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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A wee bit gobsmacked by this. Do you think it's normal or odd? (Dog related)

51 replies

chastenedButStillSmiling · 08/04/2017 17:43

DD came home a few weeks/a month or so ago and asked us if we'd have her friend J's dog over the Easter hols while they are away on a family holiday. I said yes, sure, tell the parents to get in touch with me and we'd discuss. (We have a dog, which I'm guessing is why they asked. Ours is quite big - a boxer-cross and nowadays is sadly a grumpy old lady). Their dog is a little itty-bitty fluffy white thing.
Anyway, never heard from them, never gave it another thought.

DD comes home from school on Friday saying "is it still ok for you to have J's dog on Monday?". And I was "erm... had totally forgotten, but it's fine. They need to get in touch with me". DD said she'd message J. Told me today that J would come round with dog today (apparently in J's mind they were coming on Sunday, but DD had said that didn't leave them much time to find an alternative if the dogs didn't get on.

Knock on the door, it's J with the dog (who is v sweet). Her dad has dropped her and dog off and left.

WTF??? Are the parents not even going to speak to us? When DD first mentioned this, she said they were offering to pay us, but we said "don't need paying, just cover dog's expenses so we're not out of pocket"). And it was odd, because after 10 mins it was clear the dogs would be fine together, so J rang her dad who got home and literally had to come out again to come and pick her up.

DD and J (not her real inital, btw) have been friends around 2 years. J lives in the swankiest part of town in an enoooooormous pad. We live in a v ordinary terrace. I've had one face-to-face conversation with the mum and met the dad plus one text conversation. I was very aware when I met her, that I don't usually stand that close to so much money!
Do they not have ANY desire to check out where their dog will be living for a week? Do they not want to make sure we know when it's fed and what, what it's toilet routines are, etc? (J was quite vague "she doesn't really eat a lot. She likes treats" and "if you're busy she doesn't really mind not having a walk")
Do they not want to say 'thank you' to us? Maybe they'd have preferred it to have been a financial arrangement?
Maybe MN wouldn't find this odd at all. But we do.

Not sure what to do about it, though. And got no issues having the dog for a week.... We'll be at home cos sch hols, so it's not a problem, and the dog is sweet. I do think the parents are a bit rude, though. Or maybe we're the weird ones for wanting to make sure my dog wasn't going to eat theirs in one big gulp???

OP posts:
flossisboss · 08/04/2017 23:00

That's seriously rude and irresponsible! I would never do that with my dog! What the hell are they thinking?! It doesn't matter how experienced or knowledgeable the person caring for the dog is, I would always want some sort of 'handover' discussion.

Zandra123 · 08/04/2017 23:22

Sounds like a bichon frise if it's curly, the same as my little white fluff. You may fall in love and keep him, they are very sweet dogs .

honeylulu · 08/04/2017 23:40

It is odd and rude.
Suggest you send them a message saying you presume they will return the favour and have your boxer the following week and your daughter will drop her round while you wait in the taxi heading off to the airport. See how they like that!
(Joke obviously but don't tell them that.)

Birdsgottaf1y · 08/04/2017 23:41

If they didn't have money and were poorer than you and their dog was a cross-bull terrier, would you doubt that they are rude and free load whenever they can?

Some breeds of dog don't do well in kennels, but you settle them in, with a few visits if you can, with the minder.

Withhold judgement to see if your DD gets a nice present, but they've behaved terribly.

I love having dogs to stay, though, so I'd overlook that, for a week with a fluff ball.

Original poster
chastenedButStillSmiling · 08/04/2017 23:49

To be utterly clear Birds, I'm very happy to have the dog, and no problem with it. I think we'll have a nice week. We're not doing anything... I'm not working so walks won't be a problem even I have to walk one and then the other. And a little lap dog curling up on my lap of an evening will be lovely. I just think they're rude to not talk to me in person. It's like they're scared I'll try and be their friend or something. If you listen to The Archers, I think they think I'm Susan Carter! I am not gagging to be friends with the posh people!

OP posts:
Original poster
chastenedButStillSmiling · 08/04/2017 23:55

just talked to DH and DD... We're going to use straighteners and dye her fur. I wanted green so it looks like snot. DD thinks black. I'm going with that!

OP posts:
shadowfax07 · 09/04/2017 00:10

Even when my dog goes on his holidays to my sister's, I'll give her enough food, treats, toys, poo bags etc for the duration, with a rough timetable of what he has when. She also is given our vets details and the dog"s file containing his insurance policy, chip details, vaccination record, etc, etc. Having had to get a previous dog to a strange vets after an accident, having all those things in one place and accessible made that time less stressful.

I like the idea of dying the dog, but I think green would be better. Grin

Original poster
chastenedButStillSmiling · 09/04/2017 01:46

Green would be great! But I think they'd hate black just as much. Can we turn this pup into a Rastafarian?

Are there trans-dogs, or is that a leap too far?

OP posts:
MMM3 · 09/04/2017 07:25

Oh dear, please don't torment the pup.

Posh people don't do personal type favors for each other. I live in a tiny old house surrounded by mansions and I can tell you, no one is doing things like running friends to the airport or taking in the newspapers.

Almost certainly, they'd planned to use a kennel but the girls planned this puppy slumber party and the parents are "Errrrrrmmmm... Ummmm... Are you sure? Ok... Let us give them some money at least? Well let's make sure the dogs get along first?" Kennels have vets and food, so they probably didn't think of those and I have a similar dog (a Bolognese) who makes do on a few rounds of fetch up and down the stairs when the weather is icy. (Also goodness no, don't bathe a curly haired dog at home. It'll get nappy and need to be shaved.)

Try calling them. I'd give them the benefit of the doubt that they just don't know the protocol, feel awkward, and left it to the kids. (Unless they're dreadful otherwise, but I didn't get that from your post)

TooGood2BeFalse · 09/04/2017 08:16

Yanbu. I have a 7 year old poodle peke cross..I have to admit since having my kids (youngest 8 months) I find him very hard work (always barking...scratching doors to get in bedrooms,often waking baby up, peeing on their toys etc.) But I would be really nervous leaving him with virtual strangers and would probably end up leaving something twatty like a written hand book Blush

PidgeonSpray · 09/04/2017 08:23

This is very very rude.

Was there a parking space outside (if not, maybe that's why he dropped and left). But why haven't they called you!!?

When do they actually drop the dog off? There's still time for them to give food, treats, poop bags, care instructions and THANKS (hopefully! ) x

lljkk · 09/04/2017 08:58

Not everyone views their pet as a fur baby. I wouldn't drop & run like that, but I half wonder if it might be saner & more sensible than helicoptering over a dog's needs.

I hope you have a good week together.

Welshmaenad · 09/04/2017 10:09

A Bolognese GrinGrinGrinGrin

Nousernameforme · 09/04/2017 12:07

Heh I googled it's actually a type of dog one of those perpetually scruffy looking ones

themusicmum · 09/04/2017 12:12

If I hadn't heard from the parents about the dog, I wouldn't have taken the dog. How strange?

IloveBanff · 09/04/2017 12:15

MMM3 "Oh dear, please don't torment the pup."

Huh? Confused I am sure the OP has no intention of doing any such thing.

RiversrunWoodville · 09/04/2017 12:30

Hot pink Grin

hackmum · 09/04/2017 13:09

Incredibly ill-mannered.

GrumpyOldBag · 09/04/2017 14:05

Posh people don't do personal type favors for each other.

There is a grain of truth in this. I have a friend who will have my dog to stay if my parents are also away, but I would always expect to pay him.

There would still also be profuse thanks involved though. It seems really weird. I guess we'll have to wait until the parents gent back to find the outcome. Maybe you'll get one of those boxes of chocs they sell at the airport branded "Thank you for looking after my dog".

MMM3 · 09/04/2017 18:12

@IloveBanff

I meant the proposed dye job. I'm 99% sure it was a joke, but unfortunately I speak from experience... A few years ago DD took our pup along to her father's house and thought it would be fun to dye her pink for Easter... This type of dog has hair as opposed to fur, so it didn't shed out gradually, and "washes out in 4-6 shampoos" means a week or so for a person, but a few months for a pup. Ultimately, she did have to be shaved to get it out.

Stormtreader · 10/04/2017 12:44

"had totally forgotten, but it's fine. They need to get in touch with me"

Youd be better changing your "yes, but" into a "no, unless".
By starting off with yes, youre removing the need for them to contact you. If you say "well not at the moment because I still havent heard from them!" then they would have to have contacted you.

Milliways · 22/04/2017 06:13

Did they ever say Thank You in the end?

emmyhNL · 22/04/2017 06:20

Any update OP? How was the week with the dog?

SeaWitchly · 22/04/2017 06:26

I think this is weird, rude and irresponsible of the parents.
They should have at least left you with food for the dog, money for more food / doggy treats and a number on which you can reach them for any emergencies. also the details of their dog's vet.
And there should have been a handover of the dog's habits, likes / dislikes... and profuse thanks for doing this favour for them.
I would give them a call and demand some sort of a handover tbh.

DeadGood · 22/04/2017 06:44

Ohh, I was so hoping for an update! Christ thet were rude!