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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I ask for this money back?

32 replies

Blownspeakersandvolcanos · 20/04/2017 21:21

I worked bank holiday and as a treat we ordered food into the office. You had to pay by card and so I paid and everyone gave me cash but one person.

This person I see as a good friend.

But this behaviour is very typical of her. Its always the odd £5 or £10 that I never actually see again. Not a lot of money but it sure adds up.

I still have not seen the money for this food and usually I'd let it go but I feel I need to stop being such a bloody doormat.

OP posts:
Lelloteddy · 20/04/2017 21:22

Of course you should.

TheRealPooTroll · 20/04/2017 21:23

I'd let this time go but I wouldn't be lending to her anymore. Or offering to put the office food bill on my card if she is included in it.

ijustwannadance · 20/04/2017 21:24

Ask for it back then don't do it again.
You are being a mug.

pasturesgreen · 20/04/2017 21:24

Why ever would you let it go? Definitely ask for your money back.

Questioningeverything · 20/04/2017 21:25

'Hey Susan I need that fiver for your lunch from bank holiday'
Job done, surely?

Original poster
Blownspeakersandvolcanos · 20/04/2017 21:26

Because I'm a bloody mouse that hates awkwardly asking for money back Sad

OP posts:
pinkblink · 20/04/2017 21:26

Or next time food is ordered tell her she can get yours as she still owes from bank hol?

TheRealPooTroll · 20/04/2017 21:26

Well the op shouldn't have to let it go. I'm just saying I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of chasing it - no doubt she won't have it on her and you'll have to ask more than once.
But the I probably wouldn't have lent to her in the first place if she has form for not paying it back.

Fragglez · 20/04/2017 21:28

I hate this. You should absolutely get your money back. I too am a doormat, and in a similar situation i went with 'oh no, ive forgotten to get cash out for lunch - Fred, do you have that fiver you owe me from last week? So sorry to ask etc etc' or just say it plainly if you are feeling brave!

harderandharder2breathe · 20/04/2017 21:31

Definitely ask for it back!

And next time don't put it on your card unless everyone gives you the cash or bank transfer FIRST. Anyone who hasn't paid doesn't get food.

Katmeifyoucan · 20/04/2017 21:32

Just to do it. People like her count on people like you not asking. She would ask you.

Katmeifyoucan · 20/04/2017 21:34

Also she is not really a friend if she does this regularly. She is doing it on purpose. How dare she? She is taking advantage of you.

Questioningeverything · 20/04/2017 21:35

Oh blown I'm the same. My ex owes me a few hundred but cause I ended it I have to wait the acceptable amount of time before politely reminding him I want my bloody cash.

ForalltheSaints · 20/04/2017 21:36

Don't let it go.

ThreeLeggedHaggis · 20/04/2017 21:37

Of course you should!

Do it in front of a few other colleagues so she can't weasel out of it without looking bad. A casual "Oh, X, have you got the cash for the food the other day? I've got change if you need it."

ImperialBlether · 20/04/2017 21:38

Ask her in front of other people who have paid and say, "Everyone's paid except you."

Katmeifyoucan · 20/04/2017 21:39

If you really don't want to say it face to face send a text or email;

Just a quick reminder that you still owe me for the takeaway on Friday. Yours came to £10.

shesaidhello1 · 20/04/2017 21:42

I had a friend who did this all the damn time! Always forgetting her purse or her card and forgetting to cash out until we were ready to pay and she would say oh sorry I don't have cash. Or if one person had ordered something (e.g.) a collective present she was always the hardest to get money out of and it put me in the most awkward situation of feeling uncomfortable to ask for my own money back! I hated it but was too much of a mouse to ask. And she had money, she worked, same as the rest of us! I just let it go all the bloody time, stupid that I am. Then randomly, I'm talking a year later, she was like oh it's ok don't get it this time, I owe you for x, y and z and I finally in some roundabout way got it back!

Livelovebehappy · 20/04/2017 21:43

Can't you just email her? Guess you're on desk top computers in your office, so maybe just drop her a brief email reminding her. This will avoid any awkward face to face confrontations. I wouldn't just leave it as you're going to feel resentful about it - I don't know how people can do this; owe money but just not bother paying up.

EleanorRigbysNeice · 20/04/2017 21:43

I'd just remind in a friendly way...

Original poster
Blownspeakersandvolcanos · 20/04/2017 21:50

Definitely can't send an email, because I sit right next to her Grin ... think that would make it more awkward.

I am starting to get so resentful now and I know I need to ask for it back otherwise it'll get to the point where it'll ruin our friendship,

OP posts:
diten · 20/04/2017 21:51

I once gave a friend £200 cause they needed it and I think they've forgotten about it as it was around 10 years ago!

I like Katmeifyoucan's answer. Can't argue with that.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/04/2017 21:53

If they want to order food in again say that you are not putting it on your card as you are still owed money from last time. As everyone mentions that they paid it will soon become obvious who the culprit is and hopefully she will be shamed into coughing up.

But tbh I doubt it, people like this tend have very brass necks and very thick skins.

hellomoon · 20/04/2017 21:53

Recently a colleague arranged an event and paid for everyone, with the intention that we would all pay him back.

I totally forgot - and he had to remind me, which I was mortified about.

I really liked the wording he used in an email, as it made it a none issue. 'Debt collection Smile Gentle reminder on debts due'

Perhaps you could send something light and unapologetic like that? Key word being unapologetic - you are not your friends overdraft facility.

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/04/2017 21:54

I know you say you dont want to ruin the friendship but frankly someone who takes the piss like this isnt much of a friend so I wouldnt worry too much about that. You may find that she cools off very quickly upon realising that you are not going to be bankrolling her anymore.