To be annoyed by comments (party thread)

[Jakeyboy1]

Had party for my son at weekend (5), had entertainer in a hall.

Will share with you some comments from parents;

1 - sarcastically as I open 3 large family size bags of crisps and put into a bowl "wow I see you're going to a lot of effort there!" (Said by the mum who put one unopened packet of small crisps between 4 out at her party and all the kids had a fight over them)

2 - "god did you buy those sandwiches you didn't even make them" me "I made them I am quite capable of making sandwiches thank you" this was my sister who never does a party for her child as too much effort. Sandwiches were crappy jam sandwiches I placed in foil trays - hardly looked like an M&S platter but I'll take that as a compliment.

3 - as I get cake out of the box - random dad - "oh so you aren't even going to pretend you made it then, my wife makes all our cakes"

There was a few more that I won't bore you with.

?!?!!?!

What is the matter with people? Why the digs? Most of these either don't do parties or go to soft play and pay for it all done for you and if I had made comments the other way round it wouldn't have gone down well. Can people not just shut the fuck up and be grateful their child is being entertained for 2 hours?
Did party after a v stressful week at work with massive pitch, was actually feeling quite proud of myself before the digs.
Rant over, sorry it's been vexing me!

I think you're being a bit over sensitive. Yes the people were a bit cheeky but I expect they were meaning it in a jokey kind of way rather than a slur on your party planning skills.

So many rude people at a party - I am incredulous too!

I have a really dry sense of humour and would have found each of those comments quite funny and might even make them myself responded as such.

Alternatively I would think it was parents who don't really know each other well sticking their foot in it try to make small talk and laugh and try to make my guests feel comfortable.

The last thing I would think is they were digs (apart from your dsis who you know so can judge better) or rude and I wouldn't waste energy getting annoyed or ranting about it.

Maybe you need to reflect on your own perception, reactions and need to defend yourself by berating others way of doing things (they don't do parties). Why do you jump straight to thinking so many other people have negative intentions?

I will never understand people who think they HAVE TO share their negative opinions with everyone else. And if bet if you'd said anything in reply to those people, it would be you who they'd accuse of being rude .

YADNBU. Ungrateful twats. I bet the kids had a great time, and that's all that matters :).

I've heard all of these comments but tbh I just laugh it off! I'm genuinely impressed that you invited a bunch of kids and made sandwiches yourself, I certainly wouldn't expect a homemade cake as well! I've no patience for kids parties at the best of times and always try to go somewhere where someone else does all the graft. On the rare occasion I have needed to do food I always order the lot from M&S. Cakes are from Waitrose online or a lovely local lady who is fabulous. I could have a go at baking one but it would take me hours and in all honesty wouldn't be anywhere near as good so why waste my time? The kids couldn't care less where the party food comes from or if the cake is homemade so I've no idea why a snotty parent feels the need to comment. I was once asked if I'd even bothered to made the 'fruit kebabs' myself, my husband spat out his coffee laughing (erm... no!) They didn't ask about the cake YANBU at all, you did a fab job and they sound dreadful, but please don't let it bother you!

Do I live on another planet. No one on the planet I live would dream of passing comment over food at a party that parents had be good enough to invite their child to.

Where are these rude people coming from.

"3 - as I get cake out of the box - random dad - "oh so you aren't even going to pretend you made it then, my wife makes all our cakes""

Right so you fob the job off onto someone else as well?

My children miraculously all grew to adulthood never having endured experienced a maternally made cake. Somehow they remain unscarred but with many happy memories of Costco catered parties. Looking back, this is true for most of their friends. First birthdays may have used a proudly made cake but as soon as the numbers rise Costco is your friend.

I'm struggling to comprehend how people have such brass balls to be so rude...

I would have responded "what on earth are you trying to say?" with a tinkly laugh and the death stare to sister and the crisp woman.
As for the dad and his comment about his wife making all the cakes, I would have been tempted to say "how very 1950's, poor woman!"

I would assume that they were being socially awkward rather than having a dig OP. At nursery / reception / yr 1 parties with halls and entertainers / bouncy castles it can be a bit awkward with lots of parents milling around who dont really know one another, and trying to make small talk for hours. I have lost count of the number of times Ive said something and thought - oh god did that come out wrong? But because I dont know the person its not that easy to always correct yourself. I would honestly assume that people were just trying to talk to you and put their foot in their mouth rather than have a go.....

Thankfully DD and DS are 8 and 9 now so no longer have those parties. Oh and Ive never made either of them a cake!

Socially awkward. No fuckin down right rude. If you've really got nothing to say you don't need to say anything. Or just chat shit

I had started a yearly tradition of taking DD to waitrose to choose her birthday cake after swearing off spending £££ getting a cake made that she barely glanced at. This year I did make one, never again, because neither waitrose or m and s did a chocolate heart shaped one.
DS got shop bought paw patrol one and was delighted.

Why parties? this is just mob fever which leads to competitiveness and the sort of nasty comments OP received. DC had none before 6 and then a couple of shared ones and thereafter none. DC still popular and happy.

Mumsnet bingo. Wondered how long it would be before someone came along with a 'parties are for sheep just trying to out do one another, we never had parties for our DC because we're far superior to you' comment. [Rolls eyes].

The reason we're having a party is because my child has never been so excited for something in her life, it will bring her (and therefore us) great joy. If she wasn't bothered we wouldn't have one, as i imagine is the case for most people on here.

The reason we're having a party is because my child has never been so excited for something in her life

This, pretty much. The one DS has just had (his 5th birthday) has been his first party ever, as all our families and most friends are not in this country/very far away, so there's no possibility of a low-key family get together. I anticipate that in year 1 onward, there won't be any more big parties, it'll be a few close friends, so this was the year to do it.

Neither do I see any competitiveness - it's been a variety of soft play, people's houses, village hall stuff.

Not like Dubai, where I have never seen anything like the competitively lavish children's parties -- renting Ski Dubai or an inflatable cinema screen, blow up sofas and people dressed up as usherettes, break-dancing superheroes, singing telegrams, 'food stations' and fresh juice bars, professionally 'styled' table decorations, photobooths with someone to frame the photos so the guests can take them home, artisan pinatas!

You've just reminded me madwoman that I need to pick up the gold leaf to cover our artisan piñatas! I nearly dropped the ball there

Hang on, the OP has said "I frequently am the one to point things out just didn't feel my kids party was the time or place. When I point these things out people seem offended."

Any chance that they were just getting their own back for comments you've made in the past?

Glad to be of service, archedbrow. It's not a party without gold leaf artisan pinatas. Little Archie wouldn't be able to hold up his head among the other six year olds.

DD2 is counting down the months days to her 7 th birthday when she will have a 'party' with the Asda cake with the tiara on it. This will be the 3rd year in a row with that cake because she loves that tiara and kills it in about 6 months.

'Party' is unspecified at the moment. The tiara is not.

At my nephews party a few years ago I overheard some quite bitchy comments aimed at my sister, my nephew and the party... I waited a while before introducing myself I didn't say anything except to my sister as one of the gossipers was a lot more back- stabby than the others they knew they were in the poo.

People can be so rude.

MIL and I have some sort of long running (admittedly petty) stand-off about cake. Every family occasion we invite her to she says 'I'll buy a cake' to which I say I'm making one...then she says to dh 'are you sure you don't want me to buy a cake' several times. I always end up making the cakes though.

@SurlyValentine
My sister is always a mardy cow. The other two I barely know and have never slagged off for any reason (despite my view on crisp tightness!) so would hope not!

@Archedbrowse @Madwomans yep agree birthday countdown is started by mine the second they have finished unwrapping xmas, they love parties, they are sociable, that's a good thing!