Nannying hours during holidays keep changing

[jugotmail]

Background - I am very fortunate to have nannied for the same family for many years. I have gone from full time to after school as my charges have grown and I now have my own ds who can come to work with me in hols and on extra days, I am incredibly lucky and grateful so am often flexible with last minute calls to work extra and swapping hours to suit them. My family are wonderful and i adore them BUT ... mum is busy and often forgets to let me know about holidays - ones they are going on and what hours she requires over the school ones leading me to prompt her with emails about dates.

My AIBU is five weeks ago I emailed her about the Easter hols - detailing dates, my commitments and when my ds was off school (different dates for hols). I received an email back telling me that she didnt need me this week and that next week her children are "back at school on Thurs and could I do an extra shift on the Fri". I have now received am email asking me to confirm working one day and swapping another as well as the extra (ineffect a normalish week). AIBU to be really cross about this and send her a PA email stating that "I assumed Fri was the only date you needed as there was nothing else mentioned - sorry should have chased you up on that" or should I just shut up and tell her all is fine. DH is just telling me I shouldnt be stresssing over it but she has done last minute changes and forgotten what was agreed before without thought to how it affects my plans - hence my emails to give a reference point

Phew, thanks and I hope this makes sense.

Sorry if this outs me - I love you I just need some impatial perspective xx

I think I need to know would working what they would like mean you are cancelling plans?

I would handle it differently depending on whether it was an inconvenience or not.

there were loose plans to meet with friends in the day on one of the other days but because of the hours we cant go out for a day or go to far. Mostly I was looking forward to just being able to relax with ds and for him to have all my attention.
I think its just the assumption that bothers me - but i feel so grateful/lucky to have a job I love that I feel guilty saying no to requests however inconvenient they are.

I was thinking this could be a solution?

Would a shared calendar work? So you book in things on days you don't normally work so you can only swap if you are genuinely free? I think something to put the onus back on your employer to make and stick to arrangements in advance?

Thanks random there was a time when we tried inputting it all on a calender and printing it off for the month ahead - including clubs etc - but it fell by the wayside (down to her and on her computer). Guess I would be reluctant to have a shared calender as there will be times that I just have the guts to say no and she will see i have nothing on for that day 😊 but it is a starting point.

No need to be PA -just say, "Sorry, can't change from what we agreed now as it's too short notice."

Unless you want the hours in which case agree, but make it clear it's a change from the original agreement and you're doing her a favour.

What Moggie says.

I think it's perfectly acceptable to say either you did/didn't have plans that you've been able to rearrange but at such short notice you won't be able to do this again. So you (employer) don't get caught out what are plans for May half term and can we also firm up summer holidays by the end of April.

I would have a chat and then do a follow up email "Just to confirm our discussion on x date, you agreed to let me know summer holiday working days by 30th April"