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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find ACTIVITIES such a ball ache?

29 replies

LookAtTheFlowersKerry · 20/04/2017 09:45

I feel like a right grinch.

Dh is off this week and it's been ACTION PACKED. We've done boating, a picnic, a big lunch out, cinema, loads in the garden, parks, walks and we're going to a theme park tomorrow.

It's been great fun, it really has, and I've done it all happily without complaint. But inside I'm screaming.

I'm very much an introvert and I am lucky enough to be a SAHM with all three dc in school. So I get plenty of alone time to recharge my batteries usually and two weeks with the whole brood around all day is making my nerves jangle. Dh is wonderful and has made sure I get time in the evenings to just lie in bed and watch Downton. But he's not the sort of person to have days 'off' so every hour of every day has been scheduled for FUN FUN FUN.

WIBU to say I need today to be more chilled? I'd like to potter round the garden centre and maybe take some stuff to the tip, but other than that I'd like to chill at home. I think the kids could probably do with it as well.

Am I just being a selfish fun sucker? I haven't let on at all that I'm finding it so hard, as far as they all know I've been a willing and active participant. But I've had enough, and as tomorrow will be so intense I'd like to duck out for today.

Aibu?

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 20/04/2017 09:47

Totally agree. My DP insists on knowing what our 'plans' are all the time. Fuck plans. I don't want plans.

When DP is away over a weekend I sigh with relief and sit in my pyjamas.

I love a good day out but they exhaust me. I can't do it more than occasionally.

Batgirlspants · 20/04/2017 09:50

A theme park is a huge treat. Parks walks, shopping, picnic is par for the course isn't it though with a telly/video day thrown in.

Kids do need to amuse themselves too not just be spoon fed. Being bored isn't a crime it builds imagination.

usernumbernine · 20/04/2017 09:53

I've been off this week. Two teens at home.

I got up to let the cat out and have a bowl of cereal and have retreated back to bed with coffee.

I'm glad my boyfriend is working because I can lie about in jammies til lunchtime 3pm

I hear ya. We have done precisely fuck all since Easter Monday.

MakeItRain · 20/04/2017 10:06

Yes I'm with you. We've had a few days out and about this Easter, but loads of time chilling around the house. I'd say it's one of the absolute best aspects of splitting with my ex, not having all my free time micro managed. You could feel the tangible stress in the air of needing to have FUN or be out doing IMPORTANT things from the moment we woke up every day.
I love my relaxed life now Grin Definitely have a day off today!

BodyformForYou · 20/04/2017 10:08

I You can potter round the garden centre and go to the tip, when normal routine resumes
What you are doing is building memories with your kids all these days out they will remember when they are older

Allthewaves · 20/04/2017 10:09

You disappear to chill and let dh take them to do something

Obviouspretzel · 20/04/2017 10:15

Just do your own thing for one or two days then. Personally I couldn't think of anything worse than pottering around the garden centre and taking some stuff to the tip on my day off. I'd rather be at work.

Really it is a good thing that your DH wants to spend the time off having fun with the kids. Just don't join in if it is getting too much (which I can understand even though I don't agree) .

Rainydayspending · 20/04/2017 10:19

It doesn't sound especially busy if you're children are of ?primary? age. Sorry. Lots of tea and cake at you. Nearly made it!

Vroomster · 20/04/2017 10:20

It's a good thing to have down days too, because stuff still needs doing. Washing still needs doing, housework and gardening. Also, kids don't need to be entertained every minute of every day.

We had a mix of trips out and days in the garden in the Easter holidays. The dc love being in the garden and get involved with digging.

metalmum15 · 20/04/2017 10:31

That sounds exhausting. You need to have a good mix, so the kids aren't shattered when they go back to school and need another holiday, but also they aren't constantly whining that they're bored.

Last week we went out quite a bit (cinema, lunch, shopping, seeing relatives) then just chilled at the weekend while the kids ate their bodyweight in chocolate and spent far too much time on their tablets. We've been out every day this week getting fresh air, but only for 3/4 hours so they still have time at home each day. We'll probably have a quiet weekend catching up on homework before they go back to school.

metalmum15 · 20/04/2017 10:31

That sounds exhausting. You need to have a good mix, so the kids aren't shattered when they go back to school and need another holiday, but also they aren't constantly whining that they're bored.

Last week we went out quite a bit (cinema, lunch, shopping, seeing relatives) then just chilled at the weekend while the kids ate their bodyweight in chocolate and spent far too much time on their tablets. We've been out every day this week getting fresh air, but only for 3/4 hours so they still have time at home each day. We'll probably have a quiet weekend catching up on homework before they go back to school.

MorrisZapp · 20/04/2017 10:35

My ideal day is mooching about the house in the morning then wandering to our local park after lunch to catch pokemon and play with other kids. No time constraints and open to change if the mood or weather dictate.

Plans are fun too but not all the bloody time. My parents hardly took us anywhere (seventies childhood) but I have nothing but happy, hazy sun-kissed memories.

Original poster
LookAtTheFlowersKerry · 20/04/2017 11:00

Well I've managed to mooch this morning and get some things done.

My sister has just turned up with her two and then we've booked to see fucking Boss Baby this afternoon.

I think that's a fair compromise between full on action and having a bit of quiet time.

OP posts:
Ariandenotgrande · 20/04/2017 11:23

I don't think you're being a grinch, I'm in the same position (fewer kids) and I'm knackered, all this 'fun' is doing my head in. I haven't been as prolific as you re activities but it's been really difficult this Easter. I was a kid whose parents did everything all the time, activities, sports, camping etc and all I wanted was to chill occasionally so I try to get a happy medium.

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 20/04/2017 12:57

Totally with you BUT if he is usually off work I can see why he wants to cram loads into the week he has off. Maybe he could take them out for a fun day out and let you have a bit of time to recharge your batteries a bit x

Batgirlspants · 20/04/2017 13:01

Boss baby!!! You may need Wine later Grin

RMC123 · 20/04/2017 13:26

I agree with you. Don't get the need to have plans everyday. Last week we were busy from Tues to Sat. Away visiting friends and family. Easter Sunday arrives and my inner mummy guilt and everyone on bloody Facebook says we should be 'making memories' HmmEnvy. The weather was awful. Teenager number 1 wanted to fiddle with his latest guitar purchase, teenager number 2 was gagging for his Xbox. Teenager number 3 (and DH!) wanted to watch football and DD was in her room being creative . Everyone was happy and entertained- I read my book.
Happy days!
Being bored means that kids learn to entertain themselves .

Summerisdone · 20/04/2017 13:42

YANBU
I work 4 days a week and 6 days a week alternately, so whilst I do love doing things with DS on my days off sometimes it's I simply can't be arsed.
I try to go cinema once a month (money permitting) and we go to the forest once a week for a long walk with the dog, I also will plan other things for us to depending on weather and finances but I really don't feel the need to have every single day off doing something.
Today I'm skint and shattered after working 12 hour shifts all four days of the bank holiday as well as my usual 8 hours Tuesday and Wednesday, so DS and I are having a lazy day watching Disney movies and I'll get some housework done too maybe.

TheNaze73 · 20/04/2017 14:21

I'd hate all that. Go with the flow everytime. He sounds way too rigid for life

Chipsahoy · 20/04/2017 14:21

I'm the same. I need routine and I need my calm hour once a day which I normally get post work, pre pick up children from school. I do ok with lack of routine and no me time for a few days, but it gets tough after that. I have PTSD as well as being an introvert so it's crucial for my mental health to have calm time. My senses get overwhelmed easily.

So I always prepare a mixture of activities and time with their grandparents and chill time. We don't do out of the house activities (aside from garden) two days in a row.
Today is a chill day, dc are busy playing lego. Tomorrow is soft play and swimming, sat chill, sun we will do laser quest.

Mayvis · 20/04/2017 14:33

See, I'd categorise picnics, walks, going to the park and spending time in the garden (presumably at home?) as relaxing activities. Not as action packed.

I wouldn't want to go to theme parks everyday but we'd go for a walk or to the park everyday. Even on a school day. Helps us all unwind, get some fresh air and healthy too.

1golfterrace · 20/04/2017 15:51

The holidays obviously don't need to be wall to wall activities. Just a break from the routine of school is lovely.

As a non working parent of school aged children though you need to realise how fortunate you are. So many parents will have booked holiday clubs etc. their holidays may not have been so relaxing.

Dd1 had 4 weeks off for Easter we have done a mix of a few full days out but mainly local trips, parks, dog walks, picnics, shops etc. I am also fortunate enough not to work. Tiring as it can be to spend all day everyday with my children I love it, it is the main reason I do not work.

1golfterrace · 20/04/2017 15:51

The holidays obviously don't need to be wall to wall activities. Just a break from the routine of school is lovely.

As a non working parent of school aged children though you need to realise how fortunate you are. So many parents will have booked holiday clubs etc. their holidays may not have been so relaxing.

Dd1 had 4 weeks off for Easter we have done a mix of a few full days out but mainly local trips, parks, dog walks, picnics, shops etc. I am also fortunate enough not to work. Tiring as it can be to spend all day everyday with my children I love it, it is the main reason I do not work.

Goldfishshoals · 20/04/2017 16:13

Totally agree. My DP insists on knowing what our 'plans' are all the time. Fuck plans. I don't want plans.

This is so familiar. I regularly ask my DP if we can have a nice relaxing 'down day' so I can recharge. He readily agrees - then immediately starts listing all the things he wants us to do that day :s

My only chance of a chilled day is if he buggers off somewhere so I'm very encouraging of him going away to stay with family/friends.

He also tries to plan six or seven three hour activities into eight hours worth of time and is always genuinely surprised that everything ends up rushed and stressful and we didn't have time to do them all. I used to try to point out to him that he was planning to much into the time, but it didn't change anything so now I just listen to his ridiculous plans and internally roll my eyes...

Oblomov17 · 20/04/2017 16:20

Well you were very silly to do 9? Activities. Boating, cinema and theme park. Plus the rest. Come on. No sympathy for a ridiculous amount.