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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think they should have called by now?

16 replies

BBCNewsRave · 05/04/2017 16:04

Spent night in A&E suicidal 4 weeks ago. Incredibly, they agreed i needed help and said they'd refer me.

Not heard a thing.

I feel so utterly worthless and a burden on everyone - but it is them wo make me feel like that. When I first asked for help I felt I deserved it.

I am totally alone with this. Can't see private therapist cos they think I am too risky.

I want to give up.

DO they want me to die? Might they be annoyed I'm still here? I kind of feel like I'm not taking a hint

OP posts:

TitaniasCloset · 05/04/2017 16:07

Can you phone your Gp for an emergency appointment?

If not and you can't guarantee your own safety go back to a&e.

Tell the GPS receptionist the situation.

StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2017 16:08

This is completely down to an over stretched system/ processes and not you at all. I'm sorry but you will need to chase them to get the help you deserve. Good luck, I hope you get help very soon.

PovertyJetset · 05/04/2017 16:08

Call your GP immendiatily and see them.

Then call samaritans.

No one wants you to die. No one. Services are overstretched and that's outqith your control.

TitaniasCloset · 05/04/2017 16:09

It will take time for a federal for counselling to come through. But if you are suicidal maybe some time in a hospital psych ward or just some extra support in the meantime from a care coordinator or home treatment team will help.

TitaniasCloset · 05/04/2017 16:10

Referal rather.

kingscrossnoodle · 05/04/2017 16:16

Definitely call your GP

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 05/04/2017 16:33

Hi OP, hand hold here 🙋🏼
Resources are stretched at the moment, like yourself, there are many people finding it hard to cope.
You're life is very precious. Do ring your GP, and explain how you are feeling. The Samaritans will lend you a non judgemental ear.
Please be kind to yourself OP, you count. 🌸

TitaniasCloset · 05/04/2017 16:38

Have you phoned your Gp yet op?

Let us know what's happening. Be strong, hold on.

One day when you are much happier and healed some more you will look back at this as the time in your life you sought help and be glad you held on.

peaCOCKness · 05/04/2017 16:51

I'm sorry that you have been let down like this by such a stretched resource. Please know that no one wants you to die and you are not alone. I hope you managed to contact your GP and it the Samartians x

Original poster

BBCNewsRave · 05/04/2017 16:56

Apologies the end of my post went weird, accidentally sucuumbed to the weird thoughts in my head.

I know I just have to get through it alone, as I always do. Feel like I'm figuring things out slowly, over years, but sometimes you just feel like you need someone to care. And the system isn't set up to/doesn't have the resources to do that.

I'm awaiting an ASD assessment, which has given them a convenient excuse to say "Not until..."
It's an excuse because they weren't interested before that came up, either. And they speak of it as if it's "help", in the same way someone might say "Try to hold on, your counselling starts soon", when in reality an assessment isn't "helpful" in itself. And there are no ASD services for adults here anyway... I pointed out whatever my ASD/otherwise status, I'm still traumatised and depressed. Crisis team person said that it does make a difference because if I have ASD they might view me and my "reactions" differently.

OP posts:

CustardOmlet · 05/04/2017 16:58

Were you seen by the crisis team whilst in a&e? Who said you would be seen? There is a 6months+ wait on talking therapy within my area and that's about the same nation wide. If you still feel you are in crisis you will have to see your GP.

CustardOmlet · 05/04/2017 17:01

Sorry cross post. An ASD diagnosis is very relevant in the type of work and support that is given. The way I would work with someone with depression would be very different to someone who was depressed with ASD depending on your coping strategies. There may also by LD nurses working within crisis who will be better support than the MH nurses.

TitaniasCloset · 05/04/2017 17:02

No love I'm in the UK. I have a psychiatrist and care coordinater for my illness. If I get really bad then they can offer the home treatment team or possibly a stay in a psychiatric unit, although they have shut down the lovely unit I used to go to.

I'm just wondering if you have a psychiatrist or care coordinater too or are still just under the Gp?

Are you taking your medications properly?

You need an emergency appointment if you can get one. Explain that you are suicidal. I'm not sure what they will offer you it depends on the area you are in.

Original poster

BBCNewsRave · 05/04/2017 17:33

I'm not actively suicidal, which is the thing that would matter. Just... logically suicidal, if that makes sense. Get worn out from coping with things day in, day out.

Custard I know ASD is relevent in general, but it's not relevent to why I think the services are a complete shambles/not psychologically informed, as I have come across many, many neurotypical people expressing the same sentiments! Not to mention having read a certain amount of relevent psychological literature. It's also not really ok for them to be talking about my assessment as if it's "help" in itself. They talk about it as if I will feel better after one asessment appointment! When actually it will be several appointments and isn't treatment. Plus it was me who raised the possibility of ASD so it's not like this is all part of some plan of theirs.

I'm interested to know what you would do differently with someone with ASD, and why that depends on "coping strategies"/what you mean by the term. FWIW I "cope" fine, I'm just not getting better (well at a glacial pace, anyway...) But yeh it would be helpful to know what might be different, perhaps it would help me frame things better. :)

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 05/04/2017 22:29

How are you doing g?
I'm sorry I have actual help or advice.

Teabagtits · 05/04/2017 22:42

bbc I'm sorry you're feeling so alone and abandoned by the services.

With regard to Asd & depression/anxiety treatment it can be very different depending on the cause. For years I was heavily medicated and had medications swapped regularly and told to behave normally, pull my socks up, keep pushing etc which were all the wrong responses for Asd. The triggers for my experience of depression etc were purely related to being autistic and trying to fit into a neurotypicals world. That's not to say the depression etc I felt wasn't real but that it's origins and it's pathways were different to other non autistic people with mh problems. I know that doesn't help you in the short term and you shouldn't let them brush you off with excuses because there's still a lot they can do and assumptions they can make with treatment. Remind them autistic people are all individuals and that no one treatment pathway suits us all. So they can tailor treatment to your specific requirements without a diagnosis. You won't change as a person and your needs won't change from what they are now based on a label.

I could write an entire book ranting about this but I'll spare you. Know that there are people (strangers) who care and who do understand so you're not alone. Much love

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