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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if I was being weird?

78 replies

lunchisabanquet · 06/04/2017 22:35

One of those memories came up on Facebook of me and some friends at a hen party. Shared it and tagged friends but one had deleted me so I put 'unfortunately I can't tag 'anna' as she has deleted me.'

Then I got an irate message from Anna telling me why she deleted me and to take down my status at once did I do something wrong?

OP posts:
NotStoppedAllDay · 06/04/2017 23:51

Weirdest Facebook related incident I've ever heard of!!

SpareASquare · 07/04/2017 00:00

You knew what you were doing OP. Own it.

You were rude. No need to mention her at all let alone to publicly make a big deal about having been deleted. Did you get the result you wanted?

BigGrannyPants · 07/04/2017 00:05

I have had friends delete me during elections etc but it's never been something that affects our friendship in real life Grin

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 07/04/2017 00:22

@Kalizahara
"Well I agree with you on brexit, but why do people post their political beliefs all over social media? It's obviously going to rub people up the wrong way."

I don't understand why people talk about their relationships in depth on FB when they could be taking about politics.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/04/2017 00:24

I disagree with most people here. If the person deleted you, why can't you mention it on FB. It's not a secret is it?

Gwenhwyfar · 07/04/2017 00:25

"Why would you make a public statement about someone deleting you ? Very rude of you. confused"

It's more rude to delete someone surely?

MommaGee · 07/04/2017 00:25

Its not a secret but it is passive aggressive to write it like that and sounds like it was engineered to get lots of "oh why????" and sympathy

CinnamonSwirlGirl85 · 07/04/2017 04:59

I agree with TheSnork. Why can't people post about politics? It's much more interesting than the constant bragging about kids/partners/careers etc (and certainly more interesting than the oversharers and those who have relationship dramas plastered over Facebook) Grin.

That said, I did have to unfollow a number of Brexiteers and Trump supporters (and I agree that full on deleting is unnecessarily aggressive...except for the few uber twats out there!).

ClemDanfango · 07/04/2017 05:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperBeagle · 07/04/2017 05:18

Bloody odd to mention that she'd deleted you on the picture...

Like, just don't tag her and get over it? It's Facebook, not a forum for airing your grievances with your friends publicly.

It just screams, "Woe is me. Anna deleted me. Pls join in with my bitching and moaning or ask me why. I crave attention".

Gwenhwyfar · 08/04/2017 23:04

" It's Facebook, not a forum for airing your grievances with your friends publicly. "

Why not? If you'd talk about it in real life, why can't you talk about it on FB. If the friend doesn't like it, she shouldn't have deleted OP in the first place.

PoorYorick · 09/04/2017 07:18

If you'd talk about it in real life, why can't you talk about it on FB.

I've got friends who have distanced themselves from me in the past for no reason that I know of. I could talk to them directly about it, or I could quietly ask a mutual friend if they know what's happened. But I wouldn't send a mass communication to everyone I and they know making a passive aggressive comment about it. Which is basically what you're doing when you start fights via Facebook posts.

FourToTheFloor · 09/04/2017 07:31

But OP knows why she was deleted and I think was calling Ana out of her childish behaviour.

Good for you OP.

Zhan · 09/04/2017 07:33

Sounds like you were being goady. I just wouldn't have mentioned her.

Pigface1 · 09/04/2017 08:02

All sounds a bit childish - I think you were both being U.

eternalopt · 09/04/2017 08:06

Anna sounds like a bit of a twat to me. Sod her.

Oysterbabe · 09/04/2017 08:09

I deleted a few people over Brexit, the ones who were smuggly gloating at the result and saying Remoaners need to suck it up. They were acquaintences more than friends so no loss really.
Many remainers were quite upset at the result so I'm not surprised if a lot of deletions took place. We're you one of the gloaty annoying ones?

OhhBetty · 09/04/2017 08:11

What's the point of calling someone out on their behaviour if you just play dumb about it after? You knew how it would come across, you just didn't expect a reaction. If I saw you'd written that I'd think you were a bit petty! I delete people all the time as do many people.

PoorYorick · 09/04/2017 08:21

I don't see what's childish about quietly unfriending someone if, for whatever reason, you don't want to be friends with them. Kicking up a public fuss about it, now....

ChasedByBees · 09/04/2017 09:35

You were stating a fact. I don't think you were being weird but it depends what tone of voice the text was read in really.

Gwenhwyfar · 09/04/2017 09:48

"I delete people all the time as do many people."

I delete people too, but they are people I either don't like very much (maybe added by mistake or through a sense of obligation) or that I never knew very well to begin with and then had little contact with. If I unfriended someone I was actually friends with in real life, I would expect to be picked up on it.

user1483387154 · 09/04/2017 09:50

Very goady and not necessary. You could have just asked if someone could Tag Anna. There was no need for the rest of your comment at all.

Dozer · 09/04/2017 09:52

Yes, you showed poor FB etiquette!

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 09/04/2017 09:54

See it's stuff like this that gives FB a really bad name.

Used properyly and by consenting adults Grin it's a useful tool, but I am not very seriously thinking there should be some kind of test of emotional literacy before you're allowed on!

Grin
Edballsisoneniftydancer · 09/04/2017 09:55

properly