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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fuming about this evening..

40 replies

Daisydots · 08/04/2017 23:02

My best friend of 6 years has recently introduced me to her main group of friends that she knows from school. They see each other quite regularly, and I've just started to be invited to the odd thing with them all

The last time I went out with them was New Year's eve and one member of the group didn't show up until 11.30, keeping us all waiting at a pub we were meant to be just be meeting in before moving somewhere else for midnight

Tonight is the girl in questions birthday drinks. My bestfriend and the others are waiting for her and then they're coming over to the town where I live (more places to go out) so I'm at home waiting for them to arrive. Except its now 11pm and the 'birthday girl' hasn't shown up. I'm sat at home now thinking its too late to go out and I've got all dressed up for nothing, as well as having paid a babysitter.

I'm so cross that I've A) been stood up essentially and B) that they all put up with her shit. I don't understand why the plans always revolve around her when she can't even show up on her birthday? AIBU?

OP posts:

differentnameforthis · 09/04/2017 04:18

Go to the concert, just meet them all there instead of waiting.

SoulAccount · 09/04/2017 04:20

If you want to go to the gig, just make sure you have hold of your own ticket and can go independently. Tell your friend that you need your own late-proof plan.

Your friend may we'll join you.

Jemimapiddleduck · 09/04/2017 06:29

I really like above posters idea of just going on with things if people are over half an hour late.

The people who are always late in my life (mother and friend) are both however notorious for texting and letting me know hey will be late - fine, that's considerate but it doesn't make it better that you are over an hour late every time we agree to do something!

Mum has actually gotten better now I've started having a go at her

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 09/04/2017 06:43

I hate this- had a similar friend and the nail on coffin for me was when a spa weekend for another friends 21st was wrecked as Sally-come-lately was late so when we finally got to hotel,everything was rushed and took all the relaxation out of it- that was it for Me!

floraeasy · 09/04/2017 07:11

Is this Tardy Lass the queen bee of the group, perhaps? It certainly seems as if everyone panders to her.

As you say, you don't need to become one of her Ladies in Waiting.

I think your plan to avoid outings in which she features in future is a good one.

CaoNiMartacus · 09/04/2017 08:36

I doubt it's anxiety issues, as a PP suggested. It's been going on for years, by the sound of it. Surely if she was suffering from anxiety she would let her friends know so they'd be prepared, to minimise the inconvenience.

I've had occasions where I've been unable to attend something due to anxiety. The last thing I would do would be to make people wait for me for FOUR hours. The thought of it makes me physically cringe.

ethelfleda · 09/04/2017 08:48

I hate being even ten minutes late to things like this - and will text to say I'm running ten minutes late. 4 hours is ridiculous! Sounds like an incredibly selfish person to me!

SparkyBlue · 09/04/2017 08:53

She sounds like a nightmare. I would steer clear of her in future.

IHeartDodo · 09/04/2017 09:17

Eugh that is just unbelievably rude!
I was annoyed at my friends the other day when I was meant to meet 4 of them at 6. I texted to say I'd be 5 mins late and got no reply, when I turned up (at 10 past) there was no-one there! 2 arrived at half past and the other 2 at 6:50!
But this is a whole new level, I'd have just gone into town and joined the main group.

diddl · 09/04/2017 09:18

I'm guessing that the others weren't pissed of as they were managing to have a night out.

Perhaps her not enjoying herself on her birthday celebrations might give her a kick up the arse?

KungFuEric · 09/04/2017 09:19

Why didn't your friends let you know she was running late and you go to their town at about 9ish?

Original poster

Daisydots · 09/04/2017 13:07

@kungfueric i wasn't hardly being updated and I didn't want to get an expensive taxi to their town only to turn around 5 minutes later if the birthday girl arrived

They were aware of this!

OP posts:

Wando1986 · 09/04/2017 13:14

I have a friend like this. She showed up almost 3 hours late for coffee the other week because "she had a bath in the morning", (coffee was at 1.30pm 🙄). We left 15 minutes later and told her she needed to get her shit together (in a nicer way) as she was just taking the piss with people. If every one else can get to places on time then there's no reason they can't. Is it so hard to just figure out how long things will take and start getting ready that amount of time before?!

unicorn5629 · 09/04/2017 13:56

I feel your pain! I have one albeit amazing friend who is late for everything. She's never hours late it's more always in busy situations i.e. Meeting in a busy city the weekend before Christmas when everything is rammed busy and she's "just parking" when you've met at said waiting place holding a table or when you have a designated slot for something and the time she's late is eating in to it, making it a lot less worth the money ! Good job I bloody love her !

MiddleClassProblem · 09/04/2017 14:10

Re the concert I would ask for my ticket and say I'd meet them there if it was something I really wanted to go to

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