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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Daughter wants to go to Reading?????

72 replies

user1492624207 · 19/04/2017 19:23

Hello,

My 16 year old daughter is currently doing her GCSE's and will be going to Reading festival in the summer- Ex husband bought her the ticket as a birthday gift - and I am in two minds about her attending the festival. My son went to V fest post GCSE and had a great time, however, I think Reading is slightly different than V(?), and after reading some articles of teenagers being rushed to medical tent after "nearly overdosing", has me slightly worried.

She is a very sensible girl and has a nice group of friends going with her, she told me not to worry and that she wont even be allowed to buy alcohol or anything like that at the festival as they're under 18; I am not all too fooled by that though,as I know my son still managed to get pretty wasted and god knows what else at V, down to friends who had managed to smuggle some in.

Her father will be lending her a tent and she is in a good campsite, we -as a family- have been camping plenty of times before and I shall be making sure that she has had a good chat with me beforehand and is well equipped. I still have various worries and wondered if anyone could share any experiences of their own and any tips you have.

This may sound very overprotective but I am only looking out for my daughter... Any advice would be much appreciated!!

Thanks

OP posts:

Littlelegs19 · 20/04/2017 01:01

I went at 16. Picked up my GCSE results and went straight to the train station. Had one of the best weekends of my life! We all took beer in with us but was still served alcohol there but I know things are so much stricter now- it was 16 years ago.
Let her go! Reading is no different to any other festival and You let your DS go to V.

MrsJamin · 20/04/2017 01:11

I live in Reading too... It's very much a post-GCSE festival and there are some great bands playing, let her go! Don't take a smartphone though, get a sim and a cheapo old Nokia that you wouldn't mind losing, they last longer for battery life too. There's a big tea tent manned by reading street pastors who are mostly parents who can give your daughter a free cup of tea and a listening ear if she needs it.

anotherpoisonprince · 20/04/2017 01:20

Mine went to Reading at 16. Had an amazing time. Your DD won't suddenly stop being sensible I shouldn't think.

Batghee · 20/04/2017 01:37

I went to Leeds fest at 16 and yes i did get drunk but i was fine and so are most teens who go. I think if your daughter is not already part of a group which does drugs she is very very unlikely to take drugs at a festival.
You know your daughter and how she is. Shes not going to suddenly completely change character just because shes at a festival.
I think festivals at this age are a rite of passage and you just need to let them do it as long as they are reasonably responsible!!

lavenirestanous · 20/04/2017 01:56

My daughter went to Leeds fest at just turned 17 and loved it. She worked there when she'd just turned 18 and her and her friends refer to it as a "starter" festival. She said she feels a bit old for it now lol! And is moving on to Boomtown and Download this year. Honestly, she'll be fine. It's well policed by staff, and all of the kids I know who have gone have had a great time. I picked up a car load of shattered, smelly teenagers who slept all the way home!

chestylarue52 · 20/04/2017 04:24

I used to go to festivals as a teenager / young adult. One thing my mum always said that I found helpful was, if you get upset or tired or in whatever state and you need me, call me or have the stewards whatever time, I won't be angry, and I'll help you. She used to stress how she wouldn't be cross no matter what.

chestylarue52 · 20/04/2017 04:26

*have the stewards call me

LillianGish · 20/04/2017 06:24

Does she like festivals or is she just going because all her friends are going? I ask because my niece went in similar circumstances last year and absolutely hated it - left after the first night (before the festival had even got going) abandoning her tent (which a group of men had wee-ed on in the middle of the night). Being surrounded by a lot of much older men and women drinking and taking drugs was not what she had been expecting. She'd saved up for ages to go and paid for her own ticket and transport - the reality fell very far short of her expectations. She hated not being able to go to the loo or have a proper wash - all par for the course in festival going obviously, but not what she had been expecting.

Iamastonished · 20/04/2017 06:31

Ditto the advice of taking a "festival phone" - a non smart phone with a battery that will last for several days.

Scribblegirl · 20/04/2017 06:37

I went to Reading post GCSEs (11 years ago). I also went to V the same year. Unless something has changed substantially I would much rather send my kid to Reading at that age - whilst a bit wild, it has a bit of a Swallows and Amazons with booze and bands vibe no adults and everyone trying to survive. V on the other hand there were loads of non-teens around. It felt much less safe and there were wuite a few vaguely pervy 30-something blokes.

Oblomov17 · 20/04/2017 06:58

I agree. I will be telling ds1 that he can call me, no matter what.

exWifebeginsat40 · 20/04/2017 07:26

big applause for ginger and all festy stewards everywhere! yes yes yes - in case of any trouble grab a steward.

ineedteanownotlater · 20/04/2017 07:30

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B01I0WXZNS/ref=mp ssa 1112?ie=UTF8&qid=1492669736&sr=8-12&pi=AC SX2366SY340QL65&keywords=solar+charger

Get one of those so she can keep her phone charged. It's a battery pack that is solar powered so she can always have power in her phone

wigston · 20/04/2017 09:30

Let her go. I went age 17 and loved it. My parents were quite relaxed because I was fairly sensible. And as a result I never did anything stupid because I respected the respect they gave me. There was nothing to rebel against. I did smoke the odd joint, and my folks allowed me to have parties when they went away. My mum even said cannabis was okay but she'd prefer it outside the house and didn't really like the tobacco element! I would never have taken any other drugs. I have great memories of the festival...I went with 3 boys for my first time - sharing a 3-man tent. Went for a few years and by 22 felt quite old there!

Matilde18 · 20/04/2017 09:53

Thanks all for the replies! For everyone thinking I treated my son more fairly; I was only worried about my daughter going because the experience at V with my son wasn't so positive.. He ended up with piss all over his tent, someone left bags of shit near their set up and on the last night he got so wasted that he fell asleep outside of the tent (I have no idea how he didn't freeze to death??).

I shall be letting my daughter go, I just hope she continues to be sensible. How many friends would you think is safe to go with(?)- she is currently going with 2 people (1 boy and 1 girl), but is meeting up with other people whilst there- is that enough people to go with?

Thanks all

Scribblegirl · 20/04/2017 12:05

Yeah, V is rough [grins]

I think three people is actually plenty. The worry is when you're in a big gang and you can assume someone's with someone else when they're actually wandering around lost at 3am. Three will keep an eye out for each other.

Just make sure they know how to put up a decent tent and that they take my three essentials:

bin bags (preferrably rubble sacks from the supermarket - you can sit on them, carry stuff in them, patch up tents with them)
gaffa tape (so useful, for everything)
a torch

Hope she enjoys!

kirstxx · 20/04/2017 12:36

I've stewarded at Reading 3 times over the last couple of years.

Majority seem to be teens your DD's age celebrating GCSE results. I dealt with a fair few kids being sick on themselves but there's always help around in the form of stewards or medics.

If she's sensible anyway she should be fine. I'd second no valuables, just a phone to make calls on because the amount that get handed in to us is huge, never mind the ones that get pocketed after they've been dropped.

exWifebeginsat40 · 20/04/2017 15:00

and let's not forget that Reading provided one of the best festival moments of all time when Daphne and Celeste got bottled relentlessly during their set in 2000.

justanotheryoungmother · 20/04/2017 15:04

I went for my 18th birthday, turned 18 over the weekend and I'd be hesitant (this was 2015) to let my 17 year old go given what I saw but that may just be me

awesomeness · 20/04/2017 19:39

Most 16 year olds go....

Ive been both v and reading and makes me wonder why it was ok for him to go to one but not her to go to the other.....

Roomster101 · 20/04/2017 19:53

I would be a bit hesitant given what festivals were like when I went in the 80s (e.g. Glastonbury was completely lawless at the time), but if she is sensible and those who have been to Reading say it is well policed/stewarded, I would let her go.

LittleWingSoul · 20/04/2017 20:14

exWife I remember that year!

A festival at that age isn't necessarily a gateway to hard drugs and destitution, but an amazing life-experience.

One that I continue to experience again and again...! Love a good festival, me.

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