Todo an advanced search on a username

[ohtheshameshameshame]

When they write something I perceive to be unhelpful or nasty? Then I stalk through read all their previous comments / threads and like some shite MN detective try to work out if they actually are an arsehole or just having a bad day.

I'm pretty sure this is unreasonable but I can't help it. I'm a stalker aren't I ? I think I need to ditch this MN!

I think it's natural to love a stalk...it's some kind of killer instinct! Otherwise why would you enjoy reading words written anonymously on a screen? It's only because you imagine there are actually people behind them. I think it's natural to want to have a good nose.

I did it once when I was roasted by a poster for saying I thought it was odd that my friend was still wiping her 7 years bum. Man, I got ripped a new one despite me saying child had no additional needs etc. After smarting about it for a bit , did an AS and she was on another thread saying that by the age of 7 she would expect a child to be able to fry an egg unsupervised

Battytwatty just shows you how weird some people are and that they just like to argue for the sake of it.

Yes I agree. I think it depends what side of the bed folk get out of.
I don't see any issue with AS and it being brought up on the same thread. Some people need pulling up if they are contradicting themselves

I once happened to look at two or three threads in the same browsing session and noticed the same poster haranguing women in each one for how she imagined their housekeeping to be. After I spotted the third such post on the third thread within about thirty minutes, I responded to the poster and asked her why she had such a bee in her bonnet this evening. She accused me of stalking, of being obsessed with her, and all manner of other nutty things before flouncing because she'd suddenly remembered she was above discussing things on Mumsnet.

I didn't use AS, I just happened to look at the same three threads as she had that night (there were probably more posts all over the place). Is it OK if you just happen to come across them?

It was totally worth it for the flounce. I'd probably have AS for more evidence of her insanity if I'd realised how entertaining it would be.

I was accused of stalking too when I genuinely had remembered something. It's like a massive crime on here for some reason.

I only advanced search if the thread seems too weird to be true one of the "poor me am I unreasonable eating cat food for dinner whilst my husband eats caviar in his Porsche" or "I think my husband is going to kill me". I can't be bothered looking up randoms who disagree with me, sometimes a bit of an argument can be fun anyway.
Bringing up stuff from previous threads is fine if it exposes the OP as a lying fantasist, although I've never done that.

How do you do an advanced search?

When you have a thread open, just below the top Mumsnet on the page therés a purple button highlighted "advanced Search", bit to the right

Thankyou

Sorry, I meant to ask: how do I do it on the app on my phone? There's not a button on here. Many thanks

I don't know if you can on the mobile site. I hate using mumsnet on widgets as half of the small screen gets covered by banners and adverts so don't bother.

I don't AS very often, and if I do it's usually becomes somethi g seems off about the poster.

I agree it would be very bad form to stalk someone from thread to thread, or indeed to mention what you had found at all unless it was directly related to the thread.

Because I do remember a cracking good one about someone who was gaining a lot of sympathy about her DP's (apparently) unreasonable refusal to put her in the house deeds, or discuss any other legal measures to increase her security. Then the posts from a couple of weeks previously, about how she was preparing to leave him, came to light....

I think acknowledging that a perfectly normal poster can express something badly, have a bee in their bonnet about a single issue, or just be drunk and a bit weird one evening, is a standpoint to be applauded OP.

Writing someone off in their entirety because you think one post is a bit shit seems to be quite common (if some posters are to be believed) and I think that's unfortunate.

I don't think it's wrong to AS and even refer to it.
I did it today in fact - as you'll see if you AS me

A poster with a cheating husband was asking if they could get over it.
Several people said they had, successfully.
A quick AS showed that this OP had already taken him back once, and this was with the same OW.
So I mentioned that on the thread.
Sympathetically.
I think when someone leaves out relevant info it does two things:

• waste people's time responding (in less bothered about this, your time your choice)
• means that people can give you advice that actual they wouldn't give with the full facts.

IMO, it was important that the OP wasn't given lots of positive messages about trying again, when he was a serial cheat and she was presenting it as a one off.

I think that as there's the facility to name change, AS and mentioning it is fair game - as long as it's not done through malice.

Okay. What I want to know is...
How have some posters managed to get their settings such that an AS is impossible? ie name comes up but blanks instead of messages or every message states it has been deleted by
MNHQ when the poster is still posting under that name?
Do they work for MN or do they have special skills?!

Lots of posters had all their posts deleted after hackergate.

Yes I know but if a poster has not name changed but has returned to MN surely the most recent posts would come up?

Yep i have done this

But only if i am like this at the stuff being posted

And I wouldn't bring it up on the thread

I have brought up another persons post up on another thread once but the thread were linked if you see what i mean and we were on both

It was very wrong of me and i should have apologised at the time

AS doesn't work very well atm. I'm fact it's a bit fucked.

If they say something really outrageous YANBU.

If you do it all the time it's a bit bunny boiler.

Stealing lurker not a fighter
Only stalk if an arsehole

I can understand someone doing it once or twice if someone's giving them a very hard time and being really personal towards them and they just can't figure out why.

But I really, really, really cannot stand posters who are having an argument with another poster and then start doing the 'oooh yes, you were giving out about people parking badly a few days ago, and children screaming in restaurants the day before that. You must have nothing else to do but moan....' type posts. It's nasty, creepy and a sure sign that they're losing the argument but just won't back off.