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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband is turning kids into telly addicts

16 replies

Cranb0rne · 10/04/2017 06:25

AIBU? My husband would have the telly on all day if he could, I swear. I leave the kids with him and as soon as my back is turned, the telly is on again. I feel like such a nag though because I am constantly on his case, switching it off and feel like I am being unreasonable. I'd say that the 4 year old is now a seasoned telly addict and he is trying to do the same to the little one. I do have it on occasionally when I spend the day with them if we've been out all day and are too knackered to do anything else. I think a little bit of telly is fine, just not hours of it before bedtime. Oh, and don't get me started about the phone videos/tablet. We are always arguing about it. I think that kids should be outside/playing with toys. He says that he used to watch 3 hours of telly before he even left the house for school in the morning and it didn't do him any harm.

OP posts:

MrsDustyBusty · 10/04/2017 06:38

Well it clearly did do him some harm if he's not able to spend ten minutes interacting with his family without a moderating distraction.

Sirzy · 10/04/2017 06:40

There is plenty of time in the day for playing with toys, being outdoors and a bit of screen time!

I always have the tv or radio on in the background - I can't stand silence!

sandgrown · 10/04/2017 06:51

My DP is like you Sirzy. He has to have TV/radio on at all times. If he is in alone he puts it on in each room so he can hear it all the time. He is always shouting me and DS to look at something on the telly. I have only known him read two books in 17 years. I often wonder what his childhood was like. Don't worry too much OP our DS is not a telly addict. He did watch quite a lot with his dad but I just made sure he got out and did other things too.

Sirzy · 10/04/2017 07:02

I read regularly. Like I said it isn't an either or thing!

kmc1111 · 10/04/2017 07:07

Does he actually sit there and watch it intently whenever it's on, or is it just background noise most of the time?

I have the TV or podcasts on most of the time when I'm home. I like the background noise. I'm not lazy, I read 2-3 books a week, I have hobbies, I exercise, I garden...I just also like a bit of background noise. I spend more than enough time in my own head, and I'm actually more efficient when I have something other than my own thoughts running through my brain.

luckylucky24 · 10/04/2017 07:15

The TV is always on in our house. Not constantly watched and on the days DS does watch it a lot I turn it off. We always go out for a good portion of the day anyway.

Purplepicnic · 10/04/2017 07:17

Is he doing it so he doesn't have to parent them? Or just coz he likes it on?

Original poster

Cranb0rne · 10/04/2017 07:18

He switches it on for the kids to watch while he sits and surfs on his phone. He says that they start misbehaving if they don't have constant entertainment (I.e tv or videos on the phone/tablet) so it's not just on for background noise. I think It's a different kettle of fish if it's on in the background and the kids are playing with toys/reading.

OP posts:

Andrewofgg · 10/04/2017 07:31

YANBU. The goggle-box should be turned on for a particular programme then turned off again. It's a good servant but a bad master.

And whichever parent is with DC should not be on the phone unless to speak when it rings.

Itaintme · 10/04/2017 07:36

If people dodnt use their phones while they had the kids. MN would be very quiet.

Believeitornot · 10/04/2017 07:39

Having tv as background "noise" can have an impact on speech development - I have vague memories of reading somewhere.
Tv is alazy parents babysitter. I know this as use it occasionally myself but I was strict and we had no tv until they were toddlers and even then it was restricted.

Your DH sounds lazy.

snapcrap · 10/04/2017 07:41

Of course he's being lazy and this would drive me mad too. At your kids' ages, it's imperative they don't watch too much tv without interaction. I'd say 2 hours max of screen time of any sort until they are older.

sandgrown · 10/04/2017 07:45

Sorry Sirzy not having a dig at you just spent years trying to understand DP' s need for background noise.

thethoughtfox · 10/04/2017 09:17

They forget how to play independently and if they start watching tv all day from very small they don't develop a proper imaginative and play life. You end up with exactly what your husband wants to avoid: grumpy kids who don't seem to be able to play together or occupy themselves so you end up putting the TV back on. We do 'jelly and Elmo day' one day a week where my dd can watch Sesame St and we do a movie on a Sat afternoon.

Boophis · 10/04/2017 10:47

I would agree its not ideal developmentally. But I can preach cause we don't have a tv in the house. I sometimes have the radio on in the kitchen though. I didnt have a tv for most of my childhood either.

Andrewofgg · 10/04/2017 11:28

Boophis I am 1952 vintage and did not have a TV till I was ten. And I still prefer the radio!

My great niece who will be three in August is being brought up in a home without a TV - she only sees screens when she talks to her relations overseas, or of course from time to time in friends' homes, although the grandparents here in England don't turn it on when she is there . I will be interested to see how that turns out. So far she is a very verbal child who does not seem to miss the goggle-box at all.

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