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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with DH for offering DD's boyfriend (nearly 15) a beer?

22 replies

SomewhereNow · 09/04/2017 17:29

I know he meant well and was just trying to be a matey Dad (BF seems nice but is not very forthcoming, think he was just trying to break the ice a bit) but I think I'd be quite pissed off if someone one gave DD (14) alcohol without me knowing - we allow her some at home but that's our decision under our roof.

I like a drink and drank from around the same age so am not being a prude but I'm just not sure it's our decision to make.

OP posts:

Birdsgottaf1y · 09/04/2017 17:34

You disagree with him doing that, point out why you don't think he should have and then let it go.

toldmywrath · 09/04/2017 17:37

I'm with you OP. He should not have offered alcohol to someone so young. If he realises and doesn't do so again, then you can chalk this one down to experience.

araiwa · 09/04/2017 17:39

you let your 14 year old dd drink

he gave him a beer, they werent doing tequila shots til they passed out

PinkHeart59156816 · 09/04/2017 17:40

I agree with you.

It's fine to give your own child alcohol once they are of an age you feel comfortable with but I think offering it to someone else child is wrong unless of course you've spoke to parents first.

I assume you said all this to your dh and he will think next time

blackteasplease · 09/04/2017 17:40

I agree. Its a decision for his parents, not your dh.

ElspethFlashman · 09/04/2017 17:40

Ugh. Did he call him "mate" too?

TheStoic · 09/04/2017 17:42

He's trying to be a cool dad.

Original poster

SomewhereNow · 09/04/2017 17:44

In his defence I think he's trying to be a nice Dad and no he didn't call him 'mate'. But yes I've said I didn't think he should have and that if BF's Mum has a problem he can square it with her.

OP posts:

gammaraystar · 09/04/2017 17:51

He is probably having sex with your daughter, 1 beer is the least of your worries surely?

SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo · 09/04/2017 17:55

Bit of a leap there, gamma!

oldwife · 09/04/2017 18:01

Mm we used to let let teens have a small drink at home but offering another child is a bit off.

BitchQueen90 · 09/04/2017 18:04

I don't see the problem with 14 year olds having one supervised drink at home, however if it's not your child then it's not your place to decide. His parents might not be happy with it and it should be cleared with them first.

TheStoic · 09/04/2017 18:15

Nice = offering a coffee or tea.

Not alcohol. The kid must've thought .

VestalVirgin · 09/04/2017 18:23

YANBU

I would have been very weirded out at being offered alcohol by an adult when I was 14. Or 15. Actually, any age under 18.

Granted, I am female and there'd have been the danger of a man trying to get me drunk for sinister purposes, but I'd have been weirded out by a friend's mother doing this, too.

It's just not responsible adult behaviour, and as you weren't there, it seems like this was not even a "We have some beer with our meal and don't want to exclude the boyfriend" thing.

Original poster

SomewhereNow · 09/04/2017 18:29

No I was there, we were having a drink ourselves in the garden as it was a nice day and when DD went to the fridge to get something and saw that we had drinks she commented and DH said 'X can have a beer if he likes' in quite a throwaway fashion, he honestly wasn't being creepy. He didn't offer DD as she doesn't like beer (not that she drinks it regularly).

OP posts:

Trifleorbust · 09/04/2017 19:18

My friend's mum used to offer me a brandy from 14/15 - I did drink at that age with friends but I didn't think an adult should have been offering it to me!

SparklyPantaloons · 09/04/2017 19:39

Wtf Gamma?!

caffeinequick · 09/04/2017 19:40

I think that offering another child alcohol when they are underage is not on. Your own kids separate entirely.

Floggingmolly · 09/04/2017 19:42

Very odd thing to do

Original poster

SomewhereNow · 09/04/2017 19:45

Thanks for that insight gamma, I think I'll deal with that as and when it arises.

OP posts:

Rawr · 09/04/2017 22:02

Wtf Gamma?!

I mean, she's not wrong

Cooroo · 09/04/2017 22:25

Honestly to me it seems a bit ill-judged but friendly and not worth worrying about. Remind him the lad is under age and suggest he doesn't do it again.

Flip