"If you ever give me grandchildren"

[hhorvath]

My dad has been making comments like "if you ever give me grandchildren", "I'm ready for grandchildren now" at family events.

I find it pressurising because I don't view my body as a mechanism for providing him with a grandchild.

I've suffered severe mental health problems since I hit puberty and have been in several abusive relationships.

My life is just about on track, but I'm retraining in a career with an intensive pathway, and am a long way off meeting someone or even considering kids.

I love my dad and he's great.

My mum and dad had me at 26 and I'm now 27 so they obviously think I'm "ready", but a lot of the trouble they had when I was younger was possibly due to them being youngish. My childhood was good overall, but punctuated by violent fights between my parents, and my mum and me.

AIBU to think I should have kids if I'm ever ready, not to give my parents grandchildren?

Get him a hamster or something. He sounds bored.

"Well I'm not. So can we drop it now?"

And walk away.

Rinse and repeat.

What king said.

Oops forgot these

"I'm ready for grandchildren"
Reply with
"I'm ready for my inheritance"

He's only 53 and talking like an old Victorian father!
You do what you like with your life.
Try to laugh it off when he pipes up. Say something along the lines of 'GC will come along when THEY want to Dad.' That will shut him up hopefully.

King Peanut

So he's 53. Why not suggest he fosters children. Say you're ready for a younger sibling now.

I had the same with my MIL.
Just be polite but to the point.
"When am I going to get my grandchildren?"
"I will have MY children when I feel I'm ready. As you know having children is a huge commitment. It will turn my life around. I'll do that when I'm ready to, not because somebody else wants me to".

Ooohh!!! Pleasa start saying "I'm ready for my inheritance now!" EVERY time he says it, maybe he'll get the hint. You dont have children for grandchildren and you don't have parents for inheritance.

At 53 he could have another child himself. Tell him that you´re ready for a sibling now.