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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 87.3% of British women don't drink less than me?

298 replies

theduchessstill · 05/04/2017 23:11

I went on one of those sites where they track and evaluate your drinking - was inspired to do so by another thread. I know I drink a bit too much - across three nights I have a bottle of wine and often a couple of bottles of lager or another glass or 2 of wine.

The site calculated it as 16 units - I knew it would be there or thereabouts so no great shock there, but then said that 87.3% of British women drink less. I find that hard to believe. Who is buying all the wine then? There are people who are alcoholics, people who drink small - medium amounts every night, people who have a massive blow-out every week etc etc.

Surely we don't have a massive problem with alcohol in this country (and we do) if the vast majority of women drink less than me, who drinks slightly over the maximum amount recommended. In particular, I understood women's drinking was of particular concern.

I'm not looking for validation - I know the amount I have is a bit too much but I'm happy enough with it atm, but that figure seemed unlikely to me.

OP posts:
FaithAgain · 06/04/2017 08:18

I just did that survey...it's a bit odd because it assumes you drink every week. I don't, but I had to put in something per week so I put in one drink a week. It said 55% women drink more than me. However that's not accurate because there's weeks when I don't drink.

I used to drink a lot - way more than you OP! I could easily have a bottle of wine to myself in a night, nights out would be spirits, cocktails, shots....I could have 30+ units those nights Confused Rarely drank every day though. Gradually I cut down through health issues (chronic pain made worse by alcohol), then pregnancy, breast feeding (not that I wouldn't drink then but DD cluster fed at night and by the time I'd got her down I just wanted to go to bed!).

DH stoppped drinking 6 months ago, he was worried about the impact it was having on his health. I agreed not to drink at home either to support him. Now I go weeks without drinking and can't say I miss it! I do enjoy the odd drink but it's nice to have it in perspective.

Babbaganush · 06/04/2017 08:19

I drink less than that as do my mum, niece, aunt and many of my friends! My dh drinks less than that too!!!

msrisotto · 06/04/2017 08:19

The non drinkers don't skew the statistics by the way, they are a part of the whole picture. I think it's important that we are honest about alcohol and don't discount the most robust evidence we have.

For what it's worth op, you drink more on a regular basis than anyone I know.

Eolian · 06/04/2017 08:20

I don't think MNers are generally disapproving about drinking at reasonable levels. It's just that these threads attract the extremes. And people who know they drink too much are usually very defensive and keen to prove to themselves that their drinking is normal, hence the inevitable bristling at the stats and disbelief at those who 'claim' not to drink much.

The stats almost certainly aren't very accurate, but that just means that loads of people are drinking at unhealthy levels, not that you aren't. Fwiw I consider myself a moderate-ish drinker and I probably have around 7 units a week except at Christmas etc. Used to drink a lot more until I had dc.

itsacatastrophe · 06/04/2017 08:21

I don't drink and only know one couple who have a drink every day (or almost every day). Most people I know only drink as a social thing so yeah I'd say that stat is probably pretty accurate

flumpybear · 06/04/2017 08:26

I think you should remember that people don't drink. I do, I drink more than you too, as do a fair amount of my friends, that's ok - but it's important to remember to limit and keep a few days a week when you're not drinking

shovetheholly · 06/04/2017 08:27

What do you guys who don't drink do in the evenings, especially Friday/Saturday night? Where do you meet up with friends in the evenings in the week?

Is there a network of secret temperance bars I don't know about, serving virgin cocktails in elegant glasses? Smile

hackmum · 06/04/2017 08:27

I think we tend to assume our own behaviour is typical, particularly if it matches up with what our friends do. But there are lots of people who don't drink very much. My parents, for example, barely touched alcohol, except perhaps at Christmas and on the odd social occasion. For that particular demographic - older, working-class people - drinking just isn't something you do as a matter of course. Whereas among people who are middle-aged and broadly middle-class, having a glass or two of wine with your meal, even during the week, is quite normal.

And then you have all the people in their late teens and 20s who might not drink much during the week but binge drink at weekends.

Then there is a group of people who don't drink at all for religious reasons.

I think by the time you even it all out, it's quite possible that, yes, 87% of women do drink less than you.

Sparrowlegs248 · 06/04/2017 08:30

Blimey. I'm surprised that so many posters think op drinks a lot, and more than them, their friends, relatives etc.

I don't drink at all, atm as am bf a 7week old baby and also have a toddler. I haven't drink for three years really due to pregnancy and bf.

Before pregnancy though, I drank wine in varying degrees. When I was 'being good' one bottle over Friday/Saturday. Often though half a bottle most nights, and sometimes an entire bottle a night which I'm sure many people on this thread would be horrified at, and was when I realised I needed or should cut back. Saying that a positive pregnancy test and I stopped immediately.

Many people I work with drink most nights. It's quite a stressful and depressing job, don't know if that impacts.

MycatsaPirate · 06/04/2017 08:35

I very rarely drink. Probably one unit a month averaged out over the year. So I could go three months without drinking but have 3 units in one evening.

I do think there is a huge alcohol culture within the 30 and 40 somethings. My sister is forever posting photos of bottles of wine and gin and seems to spend a lot of her free time in the pub. I went to a PTA meeting last night and everyone was drinking G&T and I was on water.

I am not smug about my drinking habits, I just realised a while ago that I don't like the way it makes me feel the next day so I would rather have a few nights a year when I drink and not bother the rest of the time. I can quite happily not drink for months.

LastnightaDJ · 06/04/2017 08:36

I started in my early thirties to get migraines/terrible hangovers from even just one drink. So stopping was logical. It annoys me but I just can't tolerate it. I find it incredible how much people can drink without feeling terrible after effects, especially with DCs.

Thing is when I go out I just say "oh no thanks, I don't drink alcohol these days." And people find it so difficult to believe! That makes me think it is very unusual to not drink. UK friends drink most - I have many Italian and German friends who have never drunk much. Over their, getting drunk is actually seen as not being able to handle your drink and quite embarrassing (at least in certain circles and obviously not at Carneval/Oktoberfest!)

The UK drink culture is quite deeprooted .

MycatsaPirate · 06/04/2017 08:37

shove Not everyone goes out at the weekends and I am quite happy not to drink at home. I don't feel the need for alcohol just because it's the weekend?

And on the odd occasion we are out I am happy to drink tonic and lime juice.

msrisotto · 06/04/2017 08:37

And the non drinkers probably come on these threads to provide balance to the preposterous claims that everyone drinks that much.

Stillwishihadabs · 06/04/2017 08:38

Increasing, I couldnt give a stuff whether the mothers who go to the pub or each other's houses for wine after school keep drinking or not. I find the activity tedious, i would rather be taking dcs to the park/swimming/walking in the woods or even baking with them or taking them shopping than sat about drinking wine. It makes for lazy cba parenting IMO and sets a terrible example to pre-teens. (Yes i am judging)

bananafish81 · 06/04/2017 08:39

*What do you guys who don't drink do in the evenings, especially Friday/Saturday night? Where do you meet up with friends in the evenings in the week?

Is there a network of secret temperance bars I don't know about, serving virgin cocktails in elegant glasses? *

I go to pubs with my work colleagues and have a lime and soda - I still buy them drinks, just cos I can't drink doesn't mean I'm tight

I meet a friend for dinner and eat food but just don't have wine. Or meet in the pub and I just have a sparkling water with ice and a slice

My friends all have small kids now and so I don't ever see them in the evenings any more (or much at all tbh, as their weekends unsurprisingly revolve around their kids' play dates and get togethers with their mum friends.) We can't have children so we don't really have a role in their lives before.

Fri and Sat night DH and I might go out for dinner. Maybe a music or comedy gig. Or stay in and watch Netflix.

I don't go out clubbing any more but that's not because I don't drink any more, that's because all my friends have kids and so we don't go out on the razz anyway!

UppityHumpty · 06/04/2017 08:39

I buy wine whenever I see an offer, but don't drink it. I like to drink with friends/family etc so usually bring the bottles with me when we meet up once a month - even then will only have a couple of small glasses.

greenworm · 06/04/2017 08:39

It's a good point about comparing yourself to friends/family. I consider myself an average drinker because I drink more than my DP and a couple of good friends, but less than my parents and a couple of other friends... but on this thread I'm more of a heavy drinker.

LastnightaDJ · 06/04/2017 08:39

Re the Virgin Cocktails below -,I wish there were more options for non drinkers! I just don't go to the pub any more just to drink. I go to a club where we sing and play music so it isn't just about drinking. Or go for a meal/talk books at book club. Being the sober one in a group of drinkers is very boring!

msrisotto · 06/04/2017 08:40

Omg ate you really asking what people do with themselves if they aren't drinking?! Is it so hard to imagine? I still meet friends for dinner etc and I drink soft drinks! Shock horror!

msrisotto · 06/04/2017 08:40

Are*

BarbaraofSeville · 06/04/2017 08:40

Most of my friends and work colleagues drink more than me

This, What you see amongst the people you spend most time with will hugely skew your perception of 'normal'

Many people are tee total, or drink very lightly, eg 1 or 2 small drinks at Christmas/occasional nights out. Plenty of people don't drink for religious reasons. Then there will be the genuine light drinkers who drink one or two drinks once or twice a week. Many younger adults drink much less than those between about 30 and 60. I have a few cousins/nieces plus DCs of colleagues in that age bracket and they barely drink alcohol at all.

I probably average at 10-15 units, so if the stats quoted are true, I'm probably very much 'above average' but in my environment made up mostly of middle ageish middle class and/or educated office workers/professionals I'm very much below average with one bottle of wine a week plus the occasional pint of beer or 2/3 G&Ts instead of the bottle of wine.

A lot of my colleagues drink half to one bottle of wine at least 5 nights a week, sometimes more - some will get 6 bottles of wine from the supermarket every week and drink all of them themselves.

heron98 · 06/04/2017 08:41

I have about one drink a month on average so I perhaps push the average down but what you're drinking doesn't sound that bad to me. Most of my friends drink more than that. Mainly beer though.

LinaBo · 06/04/2017 08:42

I drink very little for health reasons (I have a condition that fares up if I have more than a glass of wine), but I put 1 spirit a week in the calculator to account for the glass of Pimms on summer evenings - that's 1 unit - and it's told me that I drink more than 51.5% of women. I highly doubt it!

picklemepopcorn · 06/04/2017 08:44

Shovetheholly
I don't go out in that sense.
I have meetings and activities in the evenings, which are with friends but are not purely social. Certainly not drinking occasions!
I meet friends for a meal once a month but don't usually drink then.
Weddings and birthday parties, yes, and I drink as much as I can handle.
I meet friends for a coffee or a dog walk, for lunch or cake...
I go to pubs to eat with my family and have a pint then.

BarbaraofSeville · 06/04/2017 08:44

Forgot to mention that obviously most pregnant women drink nothing or almost nothing, so that's another big group of none drinkers.

I struggle with not drinking alcohol in pubs because I don't really like fizzy drinks, especially those that contain artificial sweeteners, which most seem to, even lime cordial these days, I don't want to drink a load of sugary drinks and I certainly don't want to pay pub prices for sparkling water, which can be more than beer, often being about £2 for a small bottle.