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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say DS(15) should go to swimming?

23 replies

AuntieClockwise · 16/04/2017 14:44

Despite it being Easter Sunday today, Ds's swimming club is on tonight and he says he doesn't want to go. He goes every week and would like a week off today as were are relaxing today. However, I think it is good to go When we can as I have paid and it's good to show face even if one doesn't really want to go. DD doesn't want to go either as she has to sit around for 1.5 hours and is huffy about it. Do you think I should make him go? Tcvbb

OP posts:
StillDrivingMeBonkers · 16/04/2017 14:45

He's 15, he can make his own decisions.

Sirzy · 16/04/2017 14:47

I am normally one for going to things but Easter Sunday? Nah I would give it a miss, I can't imagine him being the only one not there!

WorraLiberty · 16/04/2017 14:47

Why does your DD have to sit around for 1.5 hours while her 15yr old brother goes swimming?

halobean · 16/04/2017 14:48

I think you are right. A commitment is a commitment. It is important children learn dedication and to follow through with their promises. If he doesn't enjoy the activity any more then that is a different story, but he shouldn't just duck out of stuff because he can't be arsed.

InfiniteCurve · 16/04/2017 14:49

No.
It's good to be committed to what you do - but if this club is still going on on Easter Day,when do they get a break?

MrsMozart · 16/04/2017 14:49

His sport his choice.

Everyone needs downtime.

Pinkheart5915 · 16/04/2017 14:50

I don't see the problem with 1 day off for a weekend like easter tbh, for 1.5 hours would I bother moaning at him to go probably not

Willow2017 · 16/04/2017 15:01

It's not the end of the world if he doesn't go for once in a holiday weekend. It's not going to set him back weeks. My ds didn't do swimming yesterday no harm having a day off once in a while.

FATEdestiny · 16/04/2017 15:02

Our swimming club isn't on tonight or tomorrow - so we get two nights off

Sorry for gloating op not really sorry Grin

Anyhoo - I would be insisting my children went if it was on.

They are asked every April if they wish to carry on for another year. I wouldn't pay ASA membership if they weren't and I don't mind at all if they now want to stop. But they all (3 children) choose to continue with swimming. In saying that, that is their commitment.

So they are expected to train hard, even when they don't feel like it and turn up week in and week out. That's what commitment is.

They have a choice to not train and just swim for fun. If they choose to train, they are expected to be committed. End of story

khajiit13 · 16/04/2017 15:04

I'd tell him I think he should go but I wouldn't make him.

CountMagnus · 16/04/2017 15:42

At 15, forcing him to go is likely to be counter productive. He is not going to go backwards by missing one session, and missing one session (as long as it's not a regular thing to miss sessions) is not showing a lack of commitment.

Trifleorbust · 16/04/2017 16:02

As a one-off I think you are being unreasonable. It's not a team commitment so it only affects him, and you because you have paid. But missing something once isn't the end of the world from a financial perspective. If he keeps doing it then fair enough, cancel the club.

Lowdoorinthewal1 · 16/04/2017 16:10

If he only swims once a week at 15 I take it swimming isn't his main thing? DS swims 3.5hrs a week and he is 6.5!

If he is not a serious swimmer then surely it's not going to hurt if he misses? If it's part of something bigger like triathlon training, then yeah he should go.

LadyPW · 16/04/2017 16:12

Give him the week off. If the shops can actually shut for once then surely he can stay home.

RedSkyAtNight · 16/04/2017 16:45

Seems very unfair to make DD go and hang around for 1.5 hours(does she do this every week - why?) apart from anything else.

SandyDays · 16/04/2017 16:49

We all need a break sometimes, by allowing him to have this week off he may well go back next week with renewed enthusiasm and determination to train.

DubiousCredentials · 16/04/2017 16:53

Hanging around while a sibling does a club isn't unusual is it?

Kayakinggirl · 16/04/2017 16:57

Is it a week off or one session? If he is getting back to training tomorrow then that is fine but it can be a slippery slope!
What is he currently training for?
I my opinion may not be the best as currently on the sofa hurting and hungry (trying not to eat DSD's Easter egg) after a killer out door masters session this afternoon.

RedSkyAtNight · 16/04/2017 16:58

It is if it's 1.5 hours every Sunday! Unless DD normally does something else that's not in during the time.

DubiousCredentials · 16/04/2017 17:12

Maybe the pool is a 30 min drive from home and the dd is too young to leave? It wouldn't be worth returning home and going back again from where we live to the nearest pool.

honeycheeerios · 16/04/2017 17:23

Oh give the kid a break, I couldn't be arsed going swimming after a relaxing day lazing around eating chocolate.

FATEdestiny · 16/04/2017 21:22

Did he go OP?

Original poster
AuntieClockwise · 17/04/2017 13:01

No,he did not go

OP posts:
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