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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be gutted we're not entitled to any financial help?

481 replies

DeanaPiana · 21/04/2017 13:48

Myself and DH have a combined income of £46000.

I have done numerous calculators and apparently, I am not entitled to Child Tax Credits or Working Tax Credits when baby gets here.

A few sources have even said I shouldn't go for Child Benefit as it wouldn't be worth it in tax returns Shock

We didn't budget for a baby thinking we would get extra help to finance them etc, but I thought we were entitled to at least a little something and I have to say, I feel gutted. We live in a high cost area, London, and rent here too. We want to move out into a more rural/outer area in the next 2 years max but that just doesn't seem possible now. No way we can afford to save that much. We don't even have a lot of outgoings. Our rent is over 1K a month and that is considerablly cheap here.

Just doesn't seem fair at all Sad

OP posts:
usernumbernine · 21/04/2017 15:14

I have no problem with the OP having a holiday or a take away.

I have a problem with her being gutted she wasn't getting benefits to pay for them.

TinselTwins · 21/04/2017 15:15

I don't think OP should get financial assistance from the state, but I don't think she should be mocked for wanting a decent standard of living either.

If the OP started a thread about how gutting it is that a decent enough salary doesn't go far in London, she'ld have had heaps of sympathy

She didn't though, that's not what the OP was about

ClopySow · 21/04/2017 15:16

I am going to start a campaign to prevent discrimination and abuse of the middle-income masses

My heart it doth bleed.

LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours · 21/04/2017 15:17

We would struggle for a nice holiday so I can't see how you'd feel like a millionare

Fuck me.

I was feeling sorry for you all the shit you were getting until that comment OP.

I struggle to buy bread at the end of the week. Seriously, my mother had to loan me half a loaf of bread last Sunday. Loan because she couldn't afford to give me it.

I get full WTC and CTC, child benefit and housing benefit too.

I'll swap if you like?

I would love to able to struggle to afford a holiday. Christ, right now I'll settle for being able to struggle to manage a bottle of Lambrini once a month.

Take your head out of your arse, love.

If you can afford to eat, heat your home and pay your bills, you're doing better than a lot of people.

Cut back or leave London if you want a better lifestyle. £46k p/a is more than enough for a comfy lifestyle and if it's not you're doing something wrong.

harderandharder2breathe · 21/04/2017 15:18

YabMASSIVELYu

cathf · 21/04/2017 15:18

You've kind of proved my point there Clopy.
After all, it would mean you wouldn't be able to discuss the chip on your shoulder, would you?

AmberLin · 21/04/2017 15:18

Then she she should move away from London and stop asking for welfare so she can live in/near one of the worlds most expensive and over priced cities... genuinely don't have sympathy. I know loads of southerners who moved up north to improve their financial situation.

confusedat23 · 21/04/2017 15:19

Well £23K is £1K over the national average but actually £11K short of the Central London Average wage.

OP everyone worries about money how ever much you have. I have heard there is a new scheme coming in which rather than childcare vouchers you put in £80 and the government pays in £20 (So effectively tax free childcare) and then your Nursery tajes payment from that account. I think this would be a good idea for you as you can start paying in now and anyone can pay into that account meaning if parents would like to help etc they can.

I recently had a convo with MIL OP about how I will be going back to work asap after have DC as we cannot afford to lose a salary, but we are fortunate enough to not have to pay for fulltime childcare. Have you compared the costs and seen whether it is better for you to go back full time or part time.

Also could you and DP easily change your jobs to another area?

TheFirstMrsDV · 21/04/2017 15:20

jelly I have lived in London all my life so not ignorant of the costs.
But poor people have to manage in London just as those on 40k and above do.
These threads seem to imply that somehow its easier for those on low incomes than it is on high ones.
And I have never understood how anyone comes to that conclusion.

I earn 8k a year because I have to work part time. I care for OH and one of the DCs.
But because I earn over the permitted amount I cannot claim carers allowance.

OH manages two evenings a week.

We get but right now.
We are absolutely screwed for the future though.
No savings, no pension, a permanently dependant child and a OH with a degenerative illness.

I am not an unsympathetic person but reading threads from young healthy women who are angsty about surviving on 46k gives me the pip.

cathf · 21/04/2017 15:21

No, Amber, no-one has any sympathy, and that's a shame.
It seems people earning less than the OP think they have a monopoly on sympathy.

katronfon · 21/04/2017 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usernumbernine · 21/04/2017 15:23

TheFirstMrsDV exactly. I have no pension - I can't afford to pay in it would cost too much money out of what I earn. And I have no savings - it's all I can do to not be in the overdraft every month.

AndNowItIsSeven · 21/04/2017 15:23

"On what planet, Tory or Labour, would a couple on that kind of income ever be entitled to tax credit help?"

Earth - specifically the UK in the early 2000's back when tax credits were not benefits. The government /media brainwashing of them and us was yet to happen.

usernumbernine · 21/04/2017 15:24

Well pardon me for not specifying that I wasn't going in a Tardis and I meant today, in 2017, regardless of government in power Hmm

feathermucker · 21/04/2017 15:28

Initially, I read that you'd not bothered budgeting and just assumed you'd get extra help.......but it's just the way you've written it.

Whilst you don't deserve some of the harsher replies, it's perfectly possible to manage on £46k. You will need to budget appropriately and look at all aspects of your imcoiihgs/outgoings to see where you can save money.

Honestly, people (including myself) manage on a LOT less than you've quoted....you just need to plan.

AntiHop · 21/04/2017 15:28

Op I understand why you're upset. The problem is ludicrous rents and house prices in London. 10 or 15 years ago you would have very comfortable on that combined salary.

It's not just as easy as saying "move somewhere cheaper". I live in London too. If we all moved somewhere cheaper, London would cease to function! I'd love another child but we can't afford to have more than one until she starts school. By that point I'll be in my early 40s so we may not be able to conceive. We'll just have to wait and see.

Yes there are families in London who have much lower incomes. It's bloody tough for them. Yes it's less tough for you, but it's still tough thanks to house prices.

NameChanger22 · 21/04/2017 15:29

I earn 13k, but I don't pay rent or mortgage because I bought our house a long time ago and the mortgage is paid off. If I paid rent where I live it would only cost about 7k or 8k a year, so living on 20k would very easy to do. I do pay a significant proportion of what I earn on childcare.

I don't live in London, I didn't say I did. Living in London is a huge luxury. I don't think we should be supporting millions of people with extra tax credits just because they decide to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

JanetBrown2015 · 21/04/2017 15:29

May be we can all help you earn mroe. Why do you earn so much less than I do or my daughtesr for example? If we fix that then you won't need to worry about other hard working tax payers subsidising your choice to have a first baby.

Also why is it harder to move out of London as you have planned? Surely that would be easier, not harder as the rent would be less.

Astro55 · 21/04/2017 15:30

All tax credits did was take away earning power.

They kept wages low so people could top up.

Anyone remember the bus drivers going part time because tax credits topped them up more then they could earn?

Seriously the government did you no favors AND you should be looking at them not OP

TinklyLittleLaugh · 21/04/2017 15:30

You know when I was a kid, only my Dad worked (miner). We owned our own house, we had a decent car, we always went on holidays. We had days out, went out for dinner, and us kids had choppers and skateboards and every seventies fad going.

23 years ago, down south (Reading) I was a SAHM to DCs 1 and 2. Things were a bit tight, (DH worked in a lab) but we owned our own house, we ran a car, we had (camping) holidays in France. We managed.

I think it is quite unfair that the OP is being roundly vilified for being grabby when her lifestyle is basically, what would have been considered poor 20 years ago. Living standards are dropping. Working people can't earn enough to live securely and comfortably. It's not being grabby to have an expectation of those things.

limon · 21/04/2017 15:30

Your entitled to child benefit. With income of 46k you really don't need help from the state.

Underthemoonlight · 21/04/2017 15:32

Are you my sil they moan about money earnIn considerably more.

FlyAwayPeter · 21/04/2017 15:35

I just thought a little something would be ours to put towards small costs, nothing big/too reliant

You thought you'd get a "little something" for having a baby?

So, completely FREE medical treatment throughout your pregnancy and your chid's life is not "a little something"?

30 hours per week of FREE nursery time is not "a little something"?

Free schooling for 13 years is not "a little something"?

cathf · 21/04/2017 15:36

Agreed Tinkly, and as a PP has already said, the OP is not asking for anything more than some people living entirely in benefits already have.
And when it's questioned on MN, everyone piles in to defend them.
So it's OK to want to be able to save for an occasional holiday when you are on benefits, but not when you are earning a FORTUNE.
OK ...

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 21/04/2017 15:37

Hi OP,
I work in welfare rights and I'd be happytohave a little look through the figures for you.
This 46K? How much is your income and how much is DH's?
Is it gross or net?
When does your maternity leave start? And will you be recieving contractual or statutory maternity pay?
I know that you've checked the online calculators but sometimes they can be inaccurate if your dealing with a period in which there will be a change of circumstances.

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