I have an 8 year old daughter with my exH. He refuses to communicate with me at all. He sees her on alternate weekends and some extra in holidays. He has never asked how she is in between this. I inform him of school dates, extra curricular activity competitions, details to order school photos Ect. He hasn't ever responded or attended.
When she's there during holidays, I send a message to ask how she is after day 3-4. He ignores me, as he does when I ask to speak to her. DD also asks to speak to me, and he refuses. I would never do this if either asked to speak one another while she was here - which sadly, they don't. DD often comes home upset at not having been allowed to speak to me and I feel it isn't fair on her.
It's also completely impractical not to communicate. DD came home tonight with a sickness bug so I have to take tomorrow off work at short notice when he's known since Thursday that she's ill. He collected her on Monday from her dance club and she'd asked to call me to tell me she'd been picked for the show which begins rehearsals this week as she was excited and because she knew I'd have to change shifts at work. He refused to let her call so now either I really piss my boss off or she has to miss rehearsals.
He refuses to discuss holiday dates so I end up sounding dictatorial because I send dates and say if you don't say otherwise by X date, these dates will stay planned. He then uses this as an excuse to DD, saying they have a holiday booked but it's when she's at home because I wouldn't let her go on those dates 
She's supposed to be going to her dad's for over two weeks in the summer holidays and I don't want to go that long not knowing how she is and knowing she's upset because she can't phone home. AIBU to think he is being unreasonable to refuse to communicate with me?