To ask what would you do about a DD with a hairy back?

[Germansausage88]

Just that really.

My DD is 4 and will be starting school in September. Both her dad and I are dark haired and she's olive skinned. She's got quite a lot of dark hair over her upper back which obvious she doesn't care about or even know it's there at the moment but I really really worry that she will get picked on when she starts school because of it.

I was picked on for similar reasons when I was at school and it seriously affected my self confidence and I don't want her to suffer the same

I have a child who has a medical condition which doesn't impair his day to day life particularly but is quite noticeable to other people. (Sorry that's a bit vague but it's rare so quite identifying).
There is nothing I can do to change his appearance (there's a whole other debate about whether it would be right to do that, it's just not an option in our case).
I have had some curious comments from children in playparks etc 'why has he got x' or 'oh look he's got x' - just interested because they haven't seen it before but with no negative connotations. It would be very easy to overreact to this sort of innocent question when you're a worried mum and want to protect your child. But I try to just answer the question they've asked with a positive slant eg 'most people are born with y, some people are born with x, but look, he's really good at doing z'.

So maybe just consider a nice neutral but positive reply if a child (eg at a swimming lesson) mentions it so that you are prepared (especially if your own background makes you particularly sensitive about discussing it).
eg 'we all have hair on our backs which helps keeps us warm when we're swimming, some people just have more than others so they're extra warm'
In my opinion your daughter is much more likely to have problems in reception if she is nervous because she has picked up on your nervousness rather than because of the hair itself. So I would make sure she does plenty of socialising and is feeling as positive as possible about school in general, if possible knows some other kids that are going etc.
It's tricky that your daughter is currently unaware of it - my son has only recently mentioned his condition but I decided that I would mention it in advance in a neutral manner as I felt that was a better way of becoming aware of it than another child pointing it out. So I would say 'oh look mummy has y, you have x' while comparing the relevant areas. I'm not sure this is necessarily appropriate in your situation though but something to consider perhaps.
Also, I think things have changed a lot since you were at school so hopefully children are more accepting of differences.

Dd(7) also has a hairy back and is generally hairy. She has said she would like to shave her legs. I don't think she has noticed her own back.
She is a gymnast and so I suspect she will remove her hair sooner than most girls. When she actually wants to she can be supported to do it safely.

I was a really hairy child. Mainly on my arms - very dark. The only person who ever teased me about it was my sister. Relentlessly. She called me 'Monkey Arms'.

She also liked to call me 'Denis Healy eyebrows' (shows age!).

I was really a really cute child in hindsight and I certainly had no comments at school. I can also remember there were Asian girls at school with hairy backs and I never thought anything of it.

She's 4. Don't project onto her. If/when it becomes an issue look at options then.
She has plenty of time to decide what is "wrong" with her body without you starting it.

Kids can be bullied for anything (seriously, a girl in my sister's class was properly bullied for being too pretty) so I wouldn't do anything that might make your DD self conscious just to pre-empt bullying.

Also, try not to show that you're conscious of being hairy. My DM always used to complain about hairy arms and legs and also having a big arse / thighs and then say "Oh and poor OneFlew got it from me too" and it gave me a major body issues.

I stopped shaving a couple of years ago from sheer laziness and was shocked to discover that I didn't actually turn into a yeti - it was pretty standard olive skinned leg hair but in my head I'd always been this hideously hairy person because my DM was so upset she'd passed on "the curse"!

4yo are not going to be commenting on each other's backs. Dark haired people frequently have darker body hair, it is not remotely unusual.

There is no need whatsoever to do anything Op. Really. Please do nothing.

As someone said above, bullying is to do with the bullies, not the victims.

I overheard a really wonderful conversation an adult had with three 8-year-olds about what other children laughed at them about. One, it was because of her nose, one it was her glasses, the other, her name. The fact is there is a certain playground thing where everyone gets picked on for something and if you get upset, then it goes on and on.

I was the one who got upset and was bullied remorselessly, but my dd used to come home laughing about the jokes made about her name and she was fine.

Teach your child to be able to laugh at herself and she will avoid no end of trouble.

Asian woman here: we're known to have hairy backs. Try scrubbing her back with a towel or bodyscrub - not really hard but regularly. It will make the hair naturally fall away.

I would hope that isn't a problem for 4yos.
If she comes to you and feels that there is a problem with others when she is older 9/10/11 she can make an informed choice about what to do - either she's able to deal with the behaviour or if it's upsetting her then she could make an informed choice whether to wax it or whatever.