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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want daughter having a sleepover in my home

57 replies

charley30 · 19/04/2017 18:42

I'm worrying myself sick . It's all she wants to do over Easter . I really feel if I said no she'd be upset . She's an only child just moved to a new school and gas just met a bunch of great kids . She's slept over in one of their houses lately but then got this idea and it's been carried on from there as they're off school . I don't have any idea where to start what do they need how to keep them entertained . They're 11 oh in such a tizz IV been so unwell since Christmas with thyroid iv lost a lot of confidence and trying not to show it . Was thinking of giving them the living room any ideas?

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 19/04/2017 19:31

Bring her mattress downstairs and put it on the floor, how many sofas do you have? A child on each etc. They'll then to bring duvets or sleeping bags and a pillow

happypoobum · 19/04/2017 19:32

You don't need air beds. Asking the kids to bring sleeping bags and pillows is perfectly acceptable.

YY to ordering in pizza if you can afford it - or get them to make their own if not. At 11 that should be quite a fun activity for them.

Get loads of drink and biscuits (don't worry about nutrition, it's a party!) but not cola.

Give them the lounge and a couple of suitable DVDs.

Tell them lights out at 11 and no noise after midnight or you will be calling the parents.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon Flowers

XsaraHale · 19/04/2017 19:33

It can seem a daunting 'task' as you have not had experience of a sleepover before, hopefully medication will help...your baby girl is growing up and you are sharing in all the memory making, how lovely!
DVDs, popcorn, pizza, as pp has mentioned clear rules...just mention it casually, if you feel that is being too harsh with rules.
You are taking a big step for your recovery journey and I am sure once you have conquered the sleepover...it'll just build and build on your confidence!
Wishing you lots of luck and have a fun night!

SnowBallsAreHere · 19/04/2017 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotelEuphoria · 19/04/2017 19:34

I wouldn't take another child phone off them, it is their parents choice whether they have their phone unsupervised or not.

Yes to pizza, pop, film and sleeping bags in the floor and tell the parents what time to collect them. They will be awake at 6:00 so don't let them stay that late the next day, you will regret it.

ratspeaker · 19/04/2017 19:38

You can buy airbeds in Argos.
Tescos have some online, maybe in stores.
Camping stores
Ebay

ratspeaker · 19/04/2017 19:41

If getting airbeds also buy a pump to inflate them.
Usually available in the same shops

www.tesco.com/direct/tesco-electric-air-pump/100-1265.prd?source=others

ifcatscouldtalk · 19/04/2017 19:43

If i wasn't feeling well i would probably postpone the idea. With my own daughter she has been to some bigger sleepovers at friend's houses. I'm not keen on having a larger group of 12/13 year old girls so she has 1 friend stay at a time at my house. They sleep in the living room on the sofas and they get a couple of bacon sarnies in the morning. Maybe my own bad experience but when I've done parties (not sleepovers) with bigger groups of girls a few hours was plenty tbh.

Isadora2007 · 19/04/2017 19:45

Set up snacks. Tell them if you hear nothing they can do as they please within reason. At 11 that should be no bother.

I had a sleepover for 6 nine year olds 11 days after giving birth to DC3... now that was a toughie! Though at least I had some adoring big girl company for baby DD at 2am!!! 😂

ghostwatch · 19/04/2017 19:47

At that age they don't need entertaining I just chuck mine in front room, with quilts/ pillows plus scary/funny DVD, chuck a pizza & bottle of fizz & massive bag of marsh mellows. Let the giggling commence

brasty · 19/04/2017 19:56

TESCO have airbeds for £5 each. If you don't have spare duvets, tell them they need to bring sleeping bags and a pillow.

Flyinggeese · 19/04/2017 19:58

Hey OP, I remember feeling like this but then my son's two best mates (twin brothers) moved to another area so invited them for a sleepover as a treat. I massively over thought it but it was fine! They come maybe once a month now and my son goes there too. I'm at the stage I hardly notice them, it's easy. Keep an eye on them of course but they're no bother.

They're 13 now. They chat, watch a film (with sweets or popcorn), put music on etc. I have air beds for them (cheap from Decathlon) and they bring duvets. I make sure they have water near beds and tell them lights out at midnight and they get on with it. Big breakfast in the morning. I love a busy house and it's nice, there funny too.

Go for it OP (post on here on the night if it helps?), your daughter will be so happy!

Flyinggeese · 19/04/2017 20:00

Could you maybe invite one friend first, then have all three as a special treat for a birthday maybe later in the year? My son is an only one too. It's lovely your daughter has made friends like this.

Jux · 19/04/2017 20:02

DD's friends brought sleeping bags, pillows, blankets etc and just slept on the floor or fouht over sofas. Just chuck all your spare bedding in the sitting rm, make sure they have the remote (do you have netflx? Otherwise borrow or buy some dvds), order pizza and make sure you have plenty fo gin in the kitchen.

Starlight2345 · 19/04/2017 20:05

I am currently have 3 friends of my DS (10) for a sleepover...They are playing x box, had pizza..

Only one has a phone...Told it will be left downstairs.. I am not responsible for what he does on phone,but in my house it isn't happening.

My DS doesn't have a phone,partly as it isn't needed but also because he isn't mature enough to think about what he messages he sends.

Amperoblue · 19/04/2017 20:14

Sleepovers are the easiest! There is no onus on you to entertain at all. I usually get them after tea at their own house. I do usually have a muck about game (it's boys not yet teens) - something in the dark or in the garden. By 8 it's screens or a TV. Off at 10pm. They chat endlessly . Tell them to sleep. Screens at 7am no earlier. Breakfast at 9. Done.

gabsdot · 19/04/2017 20:33

Sleepovers are the worst. Noise all night and then sleepy grumpy kids next day.
We do lateovers where everyone goes home at 10

welovepancakes · 19/04/2017 20:43

We have lots of sleepovers but only for one child at a time. We're strict about bedtimes. Calm down by 9.30pm. Lights out by 10pm latest. Friends know they are welcome to come for sleepovers, and fairly frequently, but only on that basis.

I think it's unreasonable to allow children to stay up all night, then send them home grumpy in the morning, when they're in no fit state for the rest of the weekend

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 19/04/2017 21:30

I bought 2 double air beds and one single on Amazon (if you're anywhere near Epsom I can lend! Lol)... and my DD has a really big daybed as her bed so two slept on that... then I just used spare duvets and throws and all the cushions and made it like one big bed nest in the room... they loved it.

Sylvannas · 19/04/2017 21:40

DDS matress in the lounge and sofas is perfectly fine. The children can bring their own duvets and pillows. Let them camp out in the lounge with some junk food and a couple of dvds. Job jobbed!

Lonelymummyof1 · 20/04/2017 01:44

Trust me my mum loved sleepoverd I used to have a bedroom full of pre teens then teenagers.
Every weekend was like some sort of youth hostel.
If you ask her why it her reasons would be we would entertain eachother and meant I was less annoying to her haha
Go for it you might enjoy it !

steff13 · 20/04/2017 01:58

I've never been to a sleepover with a bed time.

Batghee · 20/04/2017 02:07

3 will be fine!! all you will have to worry about is them giggling a bit throughout the night and waking you up!

Order a pizza! Get a list of dvds that they may want to watch off of your daughter (then google them to check out if they age appropriate) then order them off amazon. Or if you have Netflix use that.

Just chuck a load of pillows and duvets in the living room with them. Some pringles and some bottles of coke or whatever.

It will really not be as bad as you think and its only one night.

Set a lights out time of about 10pm and you will probs have to go in a couple of times to tell them to settle down after that. They wont stay awake all night, not if theres only 4 of them and they are 11 years old!!

I think you should have a go at doing it just because if your daughter has only just made these friends it would be very helpful to her in solidifying the friendships. Thats pretty important when you start a new school!

Batghee · 20/04/2017 02:08

also you dont really need airbeds. Most kids that age will not mind just sleeping on the sofa or the floor with some duvets and pillows. You could ask them to bring their own duvets or sleeping bags if you dont have enough.

junebirthdaygirl · 20/04/2017 09:05

I would invite all three. As she is new you dont want her blamed for breaking up existing friendships. Just do one . Say to yourself you an bear anything once and it will be a pain but your dd will be deligbhted. No airbeds. We usually put quilts on floor to soften it a bit the own sleeping bags. Be prepared for loud laughing ad high pitched screeching then hopefully eventual silence. Saying all that some of my dds friends never had sleepovers and she didnt care. I rather have a big gang and get it over in one go. You will find yourself saying at one one stage..never again..but do it for your dd. Memories and all that!!!