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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect A level son to have weekend job

153 replies

Gomango · 09/04/2017 17:39

My argument us that he does nothing college work wise over the weekend. Hanging out, being hungover, on gadgets. Refuses to get job til exams done. I eouldn't mind if he was revising or handing assignments in on time.

OP posts:
summerfling · 10/04/2017 06:11

Fuck that, no way would I go to college during the week & then be expected to work on the weekends!

Sorry op but I think cut the kid some slack

Crumbs1 · 10/04/2017 06:29

None of ours were required to work at weekends- we actively discouraged it because we wanted them to get good grades. If they are working hard during the week, revising/doing prep at weekends then they are doing full time hours. No need to work as well.

somewhereovertherain · 10/04/2017 07:04

Have to say don't agree in the slightest.

bruffin · 10/04/2017 07:06

Depends on what lifestyle they want and if they cant cope with a little work and studying they really are not that good and over reaching themselves.

nelipotter · 10/04/2017 07:13

There will be plenty of time to work like a silly bugger, let him be. I ended up in a career that doesn't really do weekends, so neither do I... and I've been retraining as well, so study after work, and I NEVER have a day off. I'm not even joking. My next day off is June 3.
This is not something I' proud of, it's something I am sad about, that I got myself into a scenario where I can't enjoy down time.
Sometimes I am so tired I want to cry.
Let him have actual time off, it's good for the soul. He's young. He WILL work hard, I can practically guarantee it. No need to get him into the habit of working himself to the bone for the rest of his sorry life like the rest of us.

Sparklingbrook · 10/04/2017 07:39

There's plenty of time to work full time yes. But as a teenager a P/T job can't be compared to that.

It's not good for the soul to have no money when all your friends are going out....

bruffin · 10/04/2017 07:40

Neilpotter
My dc are having fun because they are working. It funds their holidays and dd going to the theatre every week

felinewonderful · 10/04/2017 07:54

Unless it's financially necessary I think yabu. I never worked while studying and if he's happy with the £30 per week then that's fine. If people are at college/school 5 days per week and work on a Saturday that only leaves one day off per week, not much time for studying or leisure. I would be exhausted!

Ragwort · 10/04/2017 07:55

None of ours were required to work at weekends- we actively discouraged it because we wanted them to get good grades. If they are working hard during the week, revising/doing prep at weekends then they are doing full time hours.

But what if they are not studying hard? Not all teenagers are hard working and studying in their 'free time' - my DS would spend most of his time playing sport or on social media; personally I would love it if he spent more time studying & aimed for higher grades but that's not going to happen so I would rather he had a part time job than messed around on the X Box or whatever.

Sparklingbrook · 10/04/2017 08:02

If they are at school all week studying, then spending every evening and weekend studying that's not great is it? Confused

Emboo19 · 10/04/2017 08:17

Well I had my first job at 13, just sweeping up at the hairdressers on Saturday mornings. At 16 I was working 20+ hours a week in retail. Still managed A*'s and A's at GCSE and A levels and kept up with after school sports.

None of my friends, even the well off ones who had a generous allowance from their parents, weren't working part time by 18.

I don't think young people should underestimate the importance of earning your own money and the satisfaction that brings.

Original poster
Gomango · 10/04/2017 08:18

Ragwort gets my point
No academic work gets done at the weekends, hardly any evenings either. High ability but no work ethic which he has got away with so far. He will not get the A* but will hopefully manage an A, BB according to tutors.
So if not working on A levels then why not paid work? Full time student yes but with some half days too. Really dont think im being harsh.
But at the end if the day i cant force him to get a paid job anymore than i can force him to revise more, i have been to soft along the way.
He says he will find a job once exams out of the way so will leave him be for now!

OP posts:
aniceglassofchianti · 10/04/2017 08:19

mine loves to work for the money as we do not fund everything.

Zaberwocky · 10/04/2017 08:21

As someone who just six years ago worked full days at weekends, and after sixth form and into the evening, I'd say give him a break. I managed to pull off A*-A grades but I was constantly shattered, nervous and anxious. I had no social life, all of my time was spent working or studying and I really wish I could go back and redo it all again.

As well, where abouts do you live? Think of it in terms of the average town, where there's probably an average of 50 Saturday/Sunday jobs in retail and cafes, etc. Once you factor in university students, local college students, adults looking for part time work, it's hard and incredibly competitive. I never used to advertise for Saturday/Sunday workers because so many people were desperate for overtime and happy to do weekend shifts. Many places are the same.

I'd nudge him more towards volunteering in a field he thinks he may like to go into in the future. It seems more worthwhile to me.

Emboo19 · 10/04/2017 08:21

School isn't full time either. I had one half day at GCSE level then 8.30-2.45 every other day. Even less at A level with free periods thrown in.

user1471596238 · 10/04/2017 08:26

It may well be that Saturday jobs are hard to come by but surely the person concerned should at least try? Otherwise it's like creating a reason not to bother.

Floisme · 10/04/2017 08:28

I completely agree about the benefits of a part time job but what we did when we were 16 isn't relevant. Less than one in five young people now have 'Saturday jobs' (see earlier link) so unless you really do believe they're all lazy then something else must have changed.

Clearly there are still regional differences.

Emboo19 · 10/04/2017 08:43

I'm only 19 now, so I'm speaking from our things were for me recently. There will of course be some regional differences, but I found my peers who struggled were the fussy type, only wanting to work in certain shops etc! But then by 17/18 the ones of us who'd taken anything available had a better shot at the more coveted jobs, fashion/sports shops etc!
My best male friends first job was in a butchers and his mates all laughed at him, then he got a job at a well known sports shop and they were all begging him to get them trainers with his staff discount.

Emboo19 · 10/04/2017 08:44

How not our!

Floisme · 10/04/2017 08:46

So 80% of young people are too fussy?

Notso · 10/04/2017 08:52

Most of DD's friends who get EMA don't work, there's just a couple who do. We live in a poor town and there's a lot of part time and weekend jobs advertised. A few places have weekend jobs that are just for under 18's in education locally. Most of DD's friends in 6th form work, less of the ones in college work although the ones that do work more hours as its right in town and easy to go from college to work in free periods etc. The ones who tend not to work are doing more vocational courses so they are going out on placement doing unpaid work.

Floisme · 10/04/2017 08:56

There's no EMA in England any more.

ErrolTheDragon · 10/04/2017 08:59

School isn't full time either. I had one half day at GCSE level then 8.30-2.45 every other day.

Most schools are roughly 9-3:30 round here (never heard of one having a half day,
) but then by GCSE they should be doing a couple of hours of homework per night. So that does amount to full time hours.

Emboo19 · 10/04/2017 09:22

I looked on the gov site Floisme and 55% say they don't want a part time job as they want to concentrate on their studies! I'm a bit sceptical as the ones I knew in 6th form who said that, tended to be the ones going off into town when we had a free period, instead of getting work done and who'd come in to school tired from being out late!

Don't get me wrong, I was all for having fun as well! I just needed money to have fun and would much rather earn it myself than ask my parents for it! Ive always felt it's a bit wrong If you think you're old enough to go out drinking and to gigs and festivals. But then asking mum and dad to give you the money to do it!

aniceglassofchianti · 10/04/2017 09:33

Emboo19 absoloutley spot on.My daughter works on her studies in her frees and works what shifts she can, taking on extra cleaning jobs wen she can as well. Then she pays for her phone, gym, clothes and saving for uni and then we do not mind paying for other bits