonable.

I think a thank you note is polite but I have to admit that DD's party was 3 weeks ago and she is going to school tomorrow with her thank you letters as we went on holiday almost immediately! Back now thank you letters delivered am - maybe yours is in my pile mumtoaprincess!!

I think it may be unreasonable to expect a thank-you, for when it doesnt materialise, you are upset because something that You think should happen hasnt.

To prefer a thank-you note is entirely reasonable. Then when it happens your gift is acknowledged and when it doesnt, its no big deal.

This goes for most, if not all, expectations. Expectations are unreasonable, preferences are not.

Makes life a lot more calm!

I like that squidette - I far more relaxed outlook on life.

I make DSs write the thank you for a present received at a party immediately they have unwrapped it and before they unwrap the next one. 1) it encourages them to write them 2) you know who sent it and 3) it diffuses the materialistic present bonanza that is the result of 20 guests at a party.

No...not unreasonable...but realistically you won't get one from everyone.

Yes, obviously it is nice to get a thank you letter, but I think it is unreasonable to expect one.

Did you give the present in order to make the person happy, or because you wanted to get an expression of gratitude in return?

I almost wrote this thread myself! I get irritated when I don't receive thank-you's for a present. But then again, dd is not yet school age, so perhaps when she has a party with 30 guests invited, I won't have inclination to write thank-yous myself, so I may be being hipocritical (sp?).

I suppose in the great scheme of things, it isn't that important...but a verbal thank you is definitely important imo.

I think if the child unwraps the present in front of the giver and says thank you at the time, that is fine. What I don't like is when you are directed to "just put the present on the table" or similar and there is no real giving/receiving - it's almost like paying to go to the party.
However, I fully understand if people don't manage written thank you notes as it can take ages and mums have lots to do!

Tooticky - exactly!