To think you can't enjoy exercise if you just ... don't?

[catscurledupbythefire]

I would be interested if anybody ever has because I. Hate. It.

I hate - classes (am a bit thick slow to pick things up, so can take keep up. Plus can see myself in the mirror) the gym generally as I just get bored and it hurts and I can't focus on anything like music or a film because all I can think is 'ow this hurts, ow, ow, ow' walks (get bored on my own) running (no chance) cycling (hurts my backside) swimming (I just can't be doing with all the faff.)

So - any ideas? Or should I just write off exercise and moderate my food intake RIGHT down?

If you are unfit then strenuous physical activity tends to feel very unpleasant and stressful. As fitness improves what was hard feels less and less so

This is a very important point. I didn't do any sports until I was about 25. Nothing. Only the stuff they made us do at school, and I hated it with passion. You know that child who is always the last at every race, never picked for any teams? Me. Simply not sporty.

In my early 20s I tried some sports and like you, I literally could not run 30 seconds. Tried and tried but was just out of breath and in pain.

Then I tried classes and looked ridiculous. Even the most basic aerobics steps were way over my abilities, was totally unable to follow, bumping into everybody like an idiot.

But I did find something I quite liked that didn't require intensive cardio or complicated coreography. In my case this was Bodypump, but that doesnt' really matter, could have been anything. The point was that I didn't feel like I massively sucked at it, for a change. So I kept going. I got fitter. I started tentatively trying other things and as I didn't immediately get out of breath, I discovered I quite liked several other classes. And if I just jogged as slow as possible, this was quite enjoyable too.

I'm now a group fitness instructor and just signing up for another race (half-marathon this time). Close to 40, 2 small kids, fit and healthy. If you told me this 20 years ago, I would have laughed my head off.

tl;dr - if you can't find any sports you actually like, choose something that you don't hate too much. If you do something regularly, you will improve. When you get fitter, it and other sports will get more enjoyable.

Great post Katherina
🏅

I don't think it's even about being smaller, I think it's about seeing a bigger picture. Parts of your brain are so caught up in this vision of the future and they're frantically trying to close the gap and it's really, really hard to think while all that noise is going on.

All of the, "I won't enjoy this until..." that your mind is throwing at you is stopping you from doing anything. It's like there a log jam of thoughts and the more you push, the more the thoughts are all getting jammed up together (dear lord, won't someone think of the poor analogies).

I think it must just seem like such a massive piece of work to you, to get to where you want to be, that it's completely insurmountable. It's like trying to drive around the world in one go, it can't be done, which is why nothing is working or seems doable.

Give yourself a rest, do something that allows you to think without all of the chatter about loss and failure in the background. Mindfulness, meditation, compassion - have a rummage around the internet and see if there's anything that grabs your attention.

OP, I'm 43 and I hate exercise.

I've been going to Pilates for about 6 weeks now, and running for the same amount of time. It's getting better, and dare I say, I'm forming a habit.

If I can do it, you can do it.

Hi OP
sorry I have not read the whole thread, but from what I have read you sound very tired. Maybe it is just a stage of life thing, what with small child to look after. In this case, you will perhaps feel more enthusiastic about exercising in a year or two.
Or if you are very very tired in general, maybe consider whether you might be anaemic? It makes you feel breathless and very very tired. When I had it I felt like everyone was walking faster than me and I just wanted to lie down.

But what are those things kiki? I guess I agree with your post but I don't see how you can change it. I mean if you HAD to drive round the world why do mindfulness before you go?

It was just an example of something that seems massive when thought of as one activity. But it's something that can achieved day by day or step by step.

But, impatience (or some other feeling/emotion) steps in and tells you that because it's impossible to do it in one day then it's impossible to do it at all.

I get why you can't see how you can change things - you've got a voice in your head telling you that's this is how it is now, it's not where you want to be, there's a massive gap, give up. You're fighting against this and it must be exhausting. That's where the mindfulness comes in.

(Have I missed the point of your question? I'm not sure what things we're defining - tell me to make myself clearer 😀)

No not really - it might sound like I'm quizzing you but I feel you've 'got' me but then I don't really understand mindfulness or what you think I should be doing? Which isn't a criticism as I really am interested!

It's fine, quiz away 😀 You just sound more like catwhohasbeenbackedintoacorner.

If I've got you, then telling you find an exercise you like isn't going to work, you need to take a few steps back, which is where the mindfulness comes in. It's not a bad thing that you don't know a lot about it, you can dive in without preconceptions.

Could you do a bit of research into it? Try having a quick look at this Mindfulness book (I'm not a professional in mindfulness and meditation, but I know a bit about exercise).

I hate it. I hate all classes. I don't get the endorphins / feeling afterwards. I've tried most things, walking, swimming, spinning, gym machines, yoga, Pilates, circuits. Nope. Hate it all.

Also bear in mind those of us who generally like exercise also have terrible runs, classes where we are exhausted and other times when you just don't feel like it.

The thing that finally got me exercising properly in mid-life was realising that saying 'I hate exercise' is on a par with saying 'I hate reading' or 'I hate music' (or 'walking in the countryside is bloody boring'). In other words, not something to be admired, or indulged, but the sign of a limited, philistine, self-defeating attitude that just made people think I was a bit...thick
^^ Yup.
This whole thread (as in the OP's comments) has been "I hate", "I don't like", "I can't". You might as well just stretch out on the sofa and not move for the rest of your life. I don't enjoy walking but I get out there because I know my dog needs the exercise and because I know that once I'm out the door (or even inside putting my shoes on) I'll feel slightly more enthusiastic. And I'll feel virtuous for having done it on days when I really wanted to stay in. That's reward enough. I went through a spell of using the exercise bike at home by sticking music on to daydream to. It was seriously hard work at first but the more days I did it the easier it got. It's not going to be easy at first, very few things are, but you have to quit whining and get on with it.

I must admit I hate exercising and can't wait for it to be over but also find it hard to fit it in. For example, i don't mind swimming ( very slowly) but I work full time so can't go during the day, and in the evenings and weekends the pool is full of kids. If I do get the chance to swim I set a target of 20 lengths ( stopping to catch my breath after pretty much every one) and count them down. So at 5 lengths I'm a quarter of the way to being finished, at 10 lengths I'm halfway done. Wish there was a way to actually enjoy it!

You don't need to exercise to lose weight which what you seem to be saying. Eating crap food puts on weight. Execercise doesn't really take it off surprisingly. But exercising is much harder if you are heavier. I found a little exercise much easier and more enjoyable once I had lost weight.

OP, first you said you absolutely could not run. Later you said you could run short bursts, e.g. to a train. Well, that's running. So you can run. Lengthen the "short bursts".

Re. enjoying: I have run intermittently most of my life. These days I run between 6-10K every morning before work. I get the "runner's high". However, it only happens at about 3K and at a fitness level when I can relatively easily run 10K. So if you start running, you will eventually enjoy it. When you get to the point of running 10K. Until then you have to invest.

Exercise takes time to start to enjoy but it's great when you do. I started out doing HITT classes which I enjoyed because they are short (30 mins) and not choreography based. Does your gym offer anything like this?

I think the endorphins come later, I certainly didn't get them when I first started to exercise. I've only had a proper high a handful of times in the past 4 years since I've been exercising properly and that's amazing!

OP I don't know if you're still reading but have you tried Spin class? I know you said you don't like classes but the reason I suggest it is that you said you used to cycle to work, so you could definitely do this, plus it tends to be really dark so you don't have to pay attention to what's going on around you because you can't see anyway! And you can't get distracted and start chatting because they're blasting music anyway.

I've gone this year from not doing much exercise to doing a ton of spin and yoga, and one of the things that has helped is not to think about whether I want to go or not, I just go. That sounds simple, but I just treat it like a dentist appointment or a meeting - just something that I have to go to. I've also started completely clearing my mind in class and literally just doing as I'm told - I don't think 'this is hard/ouch it hurts/oh I hate this yoga pose' - I just do as much as I can of what the instructor is telling me to do and I don't think about it. It sounds mad but it has made a real difference to how quickly the class goes and how grumbly I feel about it.

I did a couple of spin classes but hated it because if you go for a bike ride there's lovely countryside to look at and fresh air to breathe.

Spin class is all the worst bits of cycling. The pain without the beauty. And dear God the music. Aaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!

YANBU!!! I hate excercise. I will always hate it. People who tell me I just need to ~find what I love~ get right up my chuff.

It's the worst! I hate being out of breath. I hate sweating. I hate discomfort. I hate getting changed. I hate aching. I hate stretching. I hate chlorine. Hate!!!

I have built TINY bits of VERY MILD excercise into my life by making a point to park far away from wherever I'm going; always taking the stairs; walking the dog instead of letting DH do it on his own.

I wish I got an endorphin rush and felt great about working out but I don't.

Oh god spinning! I did one class and passed out in the showers afterwards! NEVER AGAIN

I love the smell of chlorine in swimming pools, happy childhood memories come flooding back
Also love the pain of exercise, especially from weight lifting

Spin classes baffle me, but I have a friend who LOVES them. Being shouted at by a psychopath in the dark with flashing lights everywhere while in pain Works for my friend apparently!

I love outdoor cycling but find it very difficult to keep going on an exercise bike
Horses for courses 🐎🐴

Noodle, I agree. I do small group (sort of) high intensity classes, lots of weights, and I don't think about anything. Just do what I am told as best I can for 30mins. I find it very soothing mentally and I like the feeling afterwards. I think group exercise has changed a lot - there are all sorts at my gym, including many like me who are surprised to find themselves enjoying it!

You need to find something you enjoy, which doesn't feel like exercise. I love walking in the woods, so i go for long 1-2 hour walks through the woods, either alone or with friends. Fast walking. I enjoy swimming and ball games like tennis, so do this when i can. If you try to force yourself to do something grim that you hate doing, (which for me would be the gym or classes) then you'll never go.