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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be considering leaving this job?

25 replies

rubytuesdayblues · 10/04/2017 19:59

I'll try and keep a long story short but don't want to drip feed.

I worked hard from age 15, getting into a professional field in the civil service in my early 20s. I had DC at 32 and took voluntary redundancy during maternity leave. I took my professional qualifications whilst off and then set up a limited company with DH. I didn't work much (ran the company, studied, did little bits of consulting) but mostly looked after DC as DH was often away and no family locally.

5 years on and DC started school. I started looking for work and was offered a full time role just before xmas after 6 months of looking. I requested flexibility but was told it wasn't possible. Was offered an initial 6 months contract and I'm half way through.

The commute is horrible, the job frustrating and workload too high (even with me working through lunch every day). It's a reasonably good salary (only 5% lower than I was on 7 years ago - they haggled me down) and the people generally good to be around. New manager has started and is proving to be a micromanager, even through I've around 12 years more experience than him.

The lack of flexibility is causing me real issues. I feel as though I have zero time. I'm leaving the house at 8am to take DC to breakfast club and back at 6:30pm. By the time I've spent some time with DC, sorted dinner and bedtime it's 9pm and then I have chores to do. By 11pm I'm wide awake - not good when I need to be up at 6:30am. I've had to pause my studying. I spend a day a week catching up on things (I still run the business and DH is often away). I see so little of DC and I miss them.

Part time work at my level/in my profession is rare. It took me months to find this job and I don't know when I'd get another. I like working but this is sapping all of my energy.

I don't know what to do. :(

OP posts:

Babyroobs · 10/04/2017 20:12

I'm in a similar situation too (except without the high workload). I took on a new job as a second job but the commute is working out much longer than I anticipated - the job is split between 2 locations so I might spend half a day in one then have to walk to the other ( about 20mins). I can't park at second location which means 20 min walk back to car then stuck in horrendous traffic home. Finish times are unpredictable. Morning commute is a lot better but still a reasonable walk to either location. None of this was made clear at interview !!
I am 3 months into a 6 month contract and just keep thinking should I pack it in whilst still in probation period so would only need to give a weeks notice.
The computer system is antiquated and completely frustrating and I haven't been given much training. Clients frequently don't show up and I'm left with hours of nothing to do . On the positive side my team are all lovely and supportive and the work is interesting.
Things at home have gone severely pear shaped and it's causing friction. I do another job at weekends.
I think maybe you need to look for another job before you give this one up, although I appreciate that's going to cause more problems for you. How badly do you need the money?
Also how would it look on your CV to give up a job so soon , I am also worried about that, although I do have a second job so wouldn't be completely without work.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 10/04/2017 20:13

It's barely been any time, with not working in years it's bound to take time to find a routine.

Look for something else that suits but those hours arent bad for full time, many full time roles are much longer.

Original poster

rubytuesdayblues · 10/04/2017 20:15

It's a 6 month FTC so gives me an out on my CV (nobody needs to know it could have been made permanent).

Don't need much of my salary for day to day life, but trying to save for home repairs and new carpets and the like. The ideal would be to leave in July and go to a new job between Nov and Jan. (Summer hols are going to be a nightmare.)

OP posts:

Original poster

rubytuesdayblues · 10/04/2017 20:17

I'm supposed to do a 7.5 hour day, but that day takes me 10.5 hours to do. I'd rather compress the hours to 4 days and save 1 days worth of commute but doubt it's possible for this role. :(

OP posts:

Goldfishjane · 10/04/2017 20:18

If you dint need the money for savings or bills it's a no brainer to leave.

Badbadtromance · 10/04/2017 20:21

I've just quit my job. Almost at the end of contract but just couldn't do it anymore. I feel liberated. Do what is best for you and your family

GetInTheFuckingSea · 10/04/2017 20:28

I wouldn't say it's a no brainer to leave at all. You say that part time roles are difficult to come by so any job that utilises your skills and experience is going to be like this. The length of your days sound normal (and indeed shorter than many - 8 am is quite late to leave by) I'm afraid - it's a long old haul when you've got pick ups and drop offs added into the mix. Could your partner take over any of that? I do sympathise with the groundhog day feeling of it all and it's frustrating just how long a day takes with everything you have to cram in - it's not easy. Only you can decide if it's worth it in the long run or conversely if it's worth risking being out of the workforce for the next few years.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 10/04/2017 20:29

If you dint need the money for savings or bills it's a no brainer to leave.

Not really, the husband may be fed up of working long hours and was looking forward to having the support of a second earner to make life a little more bearable and the house better etc.

He doesn't get to quit so why should the OP?

Goldfishjane · 10/04/2017 20:48

Sorry rainbows
Ive never done joint finances so totally forgot that!!

Original poster

rubytuesdayblues · 10/04/2017 21:06

I don't think I'd be out for years. Husband lives the life of riley - seeing the world, working from home, picking his hours etc.

OP posts:

MarshmallowNougat · 10/04/2017 23:19

Why not complete the six month contract and if they offer another then ask to reduce your hours? The next two months are a bit easier due to Easter and bank holidays and presumably you could take a bit of annual leave.

That strategy has more possibilities than quiting now.

araiwa · 10/04/2017 23:24

surely this something you should discuss with dh

he might decide he wants to quit his job too as he wants be be with his kid instead of away travelling

Xmasbaby11 · 10/04/2017 23:25

Maybe stick at it a while. It takes time to find a routine.

I don't think the hours are that long for full time unfortunately, if you have to commute. Would there be any chance of finding work nearer home?

Astro55 · 10/04/2017 23:33

I quit a FT well paid job recently for similar reasons particularly the micro managing fucking awful

It you are unhappy leave!! I'm still here and have another job to go to

ScissorBow · 10/04/2017 23:53

With 6 months experience in this place on your CV you'll look a much more enticing prospect than before this contract started. I would start looking at other jobs I'd like to do and line one up for when this contract ends. Why did you only work there for 6 months? Because it was a 6 month contract. No problem.

Original poster

rubytuesdayblues · 11/04/2017 19:51

It's actually a nightmare at the moment because my opposite number is off for much of April and May, so I'm doing their work as well!

That strategy has more possibilities than quiting now.

Sorry, I'm not planning on quitting now. I'm planning on not continuing past the 6 months. (All talk is on me still being there next year on their side, so they clearly aren't expecting me to leave.)

OP posts:

Original poster

rubytuesdayblues · 11/04/2017 19:51

he might decide he wants to quit his job too as he wants be be with his kid instead of away travelling

He's got his own company. He chooses where to work.

OP posts:

Original poster

rubytuesdayblues · 11/04/2017 19:52

Already floated the idea of part time/flexible working. It's a no go in this role.

OP posts:

Laurendisorder · 11/04/2017 20:56

My latest contract ends in July - I'm not renewing either and am taking the summer off - can't wait (have calculated with planned holidays and odd days off have only 10 weeks to go!) - so I guess that's a leave from me!

Yellowbird54321 · 11/04/2017 21:02

Based on the info you've given here I'm voting for leave at the end of the 6 months, then make finding your next job your next job iyswim

gigi556 · 11/04/2017 21:04

It was unclear you were planning to stay for the 6 months and then not renew. If it's not a good fit, I'd leave after your initial contract is up, but I wouldn't quit now as it will look good on your CV having been out of the game for some time.

Pestilentialone · 11/04/2017 21:10

Your DH really is living the life of Riley. How about he picks up the slack, takes DC to breakfast club and has dinner ready for you when you get home. That should free up a bit of time and allow you to finish the contract.

Original poster

rubytuesdayblues · 11/04/2017 21:15

His contract sees him 200 miles away during the week most of the time, otherwise he absolutely would be!

OP posts:

Original poster

rubytuesdayblues · 11/04/2017 21:17

They really struggled to find someone to take the role - almost 6 months, so whilst I'd usually try and exploit that, I just don't see how it would be possible for it to be more flexible/less demanding. A big pay rise might help, but it wouldn't fix the fundamental issues.

OP posts:

longlostpal · 15/04/2017 21:01

Agree with PPs that your husband's lifestyle needs to change. Obviously you can't go on doing all the stuff you did as a SAHP now that you are working full time! Could you rely more on outside help (cleaner/childminder to do school pickup).

Honestly, it sounds like it might be worth sticking to this job for a bit. It sounds like a good position salary-wise for having had such a long break, and it will be much easier to move on to something better from being employed there, as opposed to from being unemployed.

The job itself doesn't sound that bad. Perhaps the workload issue could be addressed after you get off probation, but equally, could it be something you get into the swing of after a bit more time back in the job. It can be a tricky dynamic when managers are younger/less experienced, but this isn't a reason for them not to manage you. You might also find you are less exhausted/more in a routine after a bit of time. You haven't given yourself very long to bed in. I'd see where you are after a year.

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