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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Another MIL one aaargh

39 replies

DontGiveAFlying · 14/04/2017 00:24

Currently staying with MIL for 2 nights without dh. It's a bungalow.

13yo ds wants to watch tv as he can't sleep. He's not disturbing either of us and we have no plans tomorrow. He has the tv on low volume and has shut the living room door leaving a tiny crack open as we do normally have an open door policy at home. He is a sensible and well-behaved boy and it's the school holidays.

MIL just called out to me from the next bedroom "I don't want him watching TV, I'm going to tell him to turn it off" I got up and explained that I had just said that he could watch and she got a bit lot huffy.

Wibu???

OP posts:

hellopeoplehowareyou · 14/04/2017 01:21

Tell her to take a chill pill it's the holidays!

Italiangreyhound · 14/04/2017 01:33

YANBU but it is her home. She is either trying to show that (it is her home) or teach you how to parent either way it's only two days. So smile and wave.

MrsMcMoo · 14/04/2017 01:42

Yanbu, and best of British for the weekend ahead!

Whereismumhiding2 · 14/04/2017 01:47

Glad to see you realised ywb(abit)u and have started to chill. Awkw, to have said yes without realising she'd hate it! She doesn't sound a night owl or a hipster Gran, so midnight TV watching for a 13 y.o. in her house you now know is a tad late/ unexpected for her liking. Definitely try his phone or even a magazine next time. My X-MIL's 'Yours Truly' selection always sent me off to sleep.

If it gives broader picture, I'm not allowed to watch TV at midnight either at my own parents house when i stay over theirs. And I'm 40something. The noise vibrations through house structure disturb them (both hard of hearing) in an otherwise still night. But mostly as they don't trust the TV, so it gets turned off at the plug before bed. All doors get shut for fire containment safety. Or they can't sleep soundly and have to get up at 2am to recheck the plug situ. They don't trust the washing machine or kettle overnight also (plug off) but the microwave and fridge are sound

It makes me smile (they have a valid point), and it's their house, their rules.

Whereismumhiding2 · 14/04/2017 02:04

Pyjong
Gin/Gun.... what court would convict you for a spelling mistake?

And

Italian
...It's only two days ...Smile and wave

Ladies, I laughed so suddenly, two startled cats just bolted off my bed and crashed into a box on landing - I've just been told off by woken up teenage DD for reading MN this late!

Cwandri · 14/04/2017 02:31

Yes, 13, if everyone else is in bed, I guess he should be too.

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/04/2017 03:11

I've just been told off by woken up teenage DD for reading MN this late!

Oh the irony! :o

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/04/2017 04:06

Well you did explain why you'd said he could, and if he wasn't really disturbing her then she was being a bit U herself, but at least she didn't insist.

Hope you're ALL asleep now but maybe next time suggest he reads a book, yes. Much easier to fall asleep to!

buttfacedmiscreant · 14/04/2017 05:08

eh, I find it hard to get wound up about sleep habits during a one-off school holiday.

If OP as an adult couldn't sleep at night and crept through to the sitting room and quietly watched TV without disturbing anyone do you think most homeowners would tell them not to? What if an adult guest said to their host that they were going to stay up a little longer because they had fallen asleep on the train. If it were quiet and the light wasn't bothering anyone do you think most hosts would have a problem with that? I suspect it is because it is a child and MIL does not approve.

TheDowagerCuntess · 14/04/2017 11:34

Sorry, it's a bit of a shit situation if they slept on the way up, but YABU.

No way would I allow DC to do this as guests in someone else's home - I'd fully expected to be judged harshly if I did. In other words, I would judge harshly.

Give him a book - nothing like a book to read in bed to help you nod off, plus it's silent.

Original poster

DontGiveAFlying · 14/04/2017 11:45

Well she's been fine today so I just left it tbh. I don't live by the whole My house My rules thing (even in my own home) and it wasn't bothering her noise wise- she soon fell asleep. It was the "I don't want him doing that" shouting out at me that got my back up I suppose.

OP posts:

Crumbs1 · 14/04/2017 12:46

I think he should have had the courtesy to ask, since it is her home and not his. " I don't do the whole, my house my rules" sounds a bit like entitled attitude rather than working within normal social boundaries. It is her house and to just do whatever you want is rude - and teaching your son to be rude too.
It might not be a big deal but the lack of respect is.
What's an open door policy - thought it was what I have so my staff can come and speak to me whenever they want?

Original poster

DontGiveAFlying · 14/04/2017 12:51

No. You've misunderstood entirely. I was talking about My house My rules when I have guests. I'm laid back as a host is what I meant.

And my son is not being taught to be rude. However your reference to working within normal social boundaries is highly condescending and I have already explained what the open door policy is.

OP posts:

hellopeoplehowareyou · 14/04/2017 19:10

*Crumbs1
*
Blimey you sound nice?!.
It's his grandmother, no need for her to be so stuffy towards her own grandson.
When I have guests I accept that they might live differently to me, and I have more important things in life to worry about frankly, plus it's controlling and petty.
If he started rolling a joint and puffing away in lounge thenI'd say something, other then that it's just her being pathetic and intolerant.

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