To feel worried for my friend who is leaving her good job to "become an entrepreneur"?

[Evelight]

She is one of my closest friend- we have known each other for several yrs, supported each other through a lot etc.

She is well educated in her field.

She has a good job which was her "dream job" when she first got it. However over the past few months she has been telling me it has become really toxic workplace- some instances of classic workplace bullying ad sexism (yeah yeah, female in highly male dominated industry yada yada), to the extent she wanted to complain to the Human Rights Commission in our area etc. She has also been looking around for other jobs, but we live in a small city where specialized jobs are hard to come by.

She is quite good at what she does (I understand- it's not my field and I know nothing about it)- but she raised some impressive grants and funds.

I am wondering if that success has gone to her head? She now says she is definitely not renewing her contract- and this is where the tricky part comes in- she seems to not have a real concrete plan beyond saying "entrepreneur" a lot.

I told her the bit about 'easier to find a job when you have a job" etc. I don't want to depress her or alienate her by recounting statistics of failed small businesses, or pointing out that most successful entrepreneurs usually have really strong family connections and capital, which she doesn't. I know we all buy into this myth of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps"- just recently we were watching this show on Netflix about how the single mom -college dropout- after 20 years of being a SAHM suddenly becomes a "green energy consultant" and launches and runs her own consultancy- I mean come on!!!

She does not have any family support and has a bunch of student loans.

Honestly though, her plans aren't even that clear! last night she was telling me she was talking about setting up an eco-travel-adventure agency - I mean I don't know business and eco travel tavel adventure- but it can't be that easy! Especially in a poorish, non-central small city! Especially when you don't have capital! And no experience of the travel business! Again, I didn't want to turn her off or sound unsupportive, so I just nodded my head while thinking "nooooo- please don't give up your job!"

Anyway, I can't see I can do much- WWYD/ or say? If anything?

Good lord OP. your latest post is dripping in vitriol and negativity. We are just pointing out the obvious. Perhaps re-read it?

In my day to day life I am infinitely positive. I also run three businesses. Which makes me one of your DREADED entrepreneurs.

I hope your 'friend' has some real life support from someone less negative and resentful.

OP I understood what you meant, it didn't come across badly to me.

Really?
When failing means wiping out your savings, self esteem, wasting a few years of earning potential & possibly discrediting your professional reputation alongside?

Absolutely. There's also the chance that your life will be exponentially better.

Some people will never take the chance, I don't blame them. I'd never rain on the parade of those who want to try, though.

Unless I'm married to them and my future is tied to theirs. Then I'd give my 2 cents' worth.

I also have two children to support, so yeah, I am risk-adverse, cautious, and yearning for economic stability.

Well that makes sense. Nothing wrong with that. We can't all be entrepreneurs.

I'm not sure offering the chance to talk about the dis/advantages counts as 'raining on her parade'. OP won't be saying 'what's the point if even trying, it's not gonna work', I expect she'll take a much more measured approach and provide her friend with the chance to have a balanced discussion on the topic. The point isn't to go in aiming to dissuade her, but just to make sure help her come across different perspectives she doesn't seem to be considering on her own. Having a sounding board for honest, robust discussion is priceless. She's lucky to have a friend like the OP.

"OP won't be saying 'what's the point if even trying, it's not gonna work',"

No- I won't- and some ppl upthread gave some useful suggestions about how to discuss it in a supportive-yet-thoughtful way which I plan to implement. My struggle so far is trying to strike a right balance between being supportive, and also trying to hide that feeling of worry "noooooo doooon't" which comes across me when she raises it.

FWIW, I want to reassure ppl and clarify that when she talks about the sexism/toxic workplace, I am fully supportive of her, and not at all dismissive. In fact that now makes my position re buuuttttt are you sure you want to actually give up a steady pay cheque- even more difficult to manage, iyswim.

from what you've said OP, this is far from some tone deaf 15 year old going onto X Factor and thinking they are going to be the next Beyonce.

She is well educated in her field. She has a good job which was her "dream job" when she first got it. She is quite good at what she does (I understand- it's not my field and I know nothing about it)- but she raised some impressive grants and funds.

it sounds like she's throwing ideas around and brainstorming. if she's as smart as she sounds then she will definitely do a business plan - there's no other way she could have previously raised grants without going through this or a similar process.

you've admitted you are jealous of her...perhaps accept that this is blinding your ability to support her and try to get on board. the risk then is that she will set up a fabulous business that delivers everything she hopes and more - which may well make you even sicker with envy.

i wish her and you all the best. jealousy and envy can ruin friendships.