Argument over access to kids

[mrsmcginty]

I was just wondering if I could get some other perspectives on this. Sorry this will be a long one. I have 3 DC's and broke up with their father when the youngest was just a few months old. The break up was mutual as he had found someone else and i had given up on the relationship prior to that.
The break up was fairly amicable, he moved into a house nearby and has drifted in and out of our lives fairly inconsistently. however, since I went back to work 2 years ago he was always done the Thursday childcare and has been fairly reliable with this.
since January he asked to have the dc's 2 nights a week.
I agreed to this but have had reservations that it's too long to be away from me and me from them.
Tonight I said to him that I wanted to reduce the nights to 1 a week, he would see them still for the full 2 days. He completely lost his temper, shouting, telling me to F off, that he would get a lawyer's letter, that
It was nothing to do with the kids that it was just me wanting him out of their lives.
It has really shaken me, I know if I phone my friends they will just totally see my side which I appreciate but I wondered how it seemed from mumsnet's point of view. Thanks...

perhaps you can suggest that he builds up to more contact so that the children are comfortable with him.

If he refuses then tell him to go to court to arrange access - you can bet they will expect him to do weekends!

Unless he works in a weekend specific job and that could impact on the maintenance payment, not saying that this is the case here tho

have had reservations that it's too long to be away from me and me from them.

and I wonder if he feels the same. He shouldn't have shouted but he is their father and you should be thinking about him and the children, not just yourself.