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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave my toddler in her cot..

34 replies

C4Envelope · 17/04/2017 12:43

Currently going through the 18month sleep regression thats what im telling myself . Has been a decent sleeper and napper up until last week. She is shattered having been up since 7am as usual, had her morning poo, eaten a nice big breakfast and had lots of milk so hunger is not the issue. Put her in her cot at half past 11. Settled her with teddy and dummy and blanket... She is still talking away to herself and rattling about the cot despite me re settling her a few fucking hundred times. Do I just leave her in her cot? She is happy and fed and dry and warm enough. I feel guilty that shes been shut in a darkened room for an hour and ten minutes but surely she needs to learn that it is nap time and no, mummy isnt going to take her back downstairs - its time to fucking nap! If she started crying or sounded upset I would be there to soothe her in a heartbeat.

I know she is definately tired - rubbing eyes, yawning, grabbing the cushions from the couches and making herself a nest to curl up in. She becomes a monster late afternoon if she doesn't nap and I am finding it so hard to deal with.

For some perspective - I work evenings - late so I depend on a 30min snooze in the afternoon too!

Any advice?

OP posts:
Waitingonasmile · 17/04/2017 12:45

I generally give up after 20 mins and try again in a few hours, but if she's not upset there's no harm leaving her.

Yukbuck · 17/04/2017 12:48

If she is not upset and is quite happy and safe in the cot then I think what you're doing is fine. It's important for you to get some heads pace. And like you said, if she got upset you'd be there very quickly.

Original poster
C4Envelope · 17/04/2017 12:49

Thanks @waiting, I ended up doing that yesterday as we had plans but poor DD was so overtired she refused a nap later too, tea time and bed time were not fun last night!

Its so frustrating as I have the video monitor and I can just watch her playing with her blanket/feet/dummy wishing she will drop off any minute...

Soeaking of which.... silence ....

holding breathe

OP posts:
Original poster
C4Envelope · 17/04/2017 12:50

Nope shes still awake. And I believe making an attempt at singing ... Halo

OP posts:
continues · 17/04/2017 12:52

I often let DS get on with it. Sometimes a little 'quiet' time is necessary for everyones sanity. He babbles etc. I would never leave him if he were upset.

Cheby · 17/04/2017 12:52

Don't want to worry you but I know of a few kids who dropped their last nap at 18 months...

helenfagain · 17/04/2017 12:53

If she's not upset then I would leave her a while and see if she settles. Ds went through a stage of this around 18 months, only lasted a couple of weeks.

user1491572121 · 17/04/2017 12:54

I always left mine OP. They're 12 and 9 now and fine! You need to have a rest.

Cheby · 17/04/2017 12:56

Attempting to be slightly more constructive, we used to have to go for walks in the buggy or sling to get DD1 off to sleep at that age. Then I'd park buggy in the hall and leave her there to sleep. Once spent 30 minutes traipsing round the block in the pouring rain to get her off to sleep. Was totally worth it when I got to put my feet up for 90 mins in peace and quiet!

Original poster
C4Envelope · 17/04/2017 12:58

@cheby this is my fear! I read up on it a bit and there could be a few causes - teething, seperation anxiety or defiance/independence resulting in them fighting the nap. It must be the latter as all her teeth are in thank fuck and she is a happy wee soul and doesnt seem to be missing me at all. I swear she knows what she is doing... every fifteen minutes or so there is silence and stillness. Then shes off again! It just worries me because I know I will have to deal with overtired monster baby later when I should be getting ready to face work.

OP posts:
SkimbleshanksTheRailwayCat · 17/04/2017 13:00

Take her for a drive? I have resorted to this when my dc went through a nap refusing stage at 2 yo and I didn't want to deal with the overtired tantrums later.

Original poster
C4Envelope · 17/04/2017 13:02

And thank you all you have made me feel better about leaving her to it - if by half one she is not asleep I will take her out in the pram as two hours solitary confinement seems a bit much. I'Il say this though - I have got loads of housework done! and im going to be exhausted at work later because of this

OP posts:
peppersaunt · 17/04/2017 13:07

My DD was only 18 months and had been awake through "nap time" for a couple of weeks. One day I left her in her cot with her favourite book only to find she'd ripped every page just a bit (50 or so pages). Final nap...

Allthebestnamesareused · 17/04/2017 13:11

Does she have a nap after lunch?

It may be that she is ready for just one nap a day at that age.

However if she plays happily in the cot and it gives you a break I'd leave her to it but not insist on it being "nap" time just "quiet" time.

GreyBird84 · 17/04/2017 13:12

DS dropped his day time nap b4 even turned one!

Kalizahara · 17/04/2017 13:17

I'm not too sure, are you sure she needs her nap so early?

Ds is slightly older and has had his nap after lunch, so 12.30-1.00pm for several months now.

You both need the rest but maybe try her for a later nap?

Happyhippy45 · 17/04/2017 13:25

Erm both of mine stopped napping before age 2.
They would get tired but not enough to sleep. We'd snuggle on the couch and I'd read a book to them or I'd put them in their cot playpen and let them chill. Sadly I couldn't use tv for my dd as she wasn't interested. Ds was happy to veg out and watch it though.

If she's happy enough just leave her be for quiet time.

dataandspot · 17/04/2017 13:26

I wouldn't keep going back into the room. This might be stopping her from understanding its sleep time.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 17/04/2017 13:26

No problem at all leaving her there if she's happy enough and I wouldn't rush in if she starts grizzling either, when they're fighting sleep a wee grizzle can send them off.

Given she was 'nesting' you might need a slightly earlier nap rather than a later one, it sounds more like she's 'gone past the bit where you go to sleep more easily.

As for you...what are you doing, doing housework?! You should have been resting if you have to go to work & are already shattered! Silly billy!

ppeatfruit · 17/04/2017 13:28

I'd take her out but for a proper WALK (or toddle) Grin, tire her out in the park. If you took her in the morning she'll sleep well then wouldn't she?

SquedgieBeckenheim · 17/04/2017 13:29

Around 18 months DD changes her bap time to 12 rather than 11. Have you tried putting her down later?

Wotrewelookinat · 17/04/2017 13:33

DD 1 dropped all daytime napping by 18 months. I tried all sorts ...leaving in cot, snuggling her on the sofa, taking out in buggy and car, but she was having none of it!

sticklebrix · 17/04/2017 13:45

2 naps a day sounds like quite a lot for an 18 month old. Ours would sleep for 1-2 hours after lunch at that age. They all dropped their naps completely at around age 2.

10storeylovesong · 17/04/2017 13:45

Yep, my DS dropped all daytime naps around 13-14 months (unless we did a decent length car journey mid afternoon).

Jooni · 17/04/2017 13:49

Haha my 18 monther has just finished doing exactly the same! She's finally asleep now but I got the full repertoire of singing, rattling, stomping, Peppa Pig reenactments, nest-making, etc. etc. before she dropped off. I just leave her to it unless she's upset.