To decline free spa weekend?

[ShootSomeClays]

My best friend has booked us into a spa for my birthday treat for the night. The whole works. This is obviously a lovely gesture, but I've always stayed away from such places I've got bad acne and scarring all over my back and the thought of someone staring at it for an hour whilst rubbing their hands all over me fills me with dread. I also have chronic athletes foot and fungal infections that just don't shift, so letting anyone near me for a pedicure is not an option. just can't bare the thought of having to strip off in front of a stranger, my body is disgusting. I really do want to go, but I feel I'm going to have to make up some excuse about being ill now and let her down. I feel terrible about it. AIBU?

Don't let the thought of what others might think put you off. For your own sake, try to get the foot thing sorted.
As for the spa, a facial can be very relaxing, or a manicure. Do things that you would like and enjoy. Think of it as being kind to yourself, and don't do anything that you are uncomfortable with.

Lighting is usually very low. Your friend is your friend. She doesn't care what you look like without makeup.

As a friend, I wouldn't want to stress my mate out as a gift. Please, just talk to her. This is my idea of hell and my feet and skin are fine. I just don't like strangers touching me. I don't find it relaxing.

TheWitTank The GP put me on some form of the pill years ago for acne but it didn't really help. What really cleared my skin up was after cutting out all processed food and living on green things for a couple of months, but sadly that was back before I had a stressful job and children and free time so it's just so difficult to manage that at the moment. Plus I like pizza too much.

I might go if they avoid my feet and I can keep my makeup on. Whenever my DC pester me to go swimming I always wear a lycra gym top with a high rise back and bikini bottoms (I have thankfully been blessed with good legs at the very least)

Facials hurt when you have cystic acne.

Alpha H liquid gold works wonders on back acne.

OP you seem to have some strange ideas about spas. Have you been to one before? If not maybe we can allay some of your fears by talking you through how they work?

I've been to various spas and honestly OP it is NOT like you see in the pictures with lots of gorgeous thin permatanned Nordic models lolling around - they are full of NORMAL women like you and me, old and young, curvy and thin, blemished and stringy haired and hairy legged and dodgy toenails and all! And it's bloody glorious because of it. And no, nobody has to get naked and no, nobody is looking at you and judging.
Do go. And I hope you have a lovely time.

Just jumping in to comment on the chronic athletes foot, the only thing that fixed mine was low carb and no sugar.

I had chronic athletes foot for close to 20 years and thrush when breast feeding. I went on a low carb diet and that is what finally helped it clear up (intention was to loose weight, but clearing my feet was a massively positive side effect). My feet had been the best they had been in a very long time...just had an outbreak last week because I joined in with the kids eating a load of Easter sugary crap. My feet are a barometer to my general health

I bet the beauty therapists and masseurs see all sorts of skin problems during the course of their work, and wouldn't find it a problem as long as you present yourself clean, I think that is more important and respectful.

I am a beauty therapist and we see all sorts so don't worry about us!!! However, it breaks my heart that you have suffered all these years without getting it sorted!!!! Go to your gp and insist on being referred to a dermatologist. YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF!!!!!! If it was one of your children, what would you tell them to do? xxxx

Aw, thanks everyone. I feel much better now. Ken No I've never stepped foot inside one before, have been invited before but always made up excuses about being on my period etc. I'm gonna go for it I think.

Oh darling, acne is miserable, isn't it. I have completely given up on completely curing mine and go with a make up most of the time and a "I just look like this, fuck off" attitude the rest of it, but it's taken a long time - and a lot of pricey French skin unguents - to get there.

I would honestly go to the spa, because they really are lovely, and the saunaing and massages and stuff are great. But I personally wouldn't let any of them touch your face. Messing about with my skin with anything other than what I'm using makes my skin go insane a few days later. They will probably suggest things that they think will help, which I'm sure has happened to you before; just say "Thank you, but I'm under treatment from a doctor." I use that line all the time and it's a total fib but I'm sick of well meaning interference about it.

I think your swimming outfit sounds great if you want to hide back scarring but I wouldn't bother about hiding it from a masseuse - they honestly don't give a toss, they see all kinds of bodies and skin.

I hope you enjoy it if you do go.

Yay! Go you

I generally don't like this kind of thing either but got invited and thought I'd give it a go. I went for the face massage choice, but when
I went in the room the massage person said take everything off apart from underwear and go under the sheet thingy as apparently it included neck and upper chest type of area. I didn't want to so I just said erm no, just miss that bit out! She seemed slightly surprised but I'm sure it can't be that rare that people rather keep their clothes on!

Give it a go and hopefully you'll enjoy it overall. If you're not comfy being too much on show just say no to that bit it's your choice they can adapt it

Go! Talk to your friend, wear your usual swim gear - plus you will have a fluffy white robe and slippers. Have a treatment manicure where they massage and moisturise your hands & cuticles, shape your nails - no polish if you don't want. Head massage. Steam rooms, dry sauna, plunge pool after (that gets your heart racing :) Ask to see the brochure - I bet there will be something you fancy. Look up the treatments on you tube to see what they do. Swimming pool is normal - but with no kids. Treatment rooms are private.

I declined a spa day last year because of my skin condition. I really wanted to go but I would have been able to relax and that's kinda the point of those places. I presume, as I've never been to one. I said I would be at work that day 😕 looking back I wish I'd have gone. I bet the staff see all sorts.

Wouldn't have been able to relax*

I've declined a spa day because it's just not my thing. I don't like being touched and prodded about.

I was bought a spa day once. Wasted a whole day shuffling about in a dressing gown and slippers and had to pay a fortune for any actual treatments and lunch.

Not for me.

Another one who is nearly too fat for the dressing gown

You should go, and have lots of