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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To overreact about this comment?

15 replies

Needanotherpairofhands · 21/04/2017 21:54

So have 9mo twins, today I sent him a video of one of the twins crawling but then tonight DP decided to comment on how I have a 'favourite twin' but it didn't matter as one 'loves him more anyway'
I have been rather upset by this comment but he thinks I'm making a big deal over this. Am I just being over sensitive?

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 21/04/2017 21:55

I'm sure he's only joking. Relax.

Needanotherpairofhands · 21/04/2017 21:57

Thanks, perhaps I'm just being overly sensitive.

OP posts:
Perola · 21/04/2017 21:59

Tone of voice matters. Humour is in the delivery. I can set how that comment could be upsetting - but maybe he genuinely can't?

bigchris · 21/04/2017 21:59

That would annoy me too, tell him not to say silly things again

category12 · 21/04/2017 22:01

It's a stupid thing to joke about.

Xmasbaby11 · 21/04/2017 22:02

We joke about this with our two girls .. 'which is your favourite today?'. I don't think it's a problem unless you are genuinely worried one is favoured?

mainlywingingit · 21/04/2017 22:03

Possibly he has a favourite twin and is deflecting/normalising this onto you?

Odd comment

Bellaposy · 21/04/2017 22:04

I think you're being over sensitive. Sounds very light hearted to me.

BrutusMcDogface · 21/04/2017 22:04

Xmasbaby- we do this, too. Dp and I will often say "x isn't my favourite any more". It's totally TOTALLY said in jest, as we both know that we both adore each of our dc unconditionally and equally.

So, I think he was joking, and you need to let it wash over you.

picklemepopcorn · 21/04/2017 22:07

I'm your favourite is a joke in this house too.

upwardsandonwards33 · 21/04/2017 22:24

Very odd thing to say, even to think such a thing is odd. As pp said, ask him not to spout such nonsense.

BoomBoomsCousin · 21/04/2017 22:24

We have twins and I have joked like that when they were v. young. I also joke that they are DH's children when they do something that is less than helpful and My children when they are shining stars (DH does the same but in reverse). It is all entirely light hearted and most definitely not meant. But these things are context dependent. The question is - do you really think he thinks you have a favourite? Do you really think he thinks you aren't a good parent (which is what this seems to boil down to)? Because if you get that impression from him sometimes you aren't really over reacting, though the focus of your upset should probably change.

But if you don't think he means what he says, and there isn't an undercurrent of criticism in his comments, then it's just a joke that fell flat. And it's kind of pointless being upset at that. Twins are hard enough without falling out over something that means nothing.

Herschellmum · 21/04/2017 22:27

I have twins, when they were young I was so obsessed with equal treatment because I never wanted to favour one or anyone think that, so would have been annoyed, however now I would just laugh it off.

ScarlettFreestone · 21/04/2017 22:29

I have twins. I wouldn't find any of that funny.

ThreeLeggedHaggis · 22/04/2017 01:03

Impossible to say who WBU. It's dependent on tone and intent, which none of us can gauge.

But now he knows it upset you, he would be unreasonable to say it again!

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