AIBU to ask my XP to pay child maintenance. I have a DS who has a residence order in place to live with me his father. His mother was only allowed supervised contact for 2 years and now she has him stay over one Saturday every 2 weeks. She also fetches him from school 2 days a week but brings him back to me at 7pm to sleep.(When it is convenient). She works full time and lives with her new partner who also works full time. I work full time and have a reasonable job but nothing exceptional and have had to put any career aspirations aside to look after my DS.
When I ask for money for anything it turns into a big argument and she will refuse to fetch DS from school half an hour before he is due to finish. Then she won't see my DS for weeks after and he feels bad.
She says if she had him she would expect nothing from me. I was told to take her too court by social services as she was always drunk and the police removed him from her. So she says I took her to court now I need to take responsibility for my actions.
AIBU?
Mother paying maintenance.
Justfatherandson · 18/04/2017 15:57
Sorry you're facing this OP, of course any parent should pay to support their child, but from bitter experience I know what you are facing regarding the non resident parent taking it out on the child effectively by throwing a strop and not seeing them for weeks on end, it makes you feel like the bad one because DC is upset at sudden lack of contact, because you asked for money for care of their own DC - and IMO that's exactly why she's doing it, a kind of emotional blackmail so you stop asking. It's also very tempting to just struggle on and do without the money because you don't want the backlash of DC being hurt again.
Go down official channels - I didn't and now I regret it because that money would have made a lot of difference to my dd and now she's a bit older she can see things a little clearer and understands a bit more.
Good luck 
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