To engage in poverty hording ?

[KazenoTaninoNaushika]

We're tidying up the baby's room: all the old baby clothes, every last sock, every toy DC has grown out of, every blanket, muslin, snuggly piece of crap all packed in vacuum bags lest another LO turns up in future. It's a financial thing....we are

renting do having to move frequently saving stuff is more tricky

DD1 is 3.5 and DD2 is 21 months; we've moved house 3 times since DD1 was born (about to be 4). We just take it all with us! It goes from garage to garage and loft to loft.

I'll add to my previous post too. My friend up the road frequently appears with her DS's outgrown clothes to see if I want any of them and I've already had about 3 parents with younger children asking me if they can have DD's uniform, most of which is already 3rd hand, when she leaves her prep school at the end of next term. In our family there is one pair of Teeny tiny crocs,?a bugaboo cocoon, a crib, a Moses basket, some newborn sleeping bags and some size 4 wellies which I think have been used by all 8 grandchildren and some others besides. Surely that's sensible.

That's not 'poverty hoarding', that's good sense. I have clothes all three of my dc wore (2 boys and a girl, 2- and 8-year gaps respectively). They all slept/sleep in the same cot and I still have boxes of hand-me-downs waiting for dd. Most of the rest of her clothes are passed down from friends and neighbours. I love reusing clothes/toys. It's a connection between the siblings. We're middle income and, for want of a better descriptor, middle-class.

We've moved loads too! Everything we knew we'd want to reuse has always come with us. We did very nearly give the baby stuff away shortly before dd was conceived, but that was more a giving up of hope after several mcs. But before I could get things sorted, she appeared and she stayed :)

I moved house between kids and we took everything that wasn't already on loan too, but obviously there is a cost to moving and storing things. We were fortunate to have enough room to keep them and access to a van to move us.

DS is one and I've kept everything for any future child(ren), even toys he didn't really like.

It's not just about saving money or necessity but also he has some gorgeous things and he was in them for such a short time. I know if I donated/sold everything he grew out I would end up keeping things for sentimental reasons.

DS was much smaller than I expected and when he was born we only had 3 tiny baby sleepsuits. We quickly increased this to 6. But he was refluxy and I was constantly washing them (God knows why I didn't buy more!) He was 2 months before he fit 0-3 months clothes. And I think all my friends must be Mumsnetters because we had tons and tons of 0-3 and 3-6 months clothes. Suddenly I was so overwhelmed at not having to constantly wash the same few sleepsuits all the time that it made me a bit too sentimental about his clothes!

Perfectly normal op, I know very wealthy people who also buy from charity shops ( not religiously but strongly begrudge paying for dc clothes and if not charity cheap stuff) think private jet style wealth.

I did it too - also low income.

Also op - go to baby sales loads around not just NCT, car boot sales are good too to sell or buy great baby clothes. Most people I know do it - save costs as much as possible far better to save on this stuff and use any spare money to get out with baby etc. Good luck.

Surely it's purely common sense? We couldn't afford to start again from scratch after DD, DS wore as many of her clothes as possible after which they went to my DSis for her two then my DSiL so six children wore/used clothing/equipment.
DS had lots of lovely clothes from a friend; clothes swopping was the norm then, including maternity clothes.

Not silly at all IMO. Very sensible.

I earned over £100k when I had DS and DH wasn't far off that. He wore/had a combination of stuff inherited from friends, things bought in the sales/outlets and supermarket basics (ideally on sale too). I've kept it all for DC2. If that's a girl, I'll get rid of the very boyish stuff (maybe sloganned stuff given as gifts) but plan to reuse most of it whatever. Will then sell/give away as we won't be having any more DC. DS plays with some of my sister's toys from the mid 80s and loves reading her old books.

I agree with pps that this thread definitely highlights a class issue. Quite apart from the loft/garage/removal firms that people on low incomes generally don't have access to, it's about signifiers of status - you know, the things that make you feel you are a worthy participant in society.

Obviously the people who earn a lot of money have tonnes of ways of signifying their status - the house, the car, the long haul holidays, the professional job and salary. So it's no big deal for them for their kids to wear fourth hand stuff and boast about how little they have spent.

But when you have no access or hope of getting the big signifiers, dressing your kids in second hand clothing is just one more way of letting the world know how poor you are, which is something always at the forefront of your mind anyway.

So you want instead for your kids' clothes to signify to others that your kids do have value and status.

(And then middle class people tut at you about consumerism and waste.)

It's not either or Getin. Buying a whole new wardrobe is a waste. Equally my second DC did have some new clothes.

We definitely held on to stuff and it was lovely getting it all out again and having all the lovely memories flood back when unveiling each new thing.

We have 5 nieces and nephews younger than DS so we passed most of it on to them, but we had lots given to us from our oldest nephew and from friends. We kept some though just in case, and I imagine we'd get stuff passed back to us if (very big if) we did have another DC.

DD2 is currently wearing stuff we got given second hand for DD1.

I kept everything from dd1 then got rid of stuff as dd2 grew out of it. Much easier than lending stuff out and trying to get it back again.

Nobody gives their stuff away until they've finished having kids, do they? Not keeping it seems stupid to me.

I've got three accidental children with fairly wide age gaps (14, 9 and 3) and had to trawl ebay and the charity shops every single time to replace the stuff I'd sold/given away to the same places several years earlier! Pain in the back side!

I bought a second (presumably) hand bundle of neutral baby stuff 0-12 months on ebay for DS, so he was at least the second baby to use it.

I then passed it on to a friend, then my sister, then back to me, now back to my sister. So it has been used by at least 6 babies and all the mums involved in this pass-it-on chain have been pretty chuffed at how much we've saved.

Not only do we pack and save, we pass it round cousins to make sure it gets full usage.

Spot on Getinthefuckingsea

We saved everything from dc1 and used it with dc2. Family complete, we moved last month and I donated everything, got rid of the carseat, iso fix etc. Guess what little surprise mother nature has delivered us this month ...

monty we're exactly the same here. Used all our baby stuff for ds1 and 2. Last summer we had a huge clear out of the attic and got rid of everything, including pristine baby clothes, unopened bottles, perfect condition cot bed and pram...Then found out 2 months later that dc3 was on the way. Ds3 is due next month and we had to start from scratch!

I did this, after having DS via IVF. For numerous reasons we will not be having another child. Still don't know when I will find the courage time to unpack and . (Can't even write the last word - dispose, get rid of etc is too painful).

I know it's sensible and would recommend everyone does this, so why is it so hard to come out of the other side of this? To unpack without the excitement and trepidation of another child on their way? Surely I can't be the only one?

I agree with Emphasise and GetIn. IME, the only people that buy new and won't dream of accepting 'hand-me-downs' are those with the lowest incomes. For everyone else, it's just common sense.

I got a whole bundle of second hand dresses as a child one year from a friend of my aunt's. The friend had initially offered them to a neighbour who had turned them down saying she could afford to buy new clothes for her daughter. They were nice things too - my mum and I were delighted. I think if you're confident you don't worry about second hand stuff.

Did I miss the justification for it? If it's for another child then of course you should. DH and I each earn 6 figures and did exactly this. Why wouldn't you? We also accepted hand-me-downs and the travel system, cot, playpen and umbrella buggy were second hand.

If you're hoarding for the sake of it and you're done with having children then yes, you're being unreasonable. If you're not sure about more children then keep it until you are.

Getting rid of things (charity or passed on) as our second and final DC grew out of them or they were no longer needed was satisfying.

I don't have experience in real life, but on AIBU, there often seems to be a reverse snobbery with people talking about scrimping and saving to buy an eye-wateringly-priced travel system whereas those with more disposable income mention their averagely-priced one lasting for three children.