Name changed as it's about someone I know IRL!
Background: I've known this woman for quite a few years now. We met through a shared interest and struck up a friendship when we had kids around the same time. As I got to know her better I did start finding her a bit overbearing and she clearly wanted a closer friendship than I did. Eventually I started putting a bit of distance between us, helped along by my DS stopping their shared activity. We used to see each other quite often, but apart from the DC's respective birthday parties we've not crossed each other's doorsteps for over a year. No falling out, we chat if we bump into one another, but we've drifted apart quite a bit from how things used to be.
One way we didn't click was that I'm very introverted and independent, whereas she likes constant company and wanted an it-takes-a-village setup where we and our DC would be in and out of one another's houses non stop, swapping childcare favours several times a week and so on. We have each done lots of favours for one another over the years, and I was always willing to help in an emergency, especially as she's a single mum (ex still very involved and financially supportive, though). But she wouldn't really try to avoid needing help, IYSWIM. She'd schedule things on the assumption that I or some other friend would have her son for the day, and then ask me afterwards - feeling sure it would be fine because she'd be fine with it in reverse. Or she'd ask a regular favour that could have been avoided if she'd compromised on what she wanted to do. For example, I used to wait with her son after school for 15 minutes every day while she got back from work. I thought she couldn't make it any earlier because of her shift times. Later I discovered it was purely so she could park at her house and then walk to school rather than drive straight there from work and have her son get used to going home in the car. Only a tiny favour, but every day it adds up, especially in the rain!
I know lots of people would be more chilled about this stuff, but I find it hard work having people round (and her son's behaviour is less than delightful but that's another post!) so for me it's a biggish ask.
Anyway, the whole point (I'm getting there) is that despite seeing very little of her these days, I still seem to be on the childcare roster. Occasionally she'll need an emergency pickup if she's stuck in traffic, which I don't mind doing, but it's not just that. Every school holiday I get asked to take her son for at least one whole day while she works - that's how she organises her care, she patches it together with friends.
This time I've politely said no because I'm genuinely not well enough at the moment - that's not something I can change so I'm happy that I'm NBU about that. Am I being curmudgeonly though to roll my eyes at still being asked? She's always OK about it if I say no, she knows it's a favour, but then she hasn't been asked to help me with anything for a very long time, we've not even sat down for coffee together for a year, and the only messages I ever get from her are asking favours - I wouldn't feel able to ask in her shoes. I'd use the blinking holiday club!