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AIBU?

Meeting newlyweds on their honeymoon

32 replies

exPatinthesun · 08/04/2017 09:26

DH and I are ex pats and live in a sunny country. We often have people out to visit and stay with us and are generally quite a sociable couple. One of his friends has just got married two weeks ago and they are in this country on their honeymoon, DH arranged to meet them and took them for a fancy dinner the other night and then he met up with them the day after and now he was texting his friend trying to arrange to meet them again today. They go home the day after tomorrow and I think DH should leave them alone as they are on their honeymoon. If I was the wife I would be sick of friends pestering us on honeymoon! Should I tell DH to leave it or just let him get on with it?

OP posts:

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treaclesoda · 08/04/2017 09:29

It's hard to say. Most people on honeymoon these days aren't having their first experience of holidaying together, or sleeping in same bed, it having sex, so it's not really the big deal that it used to be.

So it really depends on whether they are the sort of couple who like to socialise with other people in general I suppose.

AppleOfMyEye10 · 08/04/2017 09:35

Agree with treacle.
Maybe tell you dh to leave it up to them. Sort of say you both are available if they would like to do get together and let you guys know? That way they don't feel as if they have to, and if they change their mind they know you would be available.

TheNaze73 · 08/04/2017 09:40

I'd be well pissed off to be honest.

Trills · 08/04/2017 09:41

Agree with treaclesoda that some couples would like it and some would not.

The difficulty is how to offer to meet up without them feeling obliged to take you up on the offer.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 08/04/2017 09:44

I would imagine the couple, seeing as they are married, are well and truly old enough to be able to make these decisions for themselves and say no if they don't want to meet.

Why aren't you meeting them too, that is what seems odd to me.

exPatinthesun · 08/04/2017 09:49

Sorry I was meeting them too I was with DH. I got the impression the wife was hoping to meet once and leave it there but my DH and her DH are the ones more keen on meeting all the time that's why I thought I should maybe try to reign him in. She's very polite and my DH kind of insists on meeting them.

OP posts:

honeylulu · 08/04/2017 09:57

If I was the wife I'd bloody hate that!!!
Meeting up for one dinner is really nice, especially as you treated them but that is definitely enough.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/04/2017 10:00

This would drive me insane as his wife. They are on their honeymoon. Have you told your dh?

Hulder · 08/04/2017 10:03

If I was the wife, I'd be feeling pretty murderous right now.

I'd point out to your DH it's their honeymoon and leave it for the friend AND his lovely new wife to get it touch if they want to.

On our honeymoon, we kind of had plans not just shagging for most of the days. It's not just that it's your honeymoon, it's usually a bit of a dream holiday too.

blankmind · 08/04/2017 10:05

Tell your DH he is being too intrusive, such insensitivity to the new wife's perception of a honeymoon which is NOT let's see your mate nearly every day.

mumeeee · 08/04/2017 10:05

I would tell you DH to leave it and let the couple enjoy their honeymoon

EnormousTiger · 08/04/2017 10:12

We were in Bermuda at a hotel last summer and up early my 3 boys were out trying to catch Pokemons in the grounds. Guess who they kept meeting there - a male honeymooner doing the same! I wonder what his wife thought. I expect it didn't matter as they had so many other hours a day to do things in.

It will just depend on the couple.

Megatherium · 08/04/2017 10:14

Yes, of course he should leave them alone. Even if his mate is quite keen, your DH shouldn't be encouraging him to spoil the honeymoon.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 08/04/2017 10:15

I'd leave the ball in their court.

DevelopingDetritus · 08/04/2017 10:15

I think maybe you could have met up with them once then left it there. You've obviously picked up on the wife being uncomfortable. The men either don't give a shit or are oblivious. Time for the women to stand their ground me thinks.

SpreadYourHappiness · 08/04/2017 11:20

I'd be furious. There's no way I'd have wanted to meet anyone on my honeymoon; it was a special time for me and DH, no one else.

exLtEveDallas · 08/04/2017 11:31

Ahh, it really depends on the couple. Friends of ours booked the same holiday as us, after us and decided to turn it into their honeymoon (v quick registry office wedding).

DH and the groom were besties, me and the bride were friends.

Thankfully our rooms were opposite sides of the complex so we could have 'time out' from each other, but we met up most days. I think I was more put out than the B&G tbh!

BloomingDaffodil · 08/04/2017 11:33

they could always say no

honeyroar · 08/04/2017 11:35

I think meeting them as you have done is fine and any more is too much.

DingDongtheWitchIsDangDiddlyDe · 08/04/2017 11:35

Did they lose the ability to say no when they got married?

Frazzled2207 · 08/04/2017 11:37

Agree they're probably grown up enough to say no, but I think your dh should leave the ball in their court eg "if you want to meet up again before you go home let me know".
Meeting up once isn't unreasonable at all but I'd be cross if I was the dw and I felt pressured to go out with my new dh's friends.
She may be more relaxed though.

EssentialHummus · 08/04/2017 11:41

Two friends who got married invited me (and others!) to join them on theirs! They were coming to Europe from quite far away and enjoyed catching up with everyone. I wouldn't go for that myself, but they liked it.

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honeyroar · 08/04/2017 11:42

The husband clearly thinks it's fun to meet up, so doesn't want to say no, whereas the wife doesn't seem to want to, but is too shy to say no (from what op said). Theyre not on the same page. So it's not a case of them losing the ability to say no, the wife needs to say no to her husband, but probably feels mean stopping him from seeing his old friend. I expect she's hoping he would be more romantic on their honeymoon and not want to spend so much time with other people.

LightDrizzle · 08/04/2017 11:43

Oh put your foot down and tell your DH to text saying his own "her indoors" is insisting you both leave them alone to enjoy the rest of their honeymoon so it will have to be another time. No chance of offence and the wife will love you forever.

Sgtmajormummy · 08/04/2017 11:55

I asked if I could see my best friend/ University roommate when they came to my country on honeymoon, as I was too skint to fly back for the wedding.

It was just one evening and lovely to catch up. But they were in a longstanding relationship and well past the stage of needing to be "alone" together.
Depends on the couple, I suppose...

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