Hand washing -help please

[disgusted123]

NC for this. It's really simple, I've just discovered that OH does not wash his hands after using the toilet. Neither does his DS7 and he claims he has never been taught to (at nearly 40). The assumption from this is that his DP do not wash hands after toilet either. I've talked to him about the importance of it and he is very dismissive, thinks I am being OTT and called me Howard Hughes. I've told him we would not have made it past first date if I knew he had such poor hygiene. It makes me feel sick. He says 80% of men don't wash their hands. I've obviously been with the right 20% previously as I have never known a man who doesn't wash until now. So wise women of Mumsnet, can you let me know AIBU? Am I being OTT in insisting on hand washing from OH and his DS. We have a DD together and I would hate for her to grow up thinking this is okay. It also makes me wary as PIL look after DD one day a week and now I don't want them to as they are preparing her food etc and clearly hygiene is not of any importance. Help me to convince him that this is not normal!

WHAT?! 63% is a real statistic? No way!

I'm not sure how you didn't know he doesn't wash his hands,

Did you never wonder why there was never the sound of tap running after he used loo?

Obviously you wouldn't be around every time he uses the loo, but a hand washing refuser is quite easy to spot - they come out of the loo very quickly.

What a load of hysteria. Of course it would be nice if he washed his hands every time but no big deal - he's only touched his willy! It's not that disgusting is it? I assume you touch it during sex?!

The 80% thing must be bollocks. I only know one male in my social circle that doesn't wash his hands after the toilet and I know this be a use the other males think it is gross and have discussed it and rib him for it.
I was my hands a lot and although I use a lot of hand cream they haven't fallen off yet.

I'm an obsessive hand washer but I don't wash my hands after a wee at home. Obviously I do in public toilets but home is clean.
I find it grosser when people have been out and don't wash their hands when they get in; my kids know to wash their hands as soon as they get in the house. I don't make them wash their hands after having a poo (because I wipe their bums)

That is foul. And the most unexpected people do it! I was horrified last year to see that a postgrad-educated friend who works in the NHS just sort of dabs the end of the tap with her hand without turning it on (presumably getting a drip on her hand but that's it) and saunters off.

I would genuinely ditch someone for this.

What does he think handwash is for??

I'm an obsessive hand washer but I don't wash my hands after a wee at home

That's gross. How can you think you're an 'obsessive hand washer'?

I don't make them wash their hands after having a poo (because I wipe their bums)

You should make them wash their hands so they learn to do it. Plus, they touch the toilet seat which will have germs.

I say this every time, so I'll say it again: if you have to touch a door handle to get out of the toilet/bathroom, then your hand washing counts for zip, because you can never know who has or hasn't washed their hands.

That's why so many new-fangled public lavatories have no doors except on the cubicle, relying on a series of strategically placed walls to give privacy to the users. In this way, no-one is compromised by non-washers.

Back home, you just need to ensure that hands are washed before food preparation.

Meh, I don't wash my hands often, same with DP. We're never ill.

A bit of germs is good to build your immunity

P.S. Most toothbrushes are covered in trace amount of fecal matter. Maybe you should stop brushing OP?

I'd have no hands left if I washed every time I went to the toilet, honestly

Are you made of paper?

OP, what dangerous microorganisms do you think reside on your OH's penis that are not present elsewhere on his body?

I wash my hands before preparing food ALWAYS. Not always after a wee though. Haven't had a day off work ill in three years and my kids have never had antibiotics.

OP, you have my sympathies! My DM has dementia and stop washing her hands after the loo about a year ago, nothing I do makes her wash. The day I stood over her at the sink she tried running the water but not putting her hands into it and hated the liquid soap.. at least you have a chance with your DH!

I work in a primary school. I had been there for 4 years and the caretaker casually mentions one day that the soap in the boys toilet hasn't needed topping up in the last 5 years as it never gets used. The girls gets refilled every other day.
Needless to say, when I found out, I went mad. Did a whole hand washing lesson with the whole year group.

Well done Izzy.

Think I need to stop eating out [boak]

YANBU but it does seem to be a man thing. I'm trying, and sometimes failing, to get hand washing to become an ingrained behaviour in the DS's. Every time they're in the loo I shout, "Wash your hands!" and listen for the sound of water running. Perhaps you need to spend the next 10 years doing this OP to see if your DH can change his ways!
For me it's about more than just not wanting to eat food he's prepared after touching his penis or wiping his arse (gross!), it's also about stopping the spread of cold viruses and vomiting bug type infections.

I don't wash my hands after a wee at home. Certainly in winter its about the only thing that keeps the eczema on my hands under control.

I wash my hands before preparing food obviously and in public loos and if I do a poo!

Far grimmer in a chap who actually has to touch his penis to wee

I don't think it is a male thing, am always surprised at the number of women who come out of the loo, apply lipstick and leave.