My brother-in-law is getting married this August on a Wednesday and we are invited (us and our youngest child, as he has a child of a similar age - while our teenagers aren't) to the ceremony at the venue followed by a sit down lunch (approx 25/30 people attending). Two weeks later after their honeymoon they are having an evening party closer to their home for 100 that we are also invited to but are not expected to attend.
So my DH and I are debating if 'family come first'? This is because it falls bang in the middle of the only week in the summer holidays that we can take the week off work and head off with our youngest child.
Then of course there is the 'backstory'...it is the third wedding for them both - with the other weddings also being complete wham bang full on affairs. We attended my brother-in-laws 2nd wedding which was a whole weekend away from our at that stage young children - so we have made the effort previously.
Then there is the reality - that we are not close nor actually have anything in common. We don't regularly see them - not at Christmas etc or at any organised family events. They come up to where we live to see my DH parents at holidays but we usually don't meet up - nor do they drop in when they pass our house. Maybe they don't like us?!
However we do get on with my mother-in-law and even though she doesn't say it, I am sure she likes the idea of all three of her sons together for a lunch (it being 8 year since they were last together and that was a funeral!) Do we risk make a mother sad?
So do we suck it up and put 'the idea of family first' and deal with it - missing our summer break (we can obviously go for a shorter 3 days - not ideal!) or decide that really there comes a time when there really have been enough weddings and it is alright to just say no!