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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to cancel the dcs summer holiday??

44 replies

MozzchopsThirty · 13/04/2017 20:07

I've just taken them away for a few days and their behaviour was appalling!
They fight over everything ds1(12) constantly picks on ds2(7) pushing him, standing on the back of his feet, tagging him etc etc
The 3 days away were totally exhausting

So AIBU to consider not taking them away for 2 weeks in the summer?
It's bloody expensive and it's my holiday too, I don't see why I should pay to be a referee for 2 weeks and just look like I have no control of them.

I know I'm just being dramatic, but I don't know how to solve this constant battle

OP posts:

rookiemere · 13/04/2017 21:07

What type of summer holiday have you booked ?
Sounds like they need age grouped activities to keep them away from each other as much as possible.

MerryMarigold · 13/04/2017 21:09

This is very familiar and comforting to know it is not just our family dynamic. Similar age gap. Mine are 11 and 8. Ds2 is extremely annoying (mostly deliberately) and ds1 is extremely emotional and just reacts all the time to anything and everything.

I squabbled a bit with my sis but it's nothing like my boys CONSTANTLY irritating each other and yelling/ pinching/ hitting/ screaming etc. Will read the rest of this thread avidly for advice.

Only comment would be to get somewhere with a kids club and leave them to it. Hopefully they will be too tired to fight by the end of the day.

noblegiraffe · 13/04/2017 21:11

Won't they be just as annoying at home but with worse scenery?

Teacherontherun · 13/04/2017 21:12

Is there a kids club? Maybe alternate who goes each day?

deblet · 13/04/2017 21:13

Sounds like normal siblings to me. I can remember my brother and sister being total shits and so were my kids at certain stages in their lives. Rules and consequences were exhausting but they have all come out the other end ok. 14 year old and 12 year old still squabble a bit but nowhere near as bad. When they look back by the way they don't remember being horrible just the good bits of holidays and days out. Typical.If you really can't stand it cancel this year but it will mean you don't have any good memories in later years to come either. I can remember my son peeing his little sister off for hours one day round the pool but when another child made her cry he puffed up and leapt to her defence. Played and looked after her the rest of the day then went back to being a total git again the next day. Its no wonder I am grey.....

Crumbs1 · 13/04/2017 21:17

Were they bored? We're there activities for them?

buttercup54321 · 13/04/2017 21:18

PGL holiday for DS1. Then you and ds2 can enjoy time together in peace

Scentofwater · 13/04/2017 21:26

I remember being a hideous stroppy cow one holiday as a child.

I was hungry all the time as our mealtimes were out of sync.
I was bored beyond belief as nothing was of interest to me, I pretended I was enjoying it for the first half but ran out of goodwill by day 3.
I was restless because it was rainy so I was stuck inside/in a car all the time.
My parents were tired and grumpy because they had to drive a long way and the holiday wasn't working out how they hoped.
I'm not saying your elder son has any excuse for his behaviour but if they are normally well behaved then it might be worth looking at what is different while you are on holiday?

innagazing · 13/04/2017 21:34

Are you sure you won't feel really regretful when it comes to the summer school holidays and you haven't got a holiday to go on?

Could you work on DS1 between now and then to improve his behaviour and stop the bickering? It's quite a big age gap between the boys and he shouldn't really be concerning himself constantly with his younger brother. If you don't take control now, and help him to improve now, it's likely to get more out of hand as he gets older and bigger, and become a bigger problem for you.

Original poster

MozzchopsThirty · 13/04/2017 21:39

We've been to this holiday destination 3 times before and they chose to go again this year after Florida last year as they like the freedom, the entertainment and being in the pool all day every day.

I've just had a long talk with ds1 about his behaviour so we'll see if anything changes

Ps glad it's not just mine

OP posts:

amaranthie · 13/04/2017 21:41

I don't want to sound judgmental here but it's your job to put in as much energy as it takes to bring your children up properly. All kids misbehave but if things are so bad that you are seriously considering not going on a summer holiday and focusing on how tired you will be and how you won't enjoy it, then there are some serious underlying issues here.

You're talking about opting out of positively tackling their bad behavior and it's probably this sort of parenting that has resulted in them being so difficult to deal with.

I'd suggest you lay down some firm ground rules with consequences that you actually enforce, and you tackle this head on before it gets even more out of control. Yes this will be tiring, but in the long run it will make life easier.

Wolfiefan · 13/04/2017 21:43

A long talk won't solve anything. Consequences issued every time he misbehaves will.

Original poster

MozzchopsThirty · 13/04/2017 21:43

Thank you, I have managed to bring up a fully functional 21 year old at Uni so I'm not a complete muppet at parenting

OP posts:

SilverdaleGlen · 13/04/2017 21:50

Not to thread steal but my 3 DCs (7 and under) fight and scream and react CONSTANTLY and it causes me actual anxiety and stress to the point I'm screaming too.

I had told myself this is when they are little and things will get better.

Listening to you lot with older ones now, I actually think I may need to kill myself!

Original poster

MozzchopsThirty · 13/04/2017 21:53

Silverdale honestly my two can be lovely to each other, right now they're sleeping together on the sofa bed in the extension and have built a lab together on minecraft today.

I think the last 3 days has just been a bit fraught and they've driven me crazy but it's not always that way

Have faith

OP posts:

SilverdaleGlen · 13/04/2017 21:55

Oh and amaranthie bob over to the perfect parenting thread and give yourself a 10 .

SilverdaleGlen · 13/04/2017 21:56

Thanks Mozz I think you are lying so my horrible trio don't find themselves motherless as I catch a plane to Timbuktu

Original poster

MozzchopsThirty · 13/04/2017 22:00

I promise I'm not lying

Sometimes they're just so gorgeous I could eat them
This week they were little shits

OP posts:

rookiemere · 13/04/2017 22:19

I'm not sure if it's worse or better but DS 11 is an onlyand a little too young to bring a friend away yet. He's busy saying that he doesn't want to go to Tenerife for Easter as its boring - the whole island apparently. Hope the hotel entertainment is good otherwise DH will be on duty all the time ( I'm too boring apparently).

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