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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this isn't a personal recommendation and I might as well not turn up

26 replies

Delia1989 · 12/04/2017 20:15

I applied for two jobs in an area I really liked but that my experience wasn't a close match. I'm qualified for the roles but one more than the other.

I got offered an interview and went but unfortunately there were stronger applicants. The woman interviewing me said I'd done really well at interview and was very confident and she had spoken to the manager of the other team I applied to (no idea how my name came up or the fact she recognised me as having been shortlisted to interview) and she would like to know if I was still interested in her position and why I never turned up for her interview as she said she also shortlisted me for interview in her department. The company is a small government organisation.

I had no idea I'd been invited to that interview. The woman said she would give that information to the manager and the manager would call me back.

The manager called me back saying she was sorry and there was a problem with the interview invites and everyone has been resent them. There's one position available.

Now, I'm obviously going to go. But I can't help but feel it will be exactly th same story again. Going to this interview is going to cost me over £100 and to be honest, while I'm unemployed and really do need this job, I almost feel like there's no point turning up. I have some experience but I'm sure others will have more and I don't think I have what it takes to get the position.

My friend has said it sounds to him like the previous interview panel really liked me and personally recommended me to the other manager. If I'd done terribly they would have negatively spoken about me to her and she wouldn't be so keen to have me booked in for an interview with her.

I don't know if I'm being overly negative here but I really don't see this as any kind of personal recommendation. I can't see how I will ever actually get the job and I'm only viewing this as interview paractice.

AIBU?

OP posts:
mydietstartsmonday · 12/04/2017 20:18

You need to go. You never know where the next opportunity might come from. Have no regrets and no what ifs. Go for it.

Original poster
Delia1989 · 12/04/2017 20:21

I will go for it certainly. I'm just feeling really down about the whole thing. I don't really think I'm going to get it.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 12/04/2017 20:23

You posted about this before, I think? I'm struggling to see how much more of a personal recommendation it could be?

Interviewer A has said to interviewer B, ' Delia is a great candidate for your role, she interviewed very well but I think she's more suited to your role'.

You are then offered an interview and yet you are unsure whether to go? I'm really confused. Go. Do your best and prepare well. You stand a very good chance.

Whereas if you stay home and save £100 I can confidently predict you will not be the successful candidate.

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2017 20:25

I've read it before, too... What have you got to lose by going, op? It seems to be occupying a hell of a lot of headspace, just go

QuackDuckQuack · 12/04/2017 20:26

Are you sure they won't pay your travel expenses? It seems pretty common.

Original poster
Delia1989 · 12/04/2017 20:27

My mental state is awful at the moment. I'm very worried that another rejection would really destroy me.

I've been offered an interview for a different role that is more compatible with my experience and I want to be in a fit mental state to attend that next month.

I'm feeling this is just not going to happen when I get rejected after this interview.

OP posts:
Original poster
Delia1989 · 12/04/2017 20:28

And I don't think there's been any personal recommendation. People are telling me there must have been but I'm not seeing it.

OP posts:
TheProblemOfSusan · 12/04/2017 20:41

This is a really, really, really positive thing. It really is. Even if you don't get the role, you scored so highly with the other person that she put her personal reputation on the line to recommend you to the other person.

That IS a personal recommendation, and as someone who interviews sometimes, I would NEVER do that unless I genuinely believed that the person was an excellent fit for the role.

She's literally using her personal leverage to guide the other manager towards you even though she has no particular reason to do so - she's got no personal relationship to you, it won't net her any benefit to recommend you EXCEPT that it makes her company stronger if they get the right candidate (possibly, but not definitely you) into the other role.

I can see that you're really struggling here, and that worries me: job hunting is really appallingly hard on your mental health and it sounds like you might need to talk to someone about this, such as your GP, if you can't see that this is a really great opportunity. No guarantees, but good.

Good luck, and here's my personal 'helping with job hunting etc' recommendation - www.askamanager.org/ is a really great blog about the world of work. Bits of it are super US centric (e.g. that whole thing of sending thank you notes after interviews) but a lot of it is familiar and her job hunting advice is ace.

There's a job searching section here: www.askamanager.org/category/job-searching

And there's some really interesting job hunt anxiety advice from the commenters in this thread here: www.askamanager.org/2013/03/ask-the-readers-how-to-overcome-job-search-anxiety.html

Original poster
Delia1989 · 12/04/2017 20:46

Thank you.

Job hunting has destroyed me in every way. I never imagined it would be like this. Before qualifying I'd never experienced job hunting to this extent. I'd been unemployed a year previously but was planning to return to studies anyway.

What's most difficult is seeing all my fellow students and the friends is mad eon my course walk into jobs. Some people already have jobs who joined the course a year after me.

I wish I'd never gone into this line of work now.

I will try to keep positive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Delia1989 · 12/04/2017 20:49

If people honestly think this is such a positive I may just be having my judgement clouded.

OP posts:
JennyHolzersGhost · 12/04/2017 20:50

Can you not ask if they reimburse travel expenses ? £100 is a significant sum - is it because the interview location is further from where you live than the job is? If you're a long way from where the job is, would you plan to move if you get it ?

Original poster
Delia1989 · 12/04/2017 20:53

It's near my parents house. I would relocate.

OP posts:
John4703 · 12/04/2017 20:57

Going to this interview is going to cost me over £100

Ages ago I was unemployed and was offered an interview (I got the job) I was treated like shit by the Job Centre as I asked for a rail ticket to the interview. They refused to give it to me before the day of the interview and made me wait ages on that day. Despite my bad experience I'd so "GO" and get the job. If you are signing on ask the bloody Job Centre to pay the £100

Original poster
Delia1989 · 12/04/2017 21:00

I will have to pay the £100 and I don't mind. It's not the money.

I'm just worried what being rejected yet again will do to me.

OP posts:
ConfessorKahlan · 12/04/2017 21:01

You have my complete sympathy OP. Hopefully my experience will give you hope.

I was feeling just like you are after being rejected twice in the space of two days. I had three interviews in one week. I very nearly cancelled the third job interview as I could not face another rejection. I felt physically sick and knew that I just could not mentally and emotionally survive another rejcetion (I know that sounds melodramatic, but it is an accurate description of my metal state). Even outside of the school, I was still undecided as to whether I could physically put myself through another gruelling interview. But I did. And I got the job.

The right job will come along for you and it will all be worth it in the end. I have seen your posts on the other thread about the two teachers and understand how you feel. You have worked extremely hard to qualify in your role and you will be successful.

I know it's hard, but go to the interview. This could be your chance!

TheProblemOfSusan · 12/04/2017 21:07

Oh, you poor thing. Sounds like you're really going through it with this.

It's really hard to do, but can you try to reposition this in your head? Even if you don't get it, it's not a rejection: it's a step closer to a successful interview?

I find this stuff incredibly hard too, I know it's not as easy as that, but each interview is a success over all the other candidates, and one where you've been personally recommended is a step ahead of that.

Good luck and best of wishes.

SaveMeBarry · 12/04/2017 21:08

Do go along Op, the panel who interviewed you for the other role obviously rated you.

Ok look it's not an absolute guarantee you'll be offered the second role but it is very positive. I've interviewed people before who wouldn't have been the best fit for my team but ticked all the right boxes for positions I knew other teams would need to fill. Out of I think 5, 3 got the job. Best of luck!

LadyPW · 12/04/2017 21:12

Look at it as a practice run for the interview next month; an opportunity to fine tune your answers to those bog standard questions and to practice being confident. Don't think of it as an interview for this actual job at all.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/04/2017 21:30

You know what? Even if you don't get the job, you haven't actually been rejected. Because people saw your potential and decided they'd like to meet you. If they don't choose you, it's because they've found someone, who was a better match for the company or role. That's not actually a rejection you know. It just means they believe you'd fit in better somewhere else and perhaps they're right. In the same way you're not sure if you want to work there. The interview process works both ways and you are also interviewing them.

FanaticalFox · 12/04/2017 21:45

You posted this exact scenario before fairly recently OP. Has the interview not been and gone yet?

EyeStye · 12/04/2017 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeddaGarbled · 12/04/2017 22:00

Not getting every job you apply for is normal. You need to try and move past the "rejected" feeling (I know this is easier said than done Flowers). I suppose there are some lucky people who get the first job they apply for but most people I know go to loads of interviews before they get lucky, especially if it's a competitive field. One of my children applied for in the region of 50 jobs, did all the online tests, didn't get through most of those, then some phone interviews, didn't get through most of those, assessment days, didn't get through most of those, a handful of interviews and then, hallelujah, one (good) job offer at the end of it all. Imagine if he'd given up after the second try.

ChasedByBees · 12/04/2017 22:07

Gov organisations usually pay travel expenses. No harm in asking.

JennyHolzersGhost · 12/04/2017 22:13

If your concern is the rejection then do you think you're mentally well enough to cope with the demands of the job if you were to get it ?

CouldntMakeThisShitUp · 12/04/2017 22:23

£100 is a lot of money to spend on going to an interview - and i'm not talking about the cost of outfit.
It's a hell of a lot of money to spend especially when you're unemployed.

Contact your local Jobcentre and ask them about help towards the interview costs. I know when i was on JSA they paid for my transport (and interview clothes).

I would also ask your interviewer if they could provide any help towards transport/acc costs given your current financial circumstances....just be sure to let them know you are over the moon to have been personally recommended for this int etc
....it's worth asking.

If they say no, then i'd have to weigh up the cost against the possibility of getting the job. Usually when there's a 'communication problem' like this at the early stage of recruitment, in my experience it's proof of further fuckwittery to come...

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